RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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cautiousiasub -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/19/2007 10:05:15 PM)
Imagine where the rest of the hand is. It's late and I can't get to sleep. Someone help! [sm=goodnight.gif]

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/19/2007 10:23:31 PM)
Get a large block of cement, hoist it over your head, and let it fall. Sweet dreams! How do I get off these threads??? edited 'cause I was on the wrong thread...

cautiousiasub -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2007 2:19:59 PM)
Take the cement block that I used to help me sleep last night (worked wonders by the way) and smash the keyboard. I'll send my son over to "water" the monitor, he's really good at that. Then for good measure, drop the computer tower off the roof of the house. If that doesn't work, try looking at pics of Danny DeVito in drag. After that you'll probably gouge your eyes out and won't be able to see the computer anyway. Can I use PMS as an excuse to get away with murder?

nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2007 2:46:17 PM)
Absolutely. Prosecuting attornies fold like tissue paper when facing the PMS defense. Your only risk is if the judge has PMD at your sentencing. Heaven help you then. I don't think there have been any conditions with neat acronyms to describe me. What condition is responsible for tired, grumpy, short tempered mother with teens home for summer? And how should I treat the symptoms?

SirRober -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2007 5:32:28 PM)
To fix the UM problem 2 words... Summer camp. My ring monkey tried to bite me how can I fix that with out removing its teeth or breaking its jaw..... Def. Ring monkey.. a person who works for a chainmaille bussiness.

Jacobthm -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2007 7:09:45 PM)
Feed your ring monkey loads of sugar and don't let him brush his teeth. Keep at it for a while, tooth decay is inevitable. What's the best way to get rid of hangnails?

nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2007 7:44:51 PM)
Use them in suspension play. I can't decide what kind of tattoo to get. Should I go with cute, or shocking?

Jacobthm -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2007 7:56:22 PM)
Shocking! Get one of Mother Theresa in the nude with her pussy right where your belly button is. What's the best place to study my in depth anatomy textbooks while I'm reviewing genatalia?

nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/20/2007 8:04:00 PM)
Good thing mine's an innie, or I guess I'd have to go for the Apostle Peter. Study your anatomy diagrams while standing at the urinals in the men's room of the bus station. That way, you can compare the diagrams to what you see on the men around you, and do an on the spot diagnosis of any problems and defects you may see. How can I decorate my bedroom in an exciting new way, and not spend a lot of money?

wandersalone -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2007 4:31:04 AM)
Visit the public toilets and take photos of people with your mobile phone and print them out to use as wallpaper. You will also get an opportunity to take some photos of the police as they arrest you which should add a focal point for your room collage. What reason can I give for being on CM so much apart from the fact that I lead a very sad and lonely life filled with quiet desperation?

ready4srvce4all -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2007 2:40:18 PM)
Get an image of a leprechaun protruding out of your vagina I want to protrude out of someone's vagina. How do I fit all of myself up in there?

GhitaAmati -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2007 2:59:53 PM)
cut yourself up into smaller peices... im having trouble finding a bone saw, anyone got any hints?

Jacobthm -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2007 3:51:17 PM)
Go rob the local medical school after chloroforming the doctor there. How could I find out if anyone at the local bar is a kink?

nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2007 6:23:38 PM)
Jump up on the bar, and shout "kneel, you lowly wretches, and serve your Master!" Then watch to see which ones kneel..........and which ones throw things. I need a nice polite way to let the neighbor know that although I appreciate her kindness, I would not care to have a dozen jars of her home canned prunes. Any suggestions?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2007 6:39:53 PM)
Eat all the prunes, and refill the jars with the stuff that comes out of you after eating prunes. Then give them back... it's called gift recycling. She should either get the idea, or... you've found a new play parter! snickers How do I convince the people who hold my student loans that they are not entitled to my first born?

nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2007 6:45:03 PM)
Tell them if they harrass you for repayment, you WILL give them said firstborn. Send them a picture, making sure to emphasize the horns and the 666 birthmark. I need some suggestions for sleeping better at night.

Jacobthm -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2007 7:45:15 PM)
Drink 2 litres of Jack Daniel's as quickly as possible, pick up two packs of sleeping pills (the non homeopathic kind). Get in your car and head to the nearest freeway. Any ideas on the best way to prevent hair growing back on my head?

Aileen68 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2007 7:52:29 PM)
Pour lighter fluid on your head and flame away. Hair doesn't like scar tissue. How can I stop my doggie from snoring?

nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2007 8:15:53 PM)
Take the free end of his collar.....pull tighter......tighter.......... How can I stop my husband from snoring?

Jacobthm -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (7/21/2007 8:16:34 PM)
Good idea! I'll get right on it! Wouldn't gasoline work better though? Every time your dog snores grab his nose and blow really hard. How can I go about getting my M.D. without ever having to go to class again?

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