A Collarme Love Story (Full Version)

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angelikaJ -> A Collarme Love Story (6/1/2010 9:48:15 AM)

I joined here nearly 3 years ago in mid-June of 07.

I had the usual experience for many women on the other side and being quite naive, well, it took me awhile to figure out that my experience wasn't unique.
*laughs at self*

I handled the mail a bit differently than is recommended and didn't report, block or delete anyone.

I also didn't respond in ways that kept many of the players engaged, more out of awkwardness than anything else.

On this side, I received a warm welcome and became a fairly regular poster.

My posting slowed down considerably sometime after January last year (09) when I met Him, first via cmails and then in person.

As we became acquainted I began to understand that while I had a good intuitive sense of D/s relationships I really didn't KNOW ... well, anything really.

I have made so many mistakes and He has been so patient.

Most of the veteran posters are familiar with the following type of post:
sub meets perfect Dom (or Dom meets perfect sub) and everything is so wonderful, even the earth shifts on it's axis... but often a few weeks or months later, when the next chapter is finally written the Dom or sub are suddenly revealed to either have had some dreadful secret or are simply just flawed human beings.

As for us...
This is neither a marathon nor a sprint.

I am in awe of the process and many of you will find it dull.
I will not be insulted if you are bored to tears.

Whether it is washing a wall or cleaning a window, what was acceptable last year, doesn't meet this year's standards and most of the time I don't have to be told. I simply know... all while not letting the perfect becoming the enemy of the good.

What moves me the most is that last year when we conversed about what it meant to be His, it was no less real or true then, but it has so much more depth of meaning now.

Everything is transient.
I have struggled with that knowledge for a long time.
There is joy in that but also sorrow for the inevitable ending... sometime.
But always within the struggle I embrace the gift.

I am grateful to CollarMe for providing the venue and the Mods for keeping the grounds picked up and tidy.
I am grateful to the posters who have given me a warm reception and also the ones who have challenged me sometimes.
[sm=cute.gif]
I am so appreciative to those who have reached across to the other side in personal cmails and to those who call me friend. [sm=flowers.gif]

And I am honored that I am worthy of being His.

So, for those who insist that CM is full of nothing but fakes, scammers, wannabes and losers...
I really don't understand what it was that I must have been doing wrong all these years.
[8D]


angelikaJ
a perfectly imperfect sub
who found a perfectly wonderful Dom
(after getting to know many of the great people on the boards here)
[:)]




VirginPotty -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/1/2010 10:18:48 AM)

Soooooo, who is HE, His Angel?
(Can't be my Angel anymore)[&o]




sirsholly -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/1/2010 10:26:36 AM)

Angelika...i have tears running down my face from the happiness in your post.

You are such a wonderful lady and deserve the best life has for you!!!




VirginPotty -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/1/2010 11:41:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Angelika...i have tears running down my face from the happiness in your post.



You sure you didn't slam your finger in the door again?[8|]




sunshinemiss -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/1/2010 4:32:01 PM)

Angelika,
It is a pleasure to read what you've written. Thank you for sharing it.
Best,
sunshine




xxblushesxx -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/1/2010 4:56:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Angelika...i have tears running down my face from the happiness in your post.



You sure you didn't slam your finger in the door again?[8|]


Nah, she's probably trying to choke down some of that meatloaf...[:-][:'(]

Congrats Angelica!! What a beautiful story!




lronitulstahp -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/1/2010 5:15:48 PM)

angelika....if anyone deserves a romantic happily ever after, it's you. i love you for being so full of light and sweetness for everyone. What an intelligent and special person He must be to have seen all that beauty in you.....




Level -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/1/2010 7:58:20 PM)

*hugsssssssssssssssssss and smooches J*

I am genuinely happy for you, good lady :) The fella is lucky.




lizi -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/1/2010 8:11:56 PM)

What a lovely story, thank you for sharing it angelika. You have always been so helpful and kind to the people here, I wish you both the best  [:)]




angelikaJ -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/2/2010 4:39:03 AM)

Thank you everyone for sharing the warm and heartfelt sentiments.
They mean a lot, moreso because of the posters they are from.

Many people come to CM either looking for any partner or "the One".

I didn't come looking for either, really but I kept an open mind.

In the beginning of our getting to know you stage, we met over lunch and talked and he once asked me:
"What is it that you are looking for?"

And I told him I didn't know.

Back then (funny how just over 13 months can seem so long ago) I was not "relationship material".
I had play partners and there was a long distance possibility that I spoke with on the phone and I was always upfront about that.

He might have thought I could be fun to play with, but I decided I wanted to become relationship material and shared that with him. He shared his concerns which were more than those listed here or the fact that he is very allergic to cats and my having 4.
Despite his misgivings, he gave me a chance.

I had a lot to prove, cats not withstanding.

I have written elsewhere that it is better than perfect; it is real.
Real, of course, is not always easy.
Real can mean hearing and seeing uncomfortable truths.
Real can mean hard work and getting one's hands dirty.

In my case, hard work is rewarded and the need for such gives him great pleasure.

While I can only definitively speak for me, I believe this relationship has provided both of us with growth opportunities.
(In my case, I don't always appreciate them at the moment the are occurring)

In this relationship, love is nothing passive... it is an action verb.
I am a very lucky girl to be able to love and serve Him.

His





VirginPotty -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/2/2010 6:41:44 AM)

[sm=hearts.gif]




domiguy -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/2/2010 9:42:52 AM)

I am dumbfounded.




Lockit -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/2/2010 10:11:29 AM)

I am so happy for you and your dominant one, AngelikaJ! You keep it real and so often come in with reason and a kindness that is impressive! I have enjoyed your posts and seeing who you are!

Thank you for sharing a bit of the process you have gone through! It's a beautiful picture!




lusciouslips19 -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/2/2010 11:16:59 AM)

Angelica truly deserves all the love she can recieve as she deserves the love and care she gives others returned tenfold.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/2/2010 1:15:32 PM)

HUZZAH!!! You deserve it all and more!!




angelikaJ -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/2/2010 2:46:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I am dumbfounded.


[sm=line.gif]
Congratulations!

(How very sweet of you to say)




laurell3 -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/2/2010 2:47:18 PM)

Grats angelika!




angelikaJ -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/2/2010 3:44:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Soooooo, who is HE, His Angel?
(Can't be my Angel anymore)[&o]



It isn't that he is a secret but I respect his right to privacy and his story is not mine to tell.




Daddysredhead -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/2/2010 4:55:50 PM)

I am so incredibly happy for you, my birthday twin. You are all of the wonderful things that have been written of you. I adore you and wish you and your beloved a future of happiness and love. [:)]

Hugs,
Red




dreamofthemoon -> RE: A Collarme Love Story (6/2/2010 5:42:55 PM)

Congrats, Angelika! [:D]




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