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Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 4:18:42 AM

SubmissiveFox

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Joined: 10/13/2008
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Master has expressed an interest in slapping me hard across the face during sex.

He's never done it before and neither have I. I'm not averse to it though but don't want to go to work with a big black eye or bruised face.

Have any Doms with any experience of this got any advice about how to do this "safely" avoiding serious pain/injury/bruising?

Thanks.

Post #: 1

RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 4:36:45 AM

MsLadySue

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I do not administer face slapping but I did a google search and found this link which might answer some of your questions.

http://www.frugaldomme.com/dangers/danger10.htm

< Message edited by MsLadySue -- 5/27/2010 4:37:18 AM >

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RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 4:52:40 AM

SubmissiveFox

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Wow! Thanks Ms Lady Sue - that is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you so much - that is perfect. Really really useful!!!!

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RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 5:02:21 AM

MsLadySue

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Glad I could help. Here is another site that usually has good info for all kinds of things.

http://www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html

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RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 5:08:33 AM

Kana

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Smart move asking before doing.
Face slapping is one of those things that can be both incredibly erotic and dangerous.
Here is my base technique.
I will cradle her cheek and usually the back of her neck in one hand. This is to keep her neck stable and prevent any whip lash injuries.I will run my other hand against the opposite cheek, slowly building her up through touch.
Usually there's lots of whispering going on, sometimes soft snuggly comments, but other times prophecies regarding what she is going to be undergoing in a few minutes.
Then I start slapping, open hand lightly. Start light. Mix with carresses. Drop her like a stone into subspace.Build a rhythm.
I like to balance things out so I slap each cheek and equal number of times. Keep your fingers loose and somewhat flexible and curve them in the shape of her face. Then I build.
The key is keep the neck immobilized-none of that wild movie slapping where the head snaps around-that is muy dangerous territory there
Now I took years of open hand combat and did ring fighting as well, so I am pretty versed in how to use my hands to hurt people. As such, I have slapped all sorts of ways, open hand, backhand, fingers, palms and I have slapped hard. I don't recommend others going to the depth that I do unless they know what they are doing.
That warning aside, face slapping is lots and lots of fun.

3 sidebar comments.
-Before I slap anyone, I always ask if they have an issue with it. Lots and lots of people have suffered childhood trauma dealing with face slapping-it can be an act that simply freezes an otherwise awesome submissive.
-This shouldn't have to be mentioned, but this is the net, so make sure she doesn't bruise easily BEFORE you start slapping. You don't want to send her into work manana looking like she fights MMA on her off days.
-Be sure to take off any rings and such before doing open hand strikes

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RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 5:14:13 AM

LittleBroken

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Using an open hand rather than a fist for a start.
Aiming for the jaw line rather than the face it's self.
As any Martial artist will say..use control...temper and control the force behind the blow so that he delivers maximum noise but limited impact.
A full blooded back handed slap will leave you with split lips, a bloody nose, a colorful array of brusies and your Master/Dom with questions to answer from your local law enforcers.

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RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 5:30:10 AM

SubmissiveFox

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Thanks kana and little broken.

From what you say and from reading Lady Sue's link it sounds like two key things are:
1. hold head or other cheek with other hand for stability and aim control;
2. contact should be with open hand fingers rather than palm or back of hand

where is best place to aim? sounds like either lower jaw or the back part of the cheek between the cheekbone and jaw bone? is that fair?

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RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 5:36:36 AM

divi

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I love when he grabs my hair tight and slaps me open handed along my cheek and jawbone... yum

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RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 6:10:16 AM

porcelaine

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SubmissiveFox,

quote:

Have any Doms with any experience of this got any advice about how to do this "safely" avoiding serious pain/injury/bruising?

Look for information on rough body play. A good source will cover varying hand positions and areas of sensitivity throughout the body. They discuss face slapping and reference other areas from chest to soles. Here's a group you may be interested in perusing:

Rough Body Play

There's a thread about the subject at present and previous entries you can explore. Best of luck.

~porcelaine

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RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 7:00:52 AM

Missokyst

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You might also want to be prepared for your response. Mine was to completely shut down and we never got over that as a couple. The next person that tried that ended up with a black eye.

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Post #: 10

RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 7:27:28 AM

SubmissiveFox

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>>>Mine was to completely shut down and we never got over that as a couple.

Missokyst - you're making me worry now.

Would you mind sharing more about this? Was the face slapping planned in your relationship or not? How often did you do it?

What was it about it that made you "completely shut down" and why do you think you were never able to get over it?

Why do you think your partner wanted to do it?

It's not something of great appeal to me personally but I'm not horrified by it & vaguely curious. But he is v. keen. But I wouldn't want to do it if it would destroy the relationship or give me a traumatic emotional reaction. Maybe the solution is to start very softly and see how it goes. . . ?

< Message edited by SubmissiveFox -- 5/27/2010 7:29:01 AM >

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RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 7:56:20 AM

sirsholly

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I find it incredibly erotic. He always slaps lower...more on the jaw as opposed to near the eye. I generally see it coming so i know to have my mouth closed, and he is careful about that as well.

