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LadyPact -> RE: The Image that is Given (6/29/2010 10:22:15 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
That was a thread about flirting, not about views and opinions. I always get private emails saying "right on" and I rarely respond because in most cases my thoughts are "then why the fuck didn't you say so".
Bottom line, for every idiot posting, there are 10 who agree and 3 who privately message the idiot to state their agreement.
The whole reason I still enjoy CM is that the "in crowd" doesn't walk in lockstep, don't do things or see things in the same way, and in GENERAL tends to discuss issues in a fairly adult way. In addition, many have been around enough to have either met in person or have enough history here that when they say "I always/never do X" that we tend to think they aren't full of shit.
In some ways I think CM is the ideal bdsm group. It pulls from a HUGE pool, there is no way for one person/clique/style to dominate it and so diverse views are not only allowed, they are encouraged. Of course, those diverse views ARE limited by certain things but we have people like me that are mostly monogamous, people like KoM who clearly isn't, we have people that can't stand each other like LuckyAlbatross and I (even though I respect her posts 9 out of 10 times), and all the rest. There is enough diversity to prevent intellectual inbreeding.
That can't always be said of real life groups which is why I dislike groups like leather and gor, I see all to many claiming that garb as a way of gaining respect and for me, I just have to laugh. That said, I spent the weekend discussing leather with LadyPact who strongly identifies with leather. I also publicly attacked the board of the largest group in Los Angeles who identify as leather and declared they had no integrity, while they denied it strongly, they did change the rules to prevent what caused me to declare they had no integrity so this issue is NOT limited to online.
I heard a little bit about that last part in your absence. You know, that period of time this past weekend while you weren't making us breakfast. The other part we discussed. That's not what leather is about to Me. It does, however, tie into the original in the thread.
When THAT is the image being presented, you've really only got two options. Shut up and (figuratively) go away or stand up and stick around. Any time you have a subgroup of folks, there are going to be some making the rest look bad. People hold on to that negative and the positive gets lost.
Oddly enough, here on the boards with the supposed clique thing, I get the impression that people skip the fact that we DON'T agree on everything. From what someone called earlier the outside looking in, they aren't really looking at the fact that we're not some kind of group of yes men. They glaze over the times that there are vastly different opinions on subjects. I can honestly say that I believe I've had a different point of view at one time or another with darn near every regular poster on these boards. Some more than others, but that's how it should be. We're not clones and we're not carbon copies. THAT is the image that I wish would be presented.
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