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Termyn8or -> RE: My fall (7/22/2010 8:25:04 PM)
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Pshah. Y'all are just chokin me up, hang on while I grab a beer. (4.5 second delay due to superior ergonomic design)
I am feeling a bit better at the moment. But that doesn't change the fact that I did relapse recently. Again I got rid of the matress. It has been said that possibly I am reinfecting myself somehow. I was never a very clean person, and it never bothered me, but it may be now. So the new mattress is on the floor and my headboard is just up against the wall. Confy enough for now. So last night I roll over and inadvertently, because I was pretty much sleeping, grabbed said headboard and brought it toppling down upon myself. At first I said "What the fuck !", but then I started laughing. This is so ridiculous I should find a way to word it for my thread "Whatthefuckisms".
The person who asserted that I may be reinfecting myself knows how strong my immune system used to be, and figures whatever got to me is really fucking powerful. Once the ball is rolling I will push for a full blood workup. But the way he sees it, even with changing sheets and all that when you sweat some of it gets through. Then it comes back. And one piece of evidense that supports that is that I am feeling a bit better and I did function well today on short sleep.
That headboard doesn't mean shit to me, it is destined to go behind a table actually and provide a place to put stuff, like maybe a phone, my router and modem, some books, shit like that. But it is time for a new, proper bed. The only problem is I might have to join the matress of the month club. If that's the case all they have to be is new, I don't need the expensive kind because I don't expect them to last very long. I am not going to sleep on rubber sheets. I might lay on rubber sheets for a session, like just in case someone wanted to whip the last little bit of piss out of me, but I won't sleep on them.
Now say I do this, how to get rid of the old matresses ? Of course the garbagemen will take them, they take anything here. I bet I could throw dead bodies out there and they would go into the truck like anything alse, as long as they were cut up into pieces that were not too heavy. (that could be a problem with some people I know) But someone in a pickup truck picked up my old matress. It was said "You'll be sorry". Indeed if our suspicions are correct, I don't think it's right to just not do anything about that. They could get very sick and die. I don't wish that on strangers, unless they piss me off of course. But the thing looked pretty much new, no stain, nothing like that.
But then the really nice one that we now believe infected me looked just as good.
I don't like waste. But dammit, if these things are poison I should at least try to do something. The best I can come up with right now is to drag each one out back and burn a big hole in the middle of it. Get charcoal lighter fluid and give it a good squirt, enough to burn half of it away from the middle. Then even someone who is REALLY desparate would at least have to cover it with THEIR OWN blankets. Not mine. Beats dying.
Shit, you know what this means ? If we are right and get my fighting chance a regain my health, by the time all the appointments are done for SS, I probably won't qualify.
I have done a lot of reevaluating these days. I have to realize that I turn fifty next month. The kid at work has good eyes and sometimes I have to have him look at the PC boards for faults or change some of the smaller components. But when I do that I have to take the PC board out of the unit for the poor baby. He won't get down on the floor with a scope, laptop and meter and troubleshoot. Even the other guy, he is fifty but he doesn't like sitting on the floor and bending down, he'll put a 70" TV up on a rickety old stand with one inch diameter wheel to avoid it. I think that is dangerous, even without injury it costs money if it falls. So I do what I do. But now I find that I must get up periodically because if I sit too long it is difficult to get up. I used to just stand straight up with nothing on which to hold at all from sitting with my legs crossed. Once up I would hop and uncross my legs. This is only about four or five years ago. Now if I sit that way for an hour I almost can't walk. But I do recover from that. Stretch my legs, walk around, go downstairs and have a smoke, whatever.
Now I try to make it a point to get up every fifteen minutes or so. I do unless it screws up my train of thought, which is the most important thing in my job. To me, I am topped out in wages in the industry, so I can't get a raise so I consider this appropriate. So sitting there for a bit too long to solve the problem is no longer considered standard operating procedure, I consider it above and beyond the call.
And, no matter how bad things are, fire me if you don't like it.
As I probably said, I don't really care if SS ever sends me a check. I am doing this to get fixed. Once fixed I will do something. The TV business is dying, of that there is no doubt. But I can do some kickass remodeling. The problem there is that I will need to be able to see and have a good amount of physical strength and stamina. I enjoy house remodeling, it gives like a sense of accompishment because part of the job is usually to build......something. My buddy and I remodeled a house for Colin Powell's personal chef BTW. He was very pleased, but that was detracted by a couple of stupid mistakes made by the too young gutting crew. (they threw out a big brass piece for one of the fireplace inserts) But we increased the value of his house probably about tenfold. I like that kind of work.
I know how to get and keep a job. I have only applied for two jobs in my life I didn't get, maybe three. I have been fired only twice. I also know how to sell myself on a personal level, like a contractor, and I know how to do the the work as well as my limitations.
The problem now is that those limitations have become too oppressive.
We'll see what happens. On the homefront things seem to be boiling down, or settling down. Again, we'll see.
So I will be off to rabblerouse. Try to catch up a little sleep. hopefully without furniture hitting me in the face tonight. But of course, I'll be baaaaack.
T
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