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RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 1:30:02 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thatkinkyfriend

Well...thanks for the heads up again. heh

Perhaps you could provide me with some ideas, as opposed to just saying what I'm doing is never going to work...?



I never said it wouldn't work, but I have no clue what you could do for someone online. That is why I asked. So far you haven't come up with anything and now you want the women to do the work for you? You are the one offering yourself online, so what are you offering?


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RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 1:32:01 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thatkinkyfriend

Alright well how about this...what are some common things that a domme would look for in return? Seriously here, I'm 100% clueless as to what the expectations would be.

And...thanks for helping :)



In your profile, you say "I'm interested in serving a dominant female via webcam and online."

Now you have been asked how you plan on serving her and you admit, you haven't worked out that part yet? WTF


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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 1:57:17 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		Domme here- maybe i can help. This is a common issue here. BoiJen said it best- an online domme is helping you to get your rocks off, but you arent offering anything in return. What's wrong with this picture? "offering myself" is a pretty broad statement, especially if you are not willing to tribute money. if not monetary, what could you do? Entertain her? we have TV for that. A domme can only watch a guy fuck himself with a dildo or other insertable object so many times before we wonder what type of compensation we are getting out of it. It doesn't tickle my fancy to do that, and few other women would be into just that. I strongly recommend that you figure out what you could offer a Domme BEFORE you try to pursue one. Why should she spend time on you?

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RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 2:04:34 PM   
thatkinkyfriend


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/21/2009
Status: offline 		I think what I'm saying is getting misconstrued here. What I said was I don't know what to offer, not I refuse to offer anything. There have been several overreactions and "skim through replies" in this thread that are taking it in strange directions. I've decided to weed through most of the garbage and just take the approach of asking what a domme would like. Thanks to the few who helped. :)

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RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 2:16:15 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		no, my dear- you are the one who isn't understanding what we are telling you. We get that you don't know what to offer. What i have said, as well as others, is that you need to figure out what to offer before you try to look for a Domme. Since you don't know what to offer and will not offer monetary tribute- you are offering pretty much nothing. That is the advice we are offering you. Skimming can be quite detrimental ya know.

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RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 2:18:40 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		and as a heads up- the whole "a domme who isnt looking for tributes" is where this is all coming from.

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RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 2:33:12 PM   
NIrelandSubF


Posts: 47
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thatkinkyfriend

What I said was I don't know what to offer, not I refuse to offer anything.


Well, I'm not in an online relationship, I live close to my Dom and we meet up weekly or so, but I have also made myself useful to him online from time to time, so can perhaps offer an example of the sort of thing you might be able to do.

JR is into books in a big way, often old out of print ones which can be hard to find. I have at times spent considerable amounts of time trying to track down such books for him online, eventually being able to send him a link so he can simply click and buy. The same with old records by particular artists he likes.

Since I work in IT, I've also helped him out with computer problems by connecting remotely to his PC, and helped with editing photos or the layout of complex documents, etc, which he's sent me by email. Have also done research to find out how to do complicated things with spreadsheets, say, and then set them up for him. You may have skills that could be put to good use without needing to be there in person?

I'm not saying occasional acts like that alone would be sufficient payback for a Domme providing what you want online, without ever having any real-life meetings, but they may give you inspiration for more ideas of your own.

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RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 2:34:40 PM   
igor2003


Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Don't let the negativity that you see here stop you. When I got my first computer and used it for "meeting" dominant women I served several different ones online. What did they get out of it? I honestly can't say, but the fact is that there ARE women that enjoy online training! Actually, it got old and unsatisfying for ME, which is why I no longer do online training even though many women do want it. Often it is used as a way for them to judge how well you will obey their orders before they decide to meet in person, but there are others that have no intention of meeting but do want an online sub or slave. Why do they want it? You would have to ask them. Just because the ladies that have responded so far are not into and don't understand it does not mean that there are not women out there that DO enjoy it for their own reasons. So keep looking and I'm sure you can find what you are looking for.

YOU don't have to justify the reasons that some women look for an online slave. What they are looking for is someone that is willing to follow their orders, usually on cam, and their reasons for wanting that are their own. What you can offer them (other than for those that expect tribute) is simply your willingness to obey their directions for their amusement. Why it amuses them, or what they get out of it is going to be different for EVERY one of them, and trying to answer THAT question for people that don't understand it is nothing but a lesson in futility.

