NuevaVida
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AspX
As part of a long-term M/s relationship, does anyone here require the bottom to transform their body so that it is more pleasing to their top?
I was already on a weight loss program when we met. What he requires of me, is that I finish what I start - in all areas of my life (when it is healthy to do so). I expect this of myself, as well. As for my weight, I started losing because I wanted to be healthier and also more appealing to myself. Add him to the mix, and hell yes, I want to be more appealing to him, too. But it wasn't something ordered of me when we met - it was already in place and all he does is provide incredible encouragement and support, particularly during the rough weeks.
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Do tops view their bottom's physical appearance as a reflection of themselves when they take the bottom out in public (whether it be an actual BDSM activity or just to the grocery store)?
I have no idea and don't care enough to ask. We are reflections of each other, overall, because we are together. Like Aquatic said, we're reflections of who our friends our, of what we do, of how we respond to life, etc. But my looks and well being is a direct reflection of how I have chosen to take care of myself.
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Does requiring the bottom to journal what they eat, or limit caloric/carb/fat intake, or exercise for a certain amount of time (or in a certain way) in order to make themselves more physically attractive increase the bond of service by having the bottom serve in little ways throughout the entire day?
No. I do what he says when he wants me to do something. The increasing bond of service comes from our love and respect for each other, and simply being who we are, not from chores and directives and such. To me, those seem like contrived ways of creating a situation that wouldn't exist otherwise, and thus rather ingenuous. I'm either going to submit to him and love him because of who he is, or I'm not.
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Does the top's physical appearance play into the bottom's willingness or attitude towards this type of control (i.e., is the top being a hypocrite because they are severely overweight vs. the top being in good physical shape and wanting the same from their partner)?
Interesting question. My ex owner was very overweight, and while he demanded, hollered, humiliated and yelled at me to lose weight (all of which were unsuccessful attempts, by the way), he did nothing to improve his own physical well being. I didn't see hypocrisy in it, since I viewed him as the owner who could do whatever he wanted and demand what he wanted of me - in other words, there is a double standard in M/s relationships, as I see it. However, I didn't respect this part of him, and I struggled with that.
My owner now is actually influenced by my successful weight loss path (I've lost 60 pounds so far) and has begun to eat more healthy, as well as exercise. He didn't have all that much to lose to begin with, but I think it's really cool that he is so open to being healthy with me. That's the kind of thing that increases our bond - that he embraces who I am and is open to bettering himself in the process. I find that amazingly attractive.
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Does it make a difference if a sub is overweight to the point of possible long-term health concerns such as diabetes, high cholesterol, joint issues (ankle, knee and hip problems), etc... by changing the equation from being an issue of "pleasing the top" to one of "taking care of the bottom"?
Having just lost 60, I was overweight to the point of potential health problems. I had only lost about 25 when we met, and I told him prior to our meeting how much I weighed and that I'd understand if he found that too unattractive to go forward with. He also knew I was on a path to getting healthy, and had faith that I'd continue. I won't go back to where I was before (because I got myself mentally healthy before embarking on physical health), but if he were ever concerned about that, he'd step in, yes, out of concern for my well being. But then he has concern for my well being in all areas of my life.
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Would going the opposite way, the top having a fet fetish and wanting the bottom to increase rather than decrease their size, change your answers to the previous questions?
I could only see him wanting this if I became too thin, and therefore, no, my answers wouldn't change. He cares for my well being, and would act accordingly.
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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.
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RE: Requiring Body Transformation (Weight Loss) in a M/... - 
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