AAkasha
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Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MsMacComb
quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
There are service tops -- or pay-for-play femdoms -- or other cases where a woman must, to some degree, cater to a man's desires and fantasies. The fact that I don't play into the "sure, I love queening, I really want to sit on your face for HOURS, slut!" persona does not mean I am a man-hater or selfish. It means I get my *primary* erotic pleasure from using a man sexually in my terms -- not his. Period. Lots of subs dig this. Lots of them consider it the ideal. Does it mean I ignore his desires? Hell no. But are they at the top of the list? ON MY TERMs, they are -- and that's where I get my own sexual kink satisfied.
When a woman comes along and says "oh yes, I love oral service sluts and men who can lick and worship my pussy and ass for hours" I am betting she has an agenda other than her own pleasure. First, because to say that she wants that "from any man" is way too broad a statement. Come on -- even pros have some standards of who they will allow to touch them, even non-sexually. Second, because no woman, no matter how dominant or how "fetishy" is "on"
24/7 the way submissive men dream them to be. And I have yet to find a woman that embraces and adores the "Please force me to do the things I want to do so badly, like worship your pussy and ass" and views that as endearing or cute. If anything, it is something to be bridled and adjusted, so that he can stop thinking of the fantasy world and start thinking of servicing her on HER terms.
The main point is that most submissive men consider the most important quality in a femdom is her *real* true desire to see him submit - the look in her eyes, the lust she feels for his surrender and the fact that she is enjoying every moment of that. Most sub men will trade the fantasy for this reality once they experience it. These are men that get a real rush *AND* a deep sense of satisfaction from pleasing a woman on her terms (no, I'm not talking about money); men that prefer to feel the passion of deep submission at the time and moment where he is suffering sexually for HER pleasure and he knows this to be true.
Not the opposite, where he is laying under the ass of a woman who could care less and is obviously not interested, or is "allowing" him to lick her armpit as long as he goes out and buys her a new blender at Target.
Akasha
Um yea. The main point is that submissive guys do what they do to get off. There can be a billion variations, but their ultimate goal is to get off. Using generalized and broad statements about how submissive men think or what they prefer that appeal to *your* personal agenda doesn't mean its true, factual or accurate. Its simply your opinion. Presenting your preferances as some form of one truism and all powerful, correct, superior and "new and improved" agenda doesnt change the simple fact that short term or long term 99.9% of all submissive men do what they do in order to eventually get off. Unless you have somehow altered billions of years of evolution. A males one true drive in life beyond food-water-shelter is to reproduce, to ejaculate. If one wishes to pretend otherwise they might as well be getting their "male sexual habits" education from 1950s American television, but then it appears you would already know that.
If a woman wants to boil submission down to the simple fact that "men want to get off" then all they have to do is use that as the carrot and she can get what she wants out of a man's submission. That's why there are loads of women flocking to the internet offering "online domination" and "phone domination" and promising to fulfill that fantasy of "submitting to a real female dominant" -- because they know the man wants to get off. They found the carrot and they dangle it.
I understand that formula.
Unfortunately, my desire to dominate men does not come from a desire to get them off. I am this way because *I* like to get off. I started dominating men for my own pleasure, not theirs. I didn't come into domination as a means to an end; I *do not* see the male orgasm or him "getting off" as the key to the process or the goal. I see it as much more than that, and my partners do also. I don't dangle the carrot. I don't need the carrot.
If your flavor of domination includes the bottomline fact that "men do what they do to do to get off" then I think you are missing out on some of the hottest aspects of male submission - namely the intense erotic rush that comes from sheer surrender and the moment a man honestly sets aside his agenda for the pleasure of his lady.
Fortunately there are many different types of subs out there and, as we all know, more than the population of femdoms knows what to do with. Those that are looking to put their needs for "getting off" aside and find a deeper pleasure will find their ways to the femdoms that have a born lust to see and celebrate a man who has surrendered. Those looking for an armpit to lick will find many women happy to raise their arm. But everything comes with a price.
My man's *surrender* is the price he pays to submit to my pleasure and make me wet. I take care of his needs my own way. I certainly won't cater to a man's agenda, though. It would not make me feel dominant at all. It's not what "feeds" my "inner femdom" If I felt my man was submitting me only to get off, I would feel like a puppet, not a dominant. In fact, many times my subs don't get off at all; I do.
Akasha
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