RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable?

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 3:08:46 PM

ArtCatDom

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quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook

Why is it that if I email someone and I'm only asking to get to know one another and start 'friend'ships does no one respond? Why is it that a friendship MUST include play or a relationship?

Is this normal or just happening for the moment? Do other people experience this? Have you ever met 'friends' and starting hanging out and have fun as just 'friends'?

I have tried contacting others in the area I am moving to because I want to be back home with my family. I also would like a connection within the bdsm community.

Why is trying to make friends so undesirable?

Eh, a lot of people aren't here for that reason. I would try focusing on people whose profiles indicate they are also seeking "Friends Only".

I've made a number of friends on here, sub and Dom/me. Honestly, a little patience is probably what is most required in trying to just find friends.

Also, I would note most people have an odd thing where they considering having relationships within their circle of friends to be "weird" or "incestual". Personally, most people I have become involved with in my life have been my friends first. I find it a lot easier to be intimate with people that I already have some level of intimacy with.

*meow*

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 3:20:31 PM

ArtCatDom

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quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion
are you in Pompano or is this the area you are moving to?

I'm moving back to New England April 19th and hoping to connect with other ppl in the bdsm community there for friendships with no expectations otherwise. If more developed then it would happen naturally but I've been honest in my emails about the friendship part. I also comment on any forum posts if I've seen them around.

I don't understand why ppl in the community would not want to be friends. Like in the Gay/Lesbian community, they stand strong together (well for the most part, lol). I would love to have friends to hang out with who understand my lifestyle and not always have to hide during a conversation and laughter can sure be fun!

I'm moving North of Boston and for Boston being such a large city, I'm so surprized that their aren't more ppl online or profiles from the area. Also I have NO IDEA the best way to find Munches or Groups in the area and have yet to research Yahoo Bdsm Groups etc. I know they gotta be SOMEWHERE, LoL!!!

There's a Boston munch:
Boston - Second Tuesday (6:30 PM to 9:30 PM), fourth Wednesday (6:30 PM to 9:30 PM), and occasional Saturdays (12:00 PM to 4:00 PM) of each month, in the food court of the CambridgeSide Galleria Mall, just off of Interstate 93 in Cambridge, MA. This munch is NEVER cancelled unless the mall is closed. Send e-mail to SubStephen AT aol.com for more details.

Bound for Pleasure is a NE group and they have a Yahoo mailing list and munches as well:
http://www.bfp.com/

The New England Dungeon Society could be of assistance to you as well:
http://www.ne-ds.org/home.htm

That should get you started. :)

*meow*

*meow*

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 4:08:47 PM

MasterCoyote

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Joined: 4/17/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook

Why is it that if I email someone and I'm only asking to get to know one another and start 'friend'ships does no one respond? Why is it that a friendship MUST include play or a relationship?

I seem to have run into that as well. Since this type of play involves (or should involve) a lot of trust, I think it's best to get to know someone before pushing for that.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 4:37:16 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
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For me it is not undesirable, just impractical.

I get some "let's be friends, wanna chat?" type emails. I give a standard no thanks. I don't have the desire to invest time and energy into an online friendship (or even relationship), unless it happens to naturally evolve. It is just a time management issue for me -- I rarely even use IM programs and so forth any more because it is easy for me to get trapped or eagerly overinvolved in a conversation.

There are occassions when an online casual friendship forms because I just click with someone that also posts to the same message boards or email group over time and I find myself repeatedly involved in off-list coversations. Those can turn into a basis for more conversations.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 4:50:05 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
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From: West Palm Beach, FL
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try this link

http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgsmass.html

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 5:59:24 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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1. Friendships are the base of ALL my close relationships.

2. It takes time to build a friendship as some degree of trust is required.

3. I start with making an aquaintance. (Ofter on the boards).

4. I never mail some one and ask to be friends. I mail them about a post or their profile uusllllt to congratulate them or ask for further details (if it is a post) and may offer to continue the dialoge privately if they like.

5. I have some awsome (I do not use that lightly) with a diversity of people here... subs, slaves, Doms, Dommes, Masters, Mistresses. Some have even started off at war with me. The commonality is RESPECT.. These are all cyber friends who I believe if I were able to meet them face to face and interact (Not Play), would become friends in a physical bases...

6. Some one contacts me with a friendly comment they WILL get a positive reply........

Does this help the OP??? Who knows I just offer it for what it is.. A Commentary what I do and mayhaps there is the odd pearl of wisdom there..

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 7:37:52 PM

acctonthelook

Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
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UPDATE:

Just WoW is all I can say! No one will believe this...but then again just maybe!

I went to my email and saw BULK mail. Hmmm I said, and checked. OMG. There were 7 pages of emails all the way back to March!!!!!!!

It took me from like 2:30 pm to 10:30 just to respond, weed and such. I'm now so tired from typing and my carpul tunnel is KILLING ME!

Ahhh...I guess I am loved or liked at least! <<Blushing >>

Thanks to everyone for all the support! It's so nice to know people do care!

Special Thanks to those who offered me the Boston links I will check them out, but not tonight. I'M TIRED NOW. Whewww!!!!!!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook
Why is it that if I email someone and I'm only asking to get to know one another and start 'friend'ships does no one respond?

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 7:55:32 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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This happened to me too before I discovered Bulk Mail..... But I'm just a Grizzly with grey/white and silver hair with some red in the beard.. What's your excuse????????

< Message edited by IronBear -- 4/9/2006 7:56:57 PM >

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 8:01:41 PM

acctonthelook

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Being born a tow-head Blonde...Now it's darker and I color it, but MAN IT'S STILL IN MY GENE'S....LOL

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/9/2006 9:27:48 PM

cloudboy

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I guess I'm glad you are not hard line about this.

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/10/2006 12:49:44 AM

swtnsparkling

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Email me when you get moved back. Im just west of boston know quite a few people around here. been to the boston munch Art linked you to. I havent been out to much of late would be nice to meet a new friend.

BTW if you email SubStephen at aol.com make sure your subject line says Munches so he'll know

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 4/10/2006 12:50:51 AM >

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/10/2006 8:09:36 AM

mydestiny2043

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Joined: 10/15/2005
From: Southern California
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I call them left over"Blonde Moments"...

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You decide who stays,and who goes !!!!

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RE: "Friend"ships-What's so undesirable? - 4/10/2006 11:12:59 AM

bignipples2share

Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
However, in my experience this talking turns into personal and kinky questions really fast that appear to be more attempts to get jack off (or jill off) material.

I agree 100% with this. Another one is, the person really has NO intent upon moving, they've just read my profile and see that I'm looking for someone who is local in my area and then start in on the kinky questions. I just tell them, oh great, you're moving here, contact me when you actually are here and moved in.
My main purpose of coming here was not to meet friends, but a partner. I don't expect that to really come to fruition any longer, as I'm considered the 'bad seed' and the likes of me and my kind carry warnings all over this site and others. (tops from the bottom).
When I do make friends, I really have no desire to discuss BDSM topics. I do enjoy these forums though. Even though I already know I have no intention of changing the basis of who I am, I do enjoy learning.

(in reply to truesub4u)