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Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 4:26:11 PM

LadyCimarron

Posts: 625
Joined: 12/29/2009
Status: offline

On the "Submissive as Master" thread one of the posters made the following observation

>>>>It's not about the justification of anyone's existence. It's about fun.<<<<<

I began wondering if he was on to something. In all of our endeavors to live this lifestyle and make it a "real" part of our lives are we forgetting how to have fun? I mean I have nothing against finding deep philosophical meaning in all of this, but in doing that are we forgetting that we live this life this voluntarily and it should be a completely enjoyable experience to us? Are we so caught up in being "real" that we are forgetting to enjoy and have fun in WIITWD?

Some time ago, I got involved with a group of BDSM'ers who were into everything being "real" and if you were not doing it their way, then you were NOT "real".... and somehow less than them. I began jumping through hoops and changing everything I wanted and enjoyed just to fit their definition of "real." I didn't realize until later that I was miserable. (And come to think of it so were they.) All the fun had gone out of WIITWD. Thankfully I came to my senses and parted ways with that group. But it leaves me wondering......

Are we so caught up in finding "deeper meanings" and being "real" that we are forgetting to just have fun?

Post #: 1

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 4:32:56 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

That's part of the beauty of being a Dom. I can do what I want, and my desires and my sub's limits and desires are the only thing. If some Dom Handbook tells me I have to do it some certain way, I don't care.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

Post #: 2

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 4:39:07 PM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

i think people forget quite often to have fun with D/s. After all, my role as a slave (when i'm owned again) is for my Owner's fun and amusement - and his enjoyment of me, and my fulfillment as a result.

i often wonder about the D/s-is-so-serious-and-if-she's-not-suffering-24/7-it's-not-real types. i have fun as a slave, while staying respectful of course - but i see it as part of my service to make my Owner laugh, and have fun with me, and enjoy me in a silly girly way. And i love to see him laugh and smile.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

Post #: 3

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 4:43:03 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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LadyCimarron,

quote:

Are we so caught up in finding "deeper meanings" and being "real" that we are forgetting to just have fun?

I've watched the real game being played out with lots of miserable participants. I'm uncertain if it's a need for acceptance, validation, or the errant belief that what is real is only determined by x, y, z. Whatever the case it's maddening and life is too short for that stuff. I appreciate the intellectual and we can exchange philosophies until the cow comes home. But that isn't my motivation for participation. I'm looking for the prize.

I keep it simple. Give me someone I can share this with. We laugh, cry, love, and experience it all as one. Right and wrong take on a different meaning and we learn to adhere to the definitions that are best suited for two not all.

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

Post #: 4

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 4:45:55 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

As one dominant man in my life often says, “If it isn't fun we are doing it wrong.”

Self-analysis is my default state of mind, but that doesn't preclude or inhibit my ability to have a great deal of fun

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

Post #: 5

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 4:54:43 PM

SocratesNot

Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline

I will say the following.
As long as you don't lie yourself or others you are not fake.
So many people are accused of being fake because they don't adhere to one true way.
They are not fake in any way. As I stated in other thread - glory to them. Glory to all those people who are accused of being fake.
Type and intensity of play, as well as the way in which it is played, have nothing to do with authenticity.

Also, the sickest people in the entire WIITWD are ideologists, purists and one-true-wayists.

Finnally,
we all just wanna have fun (not just girls as Cindy Lauper said)

.

< Message edited by SocratesNot -- 5/30/2010 5:08:34 PM >

_____________________________

Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. - Aristotle
Plato is my friend, but truth is a better friend. - Aristotle

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 6

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 5:05:33 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

Well it isn't just about fun for me, it's about overall fulfillment, which includes fun. I enjoy experiencing the full gamut - deep thoughts and connections all the way to just goofy silliness. And we do enjoy all of it.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

Post #: 7

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 5:07:08 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

I am MOST definitely NOT forgetting to have fun, but I do agree there are many people that I feel forget how to just be and let others be and yes even laugh.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

Post #: 8

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 5:11:21 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

Well, I'm certainly having fun (and joy, and happiness, and fulfillment, and <insert other positive word here>). I hope others are too.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

Post #: 9

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 5:19:33 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I was very fakely blowing raspberries on some one's bruises this morning and smacking her ass with the tv remote which curves perfectly around her ass while we were both giggling our asses off.

As my great mentor says...."it doesn't suck"!

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 10

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 5:30:38 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

My personal slogan for this is, "If it wasn't fun, I wouldn't be doing it anymore".

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 11

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 5:48:06 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Hedonism is important. Fulfillment is important.

