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Curious - 3/20/2004 7:30:16 PM

feline

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Ok i'll be the first to bite. *grinz*

i am perplexed by the whole Switch "thing" (for lack of a better term). And i am hoping that perhaps someone can bring me to a better understanding.

i'm curious to know if a Switch looks for another Switch for long term?

i don't quite understand how one can go back and forth from Dom to sub. i mean if your partner is submissive and you just happen to feel in a submissive mood (?) what then?

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RE: Curious - 3/20/2004 9:16:17 PM

EStrict

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quote:

i'm curious to know if a Switch looks for another Switch for long term?

I know many that switch that are very *picky* on who they switch with. They will not be submissive to someone they can/do dominate. I do not consider myself a switch, though I did top for several years. I know I personally could never submit to someone who would submit or even bottom. In the back of my mind I would always feel I could *turn the tables* so to speak, and in feeling that, I could never fully give in totally.

Like I said though, I don't call myself a switch, so my opinion may not count to you :)

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RE: Curious - 3/21/2004 12:34:14 PM

feline

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All opinions have value.

feline

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RE: Curious - 3/21/2004 8:50:15 PM

TexFire316

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Joined: 3/18/2004
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hello feline,

yes it would be simpler for a switch to find another switch, but, it doesnt always work that way. often a switch will settle for submitting to a dominate, others need thatsubmissive at times to be below him/her. others, like myself will sub for some, and dominate others, depending on that individual. Their personal preferences will usually depend on how they wereaught, and their life experiences. I am dominate in my outside life (careers) and it is natural for me. subbing to a Domme is also a definate turnon.
winks*
i hope i didnt add too much to your confusion

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RE: Curious - 3/21/2004 9:32:33 PM

MistressKiss

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I don't know that I could play with a true switch as a permanent lifestyle partner. I think I would end up second guessing too much (laughs)!!

I don't look for a label as much as I look for the right chemistry - and granted, I'm new at this so my play as a Dominant within the lifestyle is limited at this time - intentionally. I have to have my own head straight before I start looking for a long-term partner.

Switches have it good in that they can play with either side. Also, I have mentioned in a previous post that I don't usually find myself wanting to dominate at the same time as my play partner. So far, it has just sort of worked out that we had opposite moods each time.

There is always negotiation when there is any "conflict" in roles. Just talk and communicate and .... grins.... be willing to take turns.

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RE: Curious - 3/22/2004 4:02:20 PM

SherriA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: feline

i'm curious to know if a Switch looks for another Switch for long term?

I don't know about anyone else, but I don't much care what orientation a ltr partner is. That's one of the benefits of being switchable, I think. As long as the *person* is right, I can pretty much just be myself, based on the energy in the relationship.

There are few people I can switch with anyway. It's rare that I have both top and bottom energy with a single individual. When I do, it's great, but it's not common. I simply have multiple partners, so that I have all sorts of options to make sure that my needs/wants are met.

quote:

ORIGINAL: feline
i don't quite understand how one can go back and forth from Dom to sub. i mean if your partner is submissive and you just happen to feel in a submissive mood (?) what then?

There are lots of options for that kind of scenario. One of the most common ones is, as I mentioned, multiple partners. Need your submissive itch scratched? No problem, set something up with one of your dominant play partners. Feeling particularly sadistic? Great, contact your friend the masochist. Having a partner that understands that you have multiple and complex needs is an important part of it, of course.

-- Sherri

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RE: Curious - 3/29/2004 7:01:50 AM

londonswitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: feline

Ok i'll be the first to bite. *grinz*

i am perplexed by the whole Switch "thing" (for lack of a better term). And i am hoping that perhaps someone can bring me to a better understanding.

i'm curious to know if a Switch looks for another Switch for long term?

i don't quite understand how one can go back and forth from Dom to sub. i mean if your partner is submissive and you just happen to feel in a submissive mood (?) what then?

Then the one whose need is greatest or debt would be the most fun to demand back later will get the gift that time....

I've never shopped for someone, but have been remarkably lucky to end up with another switch.

I am also perplexed by the whole switch thing though! Even the term is troublesome. It feels more like a slide than a switch from where I am. I do know it suits: I like the range it offers. Oh dear, I sound like Larry Olivier now.

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