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RE: Just SEX - 4/30/2010 6:10:30 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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For me BDSM and D/s are not the same deal at all. I am a sado-masochist which fits nicely into BDSM. I can use BDSM in several ways to reset myself. D/s is part of my emotional/mental makeup. I have never chosen to include it in the acronym of BDSM because for me those are physical and ds is relationship stuff.
I happen to be submissive and for that all I need is someone to devote myself to, and it would not matter to me if the physical nature of BDSM was a component or not.

Of course I prefer it be a combined package, and for most of my life those are the sort of men I run across.
Happy circumstance :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

~Fast Reply~
People are into it for all sorts of reasons but, for me it's not just about the sex, although bdsm does definitely get me hot & i want sex too. i'm an all-the-time submissive rather than a bedroom submissive, the whole package is very fulfilling for me. The sex is much more exciting with bdsm thrown into the mix but, when i belong to a Dom, i'm submissive to Him all the time, not just during sex. i also love the D/s and bondage aspects of it.

~sweetsub~

i would like to add to my above post that it's part of a whole, loving relationship for me. If there's no loving relationship, it's just not gonna happen. Period.

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RE: Just SEX - 4/30/2010 6:42:47 PM

sweetboundesire

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Joined: 10/29/2009
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for some, i really believe it's all about sex...when they say they want a deep relationship, it goes about 7-8" deep! lol

for me, i need it to be more. it would be harmful mentally to give so much of myself and just have it be nothing but sex. what is important is finding someone who you really connect with on the same level. I suppose the best advice is if it means more to you than sex, don't have sex for the 1st few dates. if you're still into each other after that, hit the sack!:)

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Post #: 22

RE: Just SEX - 4/30/2010 7:32:12 PM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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When I do bdsm, angels stop to watch because it is so transcendent.

Either that, or they stop to wank because my fucking her brains out is so damn hot.

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Post #: 23

RE: Just SEX - 4/30/2010 8:30:32 PM

whipmaker7

Posts: 82
Joined: 4/30/2010
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b d s m

Bondage
Discipline
Sadism
Masochism

I think that spells it out pretty clearly, right? They did forget to include sex in there, though!

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Post #: 24

RE: Just SEX - 4/30/2010 8:36:30 PM

VampiresLair

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TomCypress

I need to ask this question is BDSM just sex! Ii hold the view point that BSDM goes beyond sex

BDSM is whatever you want it to be. For some its all sex, for some it has nothing to do with sex. It doesnt necessarily go beyond, it can be a separate entity all together.

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RE: Just SEX - 5/1/2010 6:46:51 AM

reynardfox

Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
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It depends what you mean by sex. It may only be a three letter word but it means a lot of different things

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Post #: 26

RE: Just SEX - 5/1/2010 10:53:20 PM

pegbundy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

When I do bdsm, angels stop to watch because it is so transcendent.

Either that, or they stop to wank because my fucking her brains out is so damn hot.

You are quite right with your first statement. We all do stop to watch, and take notes of course.

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RE: Just SEX - 5/2/2010 8:44:45 AM

Titanium0Master

Posts: 35
Joined: 4/27/2010
From: Pittsburgh, PA
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If you ask 1,000 people to define BDSM you would get 1,000 different answers. And while I'm sure most of those answers would refer to sex in some way or another, I'm also sure you would get at least a few that did not reference sex at all.

< Message edited by Titanium0Master -- 5/2/2010 9:07:30 AM >

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Post #: 28

RE: Just SEX - 5/2/2010 3:27:11 PM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

i believe for a few people it isnt about sex at all. after the play, they achieve such a level of release that sex becomes unneccessary.

in some relationships ive had, sex almost comes second to play or at least its just another thing to do together with nothing like the same emphasis as in vanilla where sex is the main event and kink if done at all is part of the foreplay.

ive had sex with no bdsm, ive had bdsm with no sex but i havent often had sex and bdsm together and by that i mean penetrative sex.
[/quote]

Ya mean ya never had it "doggy style" with a wooden spoon across your ass until it turns red?

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Post #: 29

RE: Just SEX - 5/2/2010 3:47:24 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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For me it's all about sexual energy in one way or another, or else I wouldn't be doing kinky activities.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TomCypress

I need to ask this question is BDSM just sex! Ii hold the view point that BSDM goes beyond sex

NOT looking to be flamed just want to know your opinion

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Post #: 30

RE: Just SEX - 5/2/2010 4:04:53 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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For us, bondage is not a power activity. It is a pleasurable activity that increases sexual enjoyment. Power is used here when he says I am without my car for two weeks while he slowly fixes it instead of paying $500 to the shop and getting it back the next morning. It's him saying chocolate ice cream and not peach. He's a bondage top but he doesn't do it to get off on the control. Just because it turns him and me on.

For us bondage is sexual, dominance is not directly for him except that him physically dominating me causes me to get aroused. But if he did it to someone who did not become aroused by it, he would not be either. He requires a lot of energy exchange during sex. Which is why I am not allowed subspace until after.

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Post #: 31