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Thoughtful ideas for one's Domme - 5/28/2010 6:39:50 PM

lurch999

Posts: 52
Joined: 5/14/2010
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What is something nice to do for a Domme? It doesn't have to be a gift, just a nice gesture or something. Sometimes i feel like i only do nice things when ordered to and i'd like to be more spontaneous about it.

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RE: Thoughtful ideas for one's Domme - 5/29/2010 12:09:05 AM

myotherself

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From: The cold bit of the UK
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this is where you get to be smart and observant. Listen to what she says, figure out WHY she asks you to do stuff and start pre-empting the request. Does she always come in after work and ask you to make a coffee for her? Have one ready!

Does she like having her feet massaged? Offer to do it for her. Do her ironing without having to be asked. Run her a lovely hot bath with her favourite oil, and make sure the towels are warmed. Just do the things that make her life easier without having to be asked.

Also, don't forget she is a woman. Pay her compliments - tell her she looks beautiful, that her hair is lovely....you get the drift.

But most of all be proactive, not reactive.

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RE: Thoughtful ideas for one's Domme - 5/29/2010 5:01:08 AM

LadyAngelika

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Damn bunny, I told him the same thing two days ago here: http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3227030

Maybe he'll listen to a sub more than he will a Domme ;-)

- LA

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RE: Thoughtful ideas for one's Domme - 5/29/2010 5:14:41 AM

myotherself

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hehehe LA - I'm not holding my breath!

Why is it that some people see a D/s or M/s relationship as all D/M/s and ignore the 'relationship' bit?

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RE: Thoughtful ideas for one's Domme - 5/29/2010 5:19:56 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

hehehe LA - I'm not holding my breath!

Why is it that some people see a D/s or M/s relationship as all D/M/s and ignore the 'relationship' bit?

Well I figure if he has a Domme (which I'm doubting more and more actually), he's not listening to her. What kind of D/s relationship can be if he's fundamentally ignoring her? I know there are degrees of obedience and to each their own, but come on, these are the basics!

- LA

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RE: Thoughtful ideas for one's Domme - 5/29/2010 5:22:34 AM

myotherself

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thing is, it's the kind of thing you'd do in ANY relationship!

I suspect a great deal of inexperience in matters of life and love on the OP's part.

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RE: Thoughtful ideas for one's Domme - 5/29/2010 6:11:28 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

thing is, it's the kind of thing you'd do in ANY relationship!

I suspect a great deal of inexperience in matters of life and love on the OP's part.

That's actually a very fine observation, bunny!

- LA

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RE: Thoughtful ideas for one's Domme - 5/29/2010 7:11:52 AM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lurch999
i'd like to be more spontaneous about it.

Asking an internet community isn't being spontaneous.

I don't know what she likes, what she wants, how she will respond. That has to come from you.

(in reply to lurch999)

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RE: Thoughtful ideas for one's Domme - 5/29/2010 11:30:33 AM

kiwisub12

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My first question would be - Does she want you to be more spontaneous?

And if she does - do some thinking!
Keep her favourite chocolate and cookies in the house; Clean the house ; Kiss her first thing in the morning, and last thing at night ; If the two of you are living together - and have split the chores, do some of hers without being asked ; fold the laundry and put it away - basically anything that means she has less to do around the house.

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 5/29/2010 11:31:02 AM >

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RE: Thoughtful ideas for one's Domme - 6/2/2010 5:25:57 PM

kaliworshipper

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

My first question would be - Does she want you to be more spontaneous?

That seems to me the key consideration. Just as each individual person is unique, so it follows that no dominant lady is interchangeable with any other. Some will want matters to be more programmed/structured, others will prefer they be relatively free-form. Even in the context of those generalizations, mood varies...so, your structure-preferring dominant lady may at times seemingly "go against the grain" by impulsively doing or demanding something unexpected. That's just human stuff and--unnecessary to say--Her right.

So it seems to me that in learning Her ways, not only is it a good idea to look for patterns, but also to always keep in mind that that is all they are--patterns or generalizations. The very best and most adoring submissive person is going to be that one who is always following Her feelings and listening for the "subtext" that is expressed in body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. It is all part of the worship of Her.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

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