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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Whereas obviously anyone who identified as a switch upfront would be having the conversation about compatible kinks before the relationship started.

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It has been my experience that switches, in general, are more open to expressing their kinks or sexual interests than most other orientations.

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ORIGINAL: TomCypress

First off (passing out some coronas) Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!

*accepts the bottle of corona, adds a slice of lime and gives a nod of thanks to TC for his kindness*

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It has been my experience that switches, in general, are more open to expressing their kinks or sexual interests than most other orientations.

CarrieO Imho DesIFP's comment is actually a compliment and highlighting a common problem in any relationship "constant and current communication" slipping in the human trait of preconceived conceptions. "I am Dominate I will top" is sot of a given, might not even come up for discussion, while entering a relationship a Switch an extraordinary amount of time in the beginning is spent just on defining bounders.

TC, (I hope you don't mind me shortening your name) maybe my answer and question was clouded with my own personal experiences...much like everyone else...but I didn't see the comment made by DesFIP as a compliment.  If it was, I apoligize for misunderstanding.  I read it as just a statement that I was hoping for clarification on.
 
I often read post made by people that say, in effect, they aren't able to trust a switch in a relationship because they 'switch at the drop of a hat'.  So much comes down to communication, imo, and it really doesn't matter how a person identifies.  I believe in every relationship, the discussion of boundaries or limits needs to be tackled, early and often. 
 
To be honest, I was hashing the idea of honest communication, trust and limits over in my mind while driving this morning and I thought back to a saying we have at work...'your lack of proper planning does not constitute an emergency on my part'.  To relate it back to switches and communication...'your lack of proper communication does not constitute a switch issue on my part'. 
 
I've met more than a few people who identify as dominant who enjoy bottoming purely for the sensory experience and don't identify as a switch for whatever reason.  Most of them make it very clear when getting to know a perspective partner what their proclivities are.  Yes, there will be those that don't or those who don't have a deep enough understanding of themselves or who aren't willing to acknowledge their desire to bottom and try to pass it off as something else. 
But, isn't that all the more reason for being as clear as possible in the beginning with someone new as to your own boundaries and limits (which is what you were saying, I know, but I think everyone, regardless of their label, has a responsibility to communicate)?


Mistress once told me "Its all about mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter"

Switch with swager

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ORIGINAL: CarrieO

I often read post made by people that say, in effect, they aren't able to trust a switch in a relationship because they 'switch at the drop of a hat'.  So much comes down to communication, imo, and it really doesn't matter how a person identifies.  I believe in every relationship, the discussion of boundaries or limits needs to be tackled, early and often. 
 
To be honest, I was hashing the idea of honest communication, trust and limits over in my mind while driving this morning and I thought back to a saying we have at work...'your lack of proper planning does not constitute an emergency on my part'.  To relate it back to switches and communication...'your lack of proper communication does not constitute a switch issue on my part'. 

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ORIGINAL: CarrieO

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Whereas obviously anyone who identified as a switch upfront would be having the conversation about compatible kinks before the relationship started.

I'm curious, DesFIP, why it would seem obvious that switches would discuss compatible kinks before getting closer to someone and a submissive or dominant wouldn't?  If a dom doesn't say that he likes to bottom on occassion or a sub likes to top sometimes, is that a switch problem or a communication problem?

It has been my experience that switches, in general, are more open to expressing their kinks or sexual interests than most other orientations. 

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Hell. every important thing ought to be discussed upfront.