About discussing negative things

About discussing negative things (Full Version)

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SocratesNot -> About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:17:16 PM)
Why is discussing negative things sort of taboo on most forums? I have a very strong feelings of justice, and I am bothered by suffering of other people. I want to point to negative stuff, because I don't want it to be covered up. I want everyone to know about such things. I think that the awareness of the existence of bad stuff is a good first step towards eliminating it. Also, I think that real, genuine discussion about negative stuff provides much more food for thought than discussing only positive things. The greatest novels, paintings, poems, philosophical tracts, films and even scientific inventions were inspired in some way by human suffering. Actually, it is very hard to find any serious novel or film, in which some form of human suffering is not the essential part of the plot. Most inventions are made in order to eliminate human efforts and suffering in some way. Most poets claim that they wrote their best poems in periods of suffering or while reflecting on suffering. Silence8 today said "Thinking has become the ultimate taboo." I agree with him completely. What are your thoughts on this topic?

Lucienne -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:20:27 PM)
You are very young and should probably spend more time having sex.

Jeffff -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:22:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne You are very young and should probably spend more time having sex. WITH someone

LaTigresse -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:24:07 PM)
Other than yourself

LadyPact -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:24:50 PM)
Just because you have viewed them as negative or bad, doesn't necessarily make them so. Now, do you mind if I ask you a question? I base this on the overwhelming amount of time that you spend here since you joined. You seem to have very little of a social network in your real world. Why aren't you out dating? Spending time with family? Friends? At 22, there must certainly be other people in your life and activities that you enjoy in the real world. Why doesn't your pattern of time spent here reflect that?

LadyHibiscus -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:27:44 PM)
Unless you truly ARE in Bosnia, and there are no humans there that you know?

LadyPact -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:29:26 PM)
OR, you are very much in the real world as you are here and you've already annoyed everyone you know to the point of wanting nothing to do with you.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:30:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot Silence8 today said "Thinking has become the ultimate taboo." I agree with him completely. What are your thoughts on this topic? Honestly? I think you are talking bollocks. I will happily have a discussion with you about art or philosophy lets talk about the nature of beauty or the idea of human growth. I have read a lot of your posts and I have yet to see one that falls into the description you have here, I dunno maybe you don't realise what you are actually talking about. I don't think suffering is key to understanding humanity I think life is a lot more complex.

Lucienne -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:31:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne You are very young and should probably spend more time having sex. WITH someone Well, obviously that would be more fun. But I'm totally allowing for masturbation as a healthy thing here. In fact, reading this guy is probably the first and last time I've read someone here and thought "that person needs to spend some more time with porn." Seriously. He's over-intellectualizing the entire thing and trying to complete a philosophical survey of power dynamics when he claims to be interested in an egalitarian relationship with some slap and tickle. He needs more time with slap and tickle porn.

Jeffff -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:37:06 PM)
He has been doing this for a few days now. Whatever his agenda is, he has spent all the good will he would get from me. He's a douche Love Jeff

SocratesNot -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:43:14 PM)
quote: You are very young and should probably spend more time having sex. quote: WITH someone quote: Other than yourself Wouldn't it be better for me to engage in some sort of D/s. Or maybe to be a domestic slave? You see. You use the vanilla values, such as putting high value on having traditional sex, only when you want to insult someone. Which means that you all probably have much better opinion about vanilla then you are willing to admit. quote: I base this on the overwhelming amount of time that you spend here since you joined. You seem to have very little of a social network in your real world. Why aren't you out dating? Spending time with family? Friends? At 22, there must certainly be other people in your life and activities that you enjoy in the real world. Why doesn't your pattern of time spent here reflect that? Yes it is true that I spent unreasonably long time on this site since I joined it. But this is not the situation that is going on in my life on regular basis. I actually have a lot of friend, like to go out, socialize, and do all the other things young people do. It just happened that last few days some of my best friends are too busy on college, and one of them went on excursion, while I have a little more free time. I am not very comfortable discussing with my real life friends stuff such as kink and BDSM, yet I found discussions on this site to be interesting, so that's the reason I am overactive here last few days. quote: Unless you truly ARE in Bosnia, and there are no humans there that you know? I am truly in Bosnia and I don't see any reason why would I lie about it. There are lot of great people in my country, but BDSM just happen to be a little uncomfortable topic for discussion for most of them.

Lucienne -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:44:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot Why is discussing negative things sort of taboo on most forums? Silence8 today said "Thinking has become the ultimate taboo." I agree with him completely. What are your thoughts on this topic? These are gross generalizations. You know that. I think what you are responding to is resistance to a thorough critical analysis. And if I may turn the question a bit, how about instead of you casting wildly about for things to disagree with, we focus on actual barriers that you face in pursuing a bdsm relationship. To review what I've gathered about you... you're a 22 year old male living in Bosnia. You've had two girlfriends, but not much luck with girls. There isn't a thriving bdsm culture for you to join, so you can't just "go to a munch." You seem to be intelligent. How educated are you? Are you working? Living with your parents? Are you Bosnian, or just living there? What sort of cultural concerns do you have -- how conservative or liberal are your surroundings? You say you want an egalitarian relationship with some kink. Are the vanilla relationships around you egalitarian? What other sorts of work have you done to define yourself as an adult, other than study bdsm? What are your goals? What are the things that you do that contribute to your identity (this is going to hurt... but reading doesn't count in this question)?

