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domme top ? - 3/20/2004 8:02:15 AM

islander60ca

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can some one explain the difference between a domme and a top ?

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RE: domme top ? - 3/20/2004 8:17:12 AM

seattleminx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: islander60ca

can some one explain the difference between a domme and a top ?

Labels differ from person to person, so these are my takes only.

A top is anyone who who takes the power position in a relationship dynamic. They dictate through action and word what is to be done and why. It can be as subtle as paying for dinner or as overt as telling someone to bend over their knee to get spanked.

A Domme is generally thought of as a term for a Female Dominant, ususally in a Dominant Woman/Submissive male dynamic. The term does offend some women, as it sets a distinction between "Male Dominants" and "Female Dominants". You rarely see the term in lesbian BDSM relationships.

(in reply to islander60ca)

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RE: domme top ? - 3/20/2004 4:36:00 PM

Sylverdawn

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I agree with seattleminx

Depends where you were raised up in the life so to speak

For me a Top is a techinican.. they can be a sadist, someone who is just kinky. They understand the the tools of the trade. They generally dont have as much interest in the D/s side of the BDSM.. a submissive can top someone.. if they know how to do the job right.

A domme.. is someone who is Dominant who can top, but who also want to invest in a TPE or a D/s dynamic.

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RE: domme top ? - 4/3/2004 12:56:37 PM

Mistress Mary

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Dom/me Top is the same to me...there is no difference..I think they both mean Superior..Some sites vary what they use as reference to a Dom/me

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[Deleted] - 4/3/2004 1:07:17 PM

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RE: domme top ? - 4/3/2004 4:33:24 PM

iwillserveu

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I always understood a Dom/me, was always in charge. A top is only in charge in the bedroom.

That may be highly regional or even based on my misunderstanding.

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RE: domme top ? - 4/3/2004 5:05:26 PM

EStrict

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Hi Mary,

I agree with you that I do see domimant/top as being the same in the respect that they are both in charge. One difference I see is that if you topping, it is/can be an occassional or out of the norm thing for you. Dominance however, I see more as personality traits and is always a part of you.

Either way, I don't see it as superior, just another part of the equation.

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RE: domme top ? - 4/3/2004 5:13:52 PM

topcat

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From: Tidewater, VA
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quote:

I don't see it as superior, just another part of the equation.

Midear Sandy-

how about as in superior/subordinant?

I was mentored, when I first came out in the scene, by an old guard, gay, west coast Dominant, and he often used it that way. He used some other 'non-standard' terms too- things like: we never 'played with a submissive'- we 'worked a subject'. Rather than 'a scene', we 'sessioned'. Toys were 'tools' or 'implements'.

I suspect M.Mary was using it in that sense

stay warm,
Lawrence

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RE: domme top ? - 4/3/2004 5:36:03 PM

EStrict

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::laughing:: You know Sir, I could understand it in that text, however that makes it sound to much like a job to me,,,,,

But to each his own :)

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RE: domme top ? - 4/3/2004 5:54:04 PM

inyouagain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: islander60ca
can some one explain the difference between a domme and a top ?

A Domme is a female while a Top can be either male or female.

Urban Dictionary is a user supported site where you can find various cultural definitions of many lifetyle topics. It provides very good clarification regarding your particular question:

Domme - Urban Dictionary definition of Domme

Top - Urban Dictionary definition of Top

The Urban Dictionary is setup to allow users to add other definitions and context. For example, the current last definition for Top:

quote:

Top - pot spelt backwards. sick little word to use with ur friends without anyone knowing what you really mean

yo bud lets go for a walk, topz, come back and eat

LOL, user particiation is an informative process, yes?

Inyouagain

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RE: domme top ? - 4/3/2004 6:02:24 PM

Mistress Mary

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