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ORIGINAL: OrpheusAgonistes
A moment of self-consiousness, for me, is a tiny crisis in my big brain that is resolved in an unusual, unfamiliar way.  It's dizzying, vertiginous, because my brain is very well adapted to making certain kinds of calculations and decisions; and when something happens that obliterates that protocol everything shuts down and I honestly have no idea what to do.  It's the sudden realization that I have an urgent need to please the woman I'm involved with, and that not pleasing her is not acceptable--not because it reflects poorly on me or doesn't get me what I want, but simply because her displeasure is an inherently unacceptable outcome.

It's jaw droppingly scary and overwhelming because every time I have a moment like this, it's a reiteration of the fact that there will be times when I am emotionally (and physically) uncomfortable, even wounded, in order for my partner to have what she wants.  It's possible that it will even happen simply because seeing me uncomfortable or worse is what she wants at a particular moment.  It's one thing to have my face slapped by a woman I'm attracted to--that's hot.  But it's another thing to realize that if necessary I'm going to be subjugating my urges and needs to make my partner happy.  That's a kind of ego death for me.  There's no way to put it other than "That shit freaks me the fuck out." Every moment of self-consciousness recapitulates those feelings.  Every time I'm made fully and poignantly aware of the situation (either deliberately or accidentally) it's like a kiss on the lips and a kick in the nuts at the same time.  In some ways, it's a brilliant feeling.  It's tender and savage at the same time.  But it's also about as easy as a nuclear war.

I think a succession of moments of self-consciousness around a woman is necessary to lead up to a sense of true and consuming devotion.  The moments can also be totally isolated--the realization that, right at a certain point in time all you care about is making this woman happy but that this feeling, too, is transitory.  I'm at the age where these kinds of isolated moments of stray  self-consciousness hold less and less appeal for me.  They also happen very infrequently because my focus tends to be more on the context and texture of an extended dynamic rather than a single brilliant brief moment. 

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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

I love, love, love strong confident men. And I love, love, love dominating them. The way in which I get to flip the tables is when I manage to throw them off their game and the best way to do that is to get to that little no-so-secure nugget within them, behind that big strong persona, and give it a little pinch to make him boldly aware that I've found it. And then, at that very moment, self consciousness in a man is deadly hot.

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I am talking about the kind of *humble* self consciousness that is very precious.  It's when a guy is nervous but it's honest.

It's the kind of man that you know is brave, and confident, and classy, but he shakes with fear because he doesn't want to fail (you), he doesn't want to be seen as less than. He wants to do the right thing.  Helplessness makes him uneasy, because he's afraid of the vulnerability. 

There is something deeply attractive to me about a man who is uncomfortable.  He's uncomfortable because he's being real with me, and that means being vulnerable.  When I say he is self conscious, what he's showing me is his raw emotion - fear of being embarrassed (the kind that doesn't get him hard), fear of being a failure, fear of not being in control.

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He's uncomfortable because he's being real with me, and that means being vulnerable.