LadyHibiscus -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:50:32 PM)
Ah, Lucienne, good luck with that. Reasonable questions seem to wash off the OP like raindrops off a teflon umbrella.

Lucienne -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:55:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot Wouldn't it be better for me to engage in some sort of D/s. Or maybe to be a domestic slave? You see. You use the vanilla values, such as putting high value on having traditional sex, only when you want to insult someone. Which means that you all probably have much better opinion about vanilla then you are willing to admit. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. And no, it wouldn't necessarily be better. I can understand why you take my comment as an insult but I offer it as sincere and genuine advice. I don't care for the term "vanilla." Actually, I'm not very fond of the term "kinky" and pretty much refused for years to use it to describe myself because I associate it with a sense of transgressiveness -- and what I do, what makes me happy are things that feel very natural and good to me. It's more Rousseau than de Sade. If your perfect partner just happened to come along right now and the two of you could engage in some D/s exploration that would be wonderful for you. I'd recommend, however, not waiting for the perfect partner. Sex is a wonderful thing. Have more of it. Learn pleasure, sensitivity to and communication with your partner. Your partner doesn't need to be kinky or into power exchange for you to do these things. And being good at these things are transferable skills for when you do find a kinky partner.

Lucienne -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 2:58:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Ah, Lucienne, good luck with that. Reasonable questions seem to wash off the OP like raindrops off a teflon umbrella. Ha. This one actually irritates me less the more I read him because I feel like I can almost make out the light.

LadyPact -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 3:01:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot quote: I base this on the overwhelming amount of time that you spend here since you joined. You seem to have very little of a social network in your real world. Why aren't you out dating? Spending time with family? Friends? At 22, there must certainly be other people in your life and activities that you enjoy in the real world. Why doesn't your pattern of time spent here reflect that? Yes it is true that I spent unreasonably long time on this site since I joined it. But this is not the situation that is going on in my life on regular basis. I actually have a lot of friend, like to go out, socialize, and do all the other things young people do. It just happened that last few days some of my best friends are too busy on college, and one of them went on excursion, while I have a little more free time. I am not very comfortable discussing with my real life friends stuff such as kink and BDSM, yet I found discussions on this site to be interesting, so that's the reason I am overactive here last few days. Ah, good. Then I'm sure it is going to be very much like I've predicted in other threads. You will become less annoying when you have less time to spend here. Hopefully, you will look back at this at some point and realize why people here think of you as they do. In the meantime, I looked. While not a high number, there were 25 members active on this site (meaning they have been on within the last week) who live in Bosnia. Have you contacted any of them to see what is available to you as far as meeting people away from the computer or to find out anything about folks involved in BDSM in the real world? Surprise! You're not the only person who thinks they might like kink in Bosnia.

SocratesNot -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 3:01:52 PM)
quote: Ah, Lucienne, good luck with that. Reasonable questions seem to wash off the OP like raindrops off a teflon umbrella. Lucienne, I am going to respond thoroughly to your questions. Just be patient, it will take me few minutes to write it.

kiwisub12 -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 3:29:46 PM)
I'm afraid i don't understand what you mean by negative things. A lot of the questions you have raised over the last few days are all hypothetical, and tend to drift towards the realm of fantasy rather than reality. Most of the problems people who are into bdsm have are pretty much the same problems that vanilla people have. All the talk about starving and so on is just ... dust. Its mildy interesting as a fantasy, but really, with relatively normal people, there isn't too much in the way of drama. After all, is a relatively normal person going to actually starve another, especially someone they claim as property. Its hard enough finding a compatible mate without damaging or killing them off by goofy methods such as denial of food. If no-one is discussing these sorts of topics, it's probably because they aren't a huge issue for any one. Read the old threads. Most of them could be found on a vanilla site (if you take out the caning and spanking) - thats because most of the problems people have are pretty universal.

sunshinemiss -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 3:30:14 PM)
THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS: All is suffering (dukkha). Suffering is caused by desire/attachment. If one can eliminate desire/attachment, one can eliminate suffering. The Noble Eight-fold Path can eliminate desire. Extremes of excessive self-indulgence (hedonism) and excessive self-mortification should be avoided. edited for more info.

angelikaJ -> RE: About discussing negative things (5/24/2010 3:32:51 PM)
And again to the OP, while I agree that there is merrit in discussing negative things, I think there should be a balance point in a 'happy' life. Where you are living now has no shortage of volunteer opportunities and you have a way to make a tangible impact upon the world...and you will meet people.

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