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Simone79 -> RE: Submissive with a slightly 'nilla husband--what to do??? (6/21/2010 5:31:32 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MASTERLIX
From what I have read, it seems "Simone79" is basically interested in the BDSM play and not D/s part of BDSM. I may be wrong, but that is what I am reading. This is rather important because while it may be easy to get her husband to participate in some BDSM play stuff, she cannot make him a lifestyle DOMINANT if it isn't in him.
SL
You are slightly on point with your assertion--I don't know if I could do a 24/7 D/s lifestyle due to the profession I'm in. Then again, maybe that's because I truly don't understand all of this just yet. I've been doing a lot of reflecting on myself lately and I know that I want more than just some random kinky fun; there is something deeper to this that I've only recently allowed myself to admit. There have been many times in my life that I recognized it, but I quickly pushed it away without thinking about it further. I'm just now accepting that it's not freakish if I want to hand over control to someone I love and trust. I won't go into the specifics of my self exploration, but I realized that I was at war with myself for some time and finally admitting this has been completely and utterly liberating. But it also scared the crap out of me and has caused some cognitive dissonance, which is why my first post was perhaps a bit high strung.
In response to your main point though, I don't know how much my husband can give me regarding a "lifestyle" and I think I can be okay with that. Knowing that our future doesn't have to be completely vanilla though is reassuring and exciting. Then again, during our talk this weekend he said something to the effect of maybe having to talk to/learn from another dom. I didn't suggest it--he did--so maybe I've completely underestimated him in all of this.
I've taken to heart many of the things others shared here, especially the recommendation that I be more patient and less demanding. It took a swift kick in the pants by total strangers here to make me realize that I perhaps wasn't doing either of those things. It was a bit like being doused in cold water, but definitely needed. [;)]
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