I think people forget about balance, and forget to honor ALL parts of who they are- the profane and the profound, the whimsical and the solemn.

And it's pretty awesome when you can combine them :)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 12

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 6:34:05 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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I've always enjoyed it. All this crapola about a life unexamined not being worthwhile means squat to me. I know me in and out. I know my life, my patterns and my experience.. and ONLY when I discovered that this stuff I have done all my life turned out to be perverted, did I stop to wonder why I do this. Until I realized that sex is only a part of who I am and that it does not define me, did I feel comfy being me again.

I don't need to examine the reasons for A, B, or C if it makes me happy. And this stuff makes me happy! Joyous! Exhuberant! Without even thinking about it I can tell you why, I am a twisted, perverted, sensual, horny, masochistic, female with control issues who likes men with power over me.

It didn't take much thought to recognize that.

(in reply to LadyCimarron)

Post #: 13

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 7:01:20 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

My feeling is, if I don't come away from this saying, Dang! That was great and I can't wait to do it again!then it's time to move on.

This is supposed to enhance our lives, not drag them down.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 14

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 7:04:02 PM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

cant you say this about most things though.

i mean my horse ought to be fun but there are times when he really bloody isnt. he bucks me off, im either covered in mud and muck or flies, he treads on my toes and last month managed to injure himself so all my work getting him fit went down the pan.

the point im making is that in all aspects of life and relationships theres effort and work if it actually means anything to you at all. the fun and happy times are those contrasting moments when you beam from ear to ear and say 'YO lifes so damn good!'

with regard to this i had to put the work in because i wanted to be happy and have fun. and i am, thanks

in one particular relationship when things were just hard work i did say to my M, - this is supposed to be fun - he blinked a bit

and i do believe the penny dropped because he did try to change things about.

so i agree, we are here to have fun, but for those looking for slightly more than slap and tickle the hedonistic pursuit of fun only is as that poster quite rightly said, transient and temporary (or words to that effect) - im not looking for transient and temporary, im not expecting to have fun all the time, but that is the premis, yes, otherwise as LP said, who'd stick around if it wasnt.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 15

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 7:58:10 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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I cannot deny it is has been a hedonistic, exceptionally passionate and fun life. But, it was also dull, tedious, repetitive, at time tough path to follow. But.. isn't that life? Do nillas sit around wondering why they are nilla? Do people really stress about why they like their nipples to be licked, or bitten? Or.. do they live, finding their way about and getting what they can from it?
My life is beyond sexual gratification. And even though I happen to be submissive I regard that as a personality bent, no different if I enjoyed being any other thing. I know me. The only thing I have examined was me, AFTER I lived it. If I spent any time looking at it during I might never have married, had children, went to school while I was working, or fell in love and lost that love. Life is for living. If you are really lucky you can look back at the good times and the bad times and think.. yeah.. I did ok.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

so i agree, we are here to have fun, but for those looking for slightly more than slap and tickle the hedonistic pursuit of fun only is as that poster quite rightly said, transient and temporary (or words to that effect) - im not looking for transient and temporary, im not expecting to have fun all the time, but that is the premis, yes, otherwise as LP said, who'd stick around if it wasnt.

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 16

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 8:05:53 PM

noor

Posts: 28
Joined: 1/21/2007
Status: offline

i generally don't do things that aren't fun. i mean, sometimes it's not all rainbows and sunshine (like when i'm fighting to make a deadline for work), but i've learned that i'm the one who has to get up in the morning and live my own life, so i try to avoid ending up in positions that aren't fulfilling for me - and i'm a happy kinda girl, so fulfilling usually involves fun on some level or another. this colors my approach to everything, including my relationships and sex life.

sometimes i have to remind myself of this when i get caught up in some argument or something, especially when it's on a message board about wiitwd - there are really better things to get my blood pressure up over, to be honest. (i'm always telling master this as well when he yells in traffic.) i'm here to have fun and to discuss wiitwd with like-minded people because i enjoy talking about different issues. not to lose sleep over some drama. (same for offline kink group involvement, and involvement in any other group or activity.)

it took me a hell of a long time and a lot of not-fun years to get to this point, though.

_____________________________

all my life i have been on the verge of either a breakdown or a breakthrough.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 17

RE: Are We Having Fun - 5/30/2010 8:12:06 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

while i do feel good doses of fun are important in life, fun has nothing to do with my pursuit of this way of life. for me this is about that sense of fulfillment and peace you get when you are following your correct path, when you've discovered your life's purpose and are actively living out that purpose. and because it is all about life, sure there is going to be some fun in there, but that is just not the motivator or driving force behind all this.

(in reply to noor)

Post #: 18

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