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RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 8:01:07 AM

LittleBroken

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For me, many a Dom I knew where fairly hard core.

I will say that my pain tolerance grew as the session heated up.
If he jumped straight into hard face slapping, cold and straight off the bat the bastard would have had to make sure I was secured with cuffs and stout rope.
If the session was heated and fully adrenalized I could cope with a lot more pain to the point of it not really registering as pain but more as a stimulant.
The down side was waking in the morning when your body had stiffened and you had a crop of new bruises from toes to crown and you needed a pack of frozen peas held to your nethers.

What I'm saying is..face slapping is NOT a warm up activity but something best left until things get a bit frantic.

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Post #: 13

RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 8:03:36 AM

xXsoumisXx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

You might also want to be prepared for your response. Mine was to completely shut down and we never got over that as a couple. The next person that tried that ended up with a black eye.

for me it is instant anger and tears, and i do not know why. i did not know this before hand either. I was never slapped as a child don't have any bad associations, it just did not work for me.

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Post #: 14

RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 8:09:33 AM

SubmissiveFox

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Genuine thanks to everyone for your replies - this is extremely helpful!!! I had no idea how useful it would be. So glad I asked!!!

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Post #: 15

RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 8:11:41 AM

laurell3

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if you're going to hit the jaw at all, make sure that you are stabilizing the head, you can really mess someone up with repeated impact. I don't know that it should hurt alot, but slapping someone in the face or spitting on them has some serious automatic emotional responses in most people. It's something you should really make sure they are ok with and know that it doesn't mean you really dislike them or are angry before you do it.

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RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 8:51:06 AM

Aileen1968

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Face slaps are yummy especially when you see stars afterwards...

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RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 9:10:05 AM

porcelaine

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SubmissiveFox,

quote:

Would you mind sharing more about this? Was the face slapping planned in your relationship or not? How often did you do it?

There was never a discussion beforehand when this has happened. However, my response was very similar to hers. It put me in a very negative head space. The change was instantaneous. I would go from high to low. I felt overcome with a feeling that's difficult to articulate. But it was definitely an emotional knock down. I like degradation but slapping degraded me in a manner I never found appealing.

quote:

What was it about it that made you "completely shut down" and why do you think you were never able to get over it?

It was a huge blow to my ego. A silencing of sorts that made me withdraw afterward. It took me a long time to move past that without going to a bad place. I never had a negative reference point. No childhood or partnership experiences that would explain the associations. I simply had a hard time swallowing it.

quote:

Why do you think your partner wanted to do it?

For many of the reasons stated. It humiliated me, brought me to heel, and always had an immediate change on my countenance. I don't believe I was expected to enjoy it. The sufferance it caused was more appealing in my opinion.

Unlike some I never responded. I wouldn't dream of striking back.

~porcelaine

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Post #: 18

RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 9:18:30 AM

SubmissiveFox

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thanks for sharing Porcelain.

Can I also ask for anyone who has done this from a safety/bruising/pain minimising point of view - what is the best way for the sub to receive the slap?

Eg. relax face/close mouth tightly/try to tense muscles & clench teeth together ????

Any thoughts on this either?

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Post #: 19

RE: Face Slapping Help? - 5/27/2010 9:34:23 AM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue

I do not administer face slapping but I did a google search and found this link which might answer some of your questions.

http://www.frugaldomme.com/dangers/danger10.htm

Domina did a great job on that article and she is a fearsome player so read that article with care. I didn't bother with the Steel Door one because the woman who runs it is a bit nutty.

Here is the thing many don't get, forget the physical intensity, look at the emotional aspect of it. Someone already mentioned it shut them down emotionally, this is serious play. For many, Aileen aside, you don't even need to do anything but raise your hand as if to hit and many will get a huge emotional reaction just from that. I don't hit as hard as Aileen speaks of and yet I get HUGE reactions from it because it is very much not the physicality of hitting the face but the whole taboo bit about it. I tend to just tap the face with my fingers and I get as much reaction as I would with a hard hit of a cane.

Same goes for breath play, I don't tend to do it much but I always do it. I don't wrap my fingers around their necks and squeeze till they spasm and collapse anymore, doing that once was enough for me. Placing your hands around a woman's neck without any pressure is intense enough to cause those with issues to react strongly, even to the point of freaking out.

Which brings me to what are called "emotional landmines", hidden psychological triggers from past issues or whatever that even the person who has them doesn't know about them. I once took my belt off and did the loop thing where you pull and they slap together to make a loud noise. Women went almost catatonic on me because her daddy did that before beating her. OOPS!

Here is where newbies fuck up. She got all pissed at me but that anger was because of her dad. I then got all pissed at her for getting pissed at me. BIG FIGHT.

The reality is it wasn't anyone's fault and if I had been more experienced, I would have taken her anger and just held her and let her rant. If she had a LOT more expereience, cause its HARD when it is YOUR emotional issue that just blew up, to say "what the fuck was THAT about" and laugh it off, or cry or whatever without turning that reaction into blame.

SO, start slow, start softly, and watch for reactions because it is very edgy stuff for a lot of people.

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Post #: 20

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