Since online training has no distance issues you actually have the whole world to search to find what you are looking for so unless you do eventually want to meet there is no reason to limit your search to any one area. You might find that foreign ladies are more open to an online relationship. You'll probably find that many or most of the ladies that do online training DO want some kind of so-called "tribute". What you do there is up to you, but I assure you there are many that do simply enjoy the activity without expecting to be paid for it.

Good luck.

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If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy. - Red Green

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RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 2:36:13 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

What I said was I don't know what to offer, not I refuse to offer anything


Well, just maybe, you should figure that out, before you offer it.

Oh and I showed a couple domme friends of mine this thread. They said "he's really cute, but what's he going to do for me?"

Just thought I would pass the message along.


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"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 2:38:28 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

and as a heads up- the whole "a domme who isnt looking for tributes" is where this is all coming from.


I have no problem with him saying that up front. Would you rather have him leading the ladies on. If he doesn't want a pro, that is his business. Personally, if I look for a Mistress, I wouldn't take a pro either. It's not the kind of relationship I would be interested in.


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 2:38:58 PM   
thatkinkyfriend


Posts: 9
Joined: 12/21/2009
Status: offline 		Well...at least I'm cute, heheh.

Thanks again, it's obviously going to be a struggle in the early going.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 2:40:43 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Yea, but most things worth having are good luck

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 2:45:31 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		above everything- we appriciate your honesty- and you are adorable lol. but figuring out what you can offer assures that you time isnt wasted and her's isnt either. if you do all of your work in school, study hard and the like, i'm sure you'd expect a decent grade in return. if not, what was the point?

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 3:28:23 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		I've been thinking about this thread a bit. There are things that *can* be offered from far away, via computer. I wanted to offer these suggestions:

As an accountant, doing the books for the business (although there's a whole lot of trust required there)
An attorney could write and execute legal papers.
A business person could look at and evaluate a business plan.
A teacher could tutor.
Writers like having researchers help them.

Just a few ideas I came up with as what you could offer.

Good luck OP in your search. It can happen. Sometimes what happens here is the guys have seen this type of porn and think that is reality when iun fact it is actually far from what happens in the real world. The folks who have been around for awhile have seen it a number of times.

You are certainly taking the information in stride. And frankly, isn't the willingness to do as one is told one of the key ingredients to being a submissive person? Hang in there!

best,
sunshine

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 3:35:00 PM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		kinky friend a word from one who has been there and worn the t-shirt, avoid prodommes. Miss Asylum is  a prodomme and is only interested in you for your money nothing else. Dommes dont get that there is a recession going on and they need to take their head out of the clouds and get real and lower their rates. Since many are not willing to do that , I find it better to join a local bdsm group where no expense in involved and have conversation with Dommes an d Women who are not looking for only your wallet as Prodommes are
kevin

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/5/2010 4:26:27 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		ThatKinkyFriend- meet kevin. he is from ireland, currently unemployed(work expirence as he calls it), broke, claims to be a savant of economics, claims that prodommes are the reason why the economy is on a downslide and why he can't get a job, and frequently hijacks threads to talk about such. you'll be seeing a lot of him around here. oh and for all intents and purpose, have i asked you for money? maybe i have and i' having a slow moment lol.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/21/2010 4:42:15 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Welcome, OP!

I'd like to second what sunshinemiss said. There are things along the lines of what she suggested, that I could see using someone's help for sometime, in an online relationship. But we'd hafta take plenty of time to develop trust, first. You could be anybody, and just using that pic so we'll think you're cute. And I could be a huge, hairy guy, for all you know.

Just as an FYI, most of those wishing to see you on cam are likely to be men. Women don't need to cam, like that. We can get a guy naked in the same room with us, very quickly and easily. Plus we're more oriented toward real interaction, or even just reading about it- rather than watching. We're not nearly as visually oriented as men.

So be careful, or you'll end up camming for bored 14 year-old boys.

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RE: In search of an online Domme - 5/23/2010 1:15:19 PM   
candacedragon69


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/9/2010
Status: offline 		How can you hope to be broken in online and not in person?

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Profile   Post #: 38
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