Burning Calories

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Burning Calories - 9/17/2004 9:40:40 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

After much and extensive research Scientists are pleased to give you the approximate Calorie counts involved in enjoying the worlds most enjoyable form of exercise.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With her consent.....................................12 Calories

Without her consent................................2187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:

With both hands.......................................8 Calories

With one hand.........................................12 Calories

With your teeth.....................................485 Calories

Without her consent, in the back seat.......48,288 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection......................................6 Calories

Without an erection................................3315 Calories

POSITIONS:

Missionary..........................................12 Calories

Lying down ......................................69 Calories

Standing up......................................812 Calories

Wheelbarrow.........................................216 Calories

Doggy Style.........................................326 Calories

Italian Chandelier.................................2912 Calories

ORGASMS:

Real...............................................112 Calories

Fake...............................................1315 Calories

POST ORGASM STUFF:

Lying in bed hugging.................................18 Calories

Getting up immediately...............................36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately..816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ROUND STARTED: If you are:

20-29 years..........................................36 Calories

30-39 years..........................................80 Calories

40-49 years.........................................124 Calories

50-59 years........................................1972 Calories

60-69 years........................................7916 Calories

70 and over............................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

Calmly...............................................32 Calories

In a hurry...........................................98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door...............5218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door..............13,521 Calories

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RE: Burning Calories - 9/18/2004 8:15:23 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

So i guess if we take it to the max the best fat burning calories activities are:

finding a 60-69 yr old to have sex with twice while his wife is knocking at the door, while explaining who that is knocking at the door, after you have jumped up right after the second act of sex on the italian chandalier, when trying to get an erection and putting on the condom, after you have removed her clothes in the car without her consent in the back seat.

HMm not something i would want to try lolol. thanks for posting this!

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Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

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RE: Burning Calories - 9/18/2004 8:38:29 AM

smile2cu

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/21/2004
From: Dayton, OH
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theroebabe
So i guess if we take it to the max the best fat burning calories activities are:
finding a 60-69 yr old to have sex with twice while his wife is knocking at the door, while explaining who that is knocking at the door, after you have jumped up right after the second act of sex on the italian chandalier, when trying to get an erection and putting on the condom, after you have removed her clothes in the car without her consent in the back seat.

HMm not something i would want to try lolol. thanks for posting this!

OK, OK, I'll try it.

But first I'll have to install an italian chandelier in the back seat of the car.

~smile~

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RE: Burning Calories - 9/23/2004 5:26:05 PM

Devra

Posts: 42
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re: sub4hire

Oh i enjoyed that hmm maybe that will these lbs off faster *smiles

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RE: Burning Calories - 9/26/2004 5:17:06 AM

velvettears

Posts: 60
Joined: 9/18/2004
Status: offline

lol i really enjoyed reading this and if i didnt have a kid to burn off my calories, i would print this list a few copies and place them in each room, car...whatever lol. Heck i'm gonna do it anyways LOL

(in reply to Devra)

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