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RE: Can subs play with others? - 4/15/2006 9:50:49 PM

SweetDommes

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It hasn't come up with us, and I don't know how I would deal with it if it did (I'm incredibly jealous) but ... what if there was something that they were really interested in that I just wasn't comfortable in doing without learning and practicing first - like fireplay or knife play ... if they wanted to see if they liked it before I went to the time and effort to learn it, I would *probably* let them play with someone else, as long as I or Holly were present.

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RE: Can subs play with others? - 4/15/2006 10:13:47 PM

RunningFox

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Sorry to threadjack, but could someone explain the exact differences between "bottom" and "submissive?" Not new to BDSM, but new to the community and the specific terms, I guess. :-D

And back on topic, it wouldn't be in my relationship. I wouldn't really want to, anyway, unless I knew for certain my mate was fine with it (a stipulation of that is if he were there, playing, too :-D ).

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RE: Can subs play with others? - 4/15/2006 10:52:29 PM

MsMacComb

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RunningFox

Sorry to threadjack, but could someone explain the exact differences between "bottom" and "submissive?" Not new to BDSM, but new to the community and the specific terms, I guess. :-D

And back on topic, it wouldn't be in my relationship. I wouldn't really want to, anyway, unless I knew for certain my mate was fine with it (a stipulation of that is if he were there, playing, too :-D ).

Its essentially semantics. However, one can be a bottom in that they like to be topped or dominated, often more of a casual thing and while they may bottom they may also switch. A sub will also bottom but rarely (if ever) switches and many tend to get a little more into the 24/7 type lifestyle.
However, this type of question is left wide open to individual definitions and personal intrepretations.

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RE: Can subs play with others? - 4/16/2006 3:24:10 AM

Oumae

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

GRANTED there is a HUGE difference between a bottom and a sub.... HOWEVER, i still do not feel it is proper for a sub to play with another Dom while collared...

Your opinion which you are entitled to..... but what if the Dom wants it?

Lets say I have a Domme friend staying, we come home from a night out with tired feet, I ask my sub to give her a foot rub... he does it for me so is not submitting to her. She has a new toy she wants to try out, I ask him to bend over, again tho' she may be doing the caning/flogging , he does it for me.

Oumae

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RE: Can subs play with others? - 4/16/2006 5:33:26 AM

ShiftedJewel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LindaLashes

I´m curious. Do you allow your sub to play with others when you´re not around? If so, does he have to ask permission every time?

No, whether we're around or not... closed poly means... you know... closed.

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RE: Can subs play with others? - 4/16/2006 7:23:31 AM

kittensmailbox

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If that is what the Dom desires then so be it...

When my former master asked my desires on the matter, i simply said, that i would rather be released then to have another Dom touch me...

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RE: Can subs play with others? - 4/18/2006 7:13:55 PM

LindaLashes

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Wow, thanks for all the reply ppl.

A bit of info on my situation.
I was approached by a girlfriend of mine who´s a switch. She and her friend who is also a switch needed a sub for play. I decided to ask Mistress for permission, which she didn´t grant me since she was abroad.
Later Mistress talked to me about all this. She explained why she denied me my playtime, also talked about the fact that I´m not the one who should ask these things.
If a person we both know wants me for play, that same person is supposed to ask Mistress since I´m her property.
Another thing that is a part of the rules I must follow, I´m not allowed to communicate with other dom/mes, especially not when it comes to issues of play or bdsm in general. That I knew, the other is duly noted and learned.

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RE: Can subs play with others? - 4/18/2006 7:28:50 PM

Proprietrix

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Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LindaLashes
If a person we both know wants me for play, that same person is supposed to ask Mistress since I´m her property.

I totally agree with this. It's an old school protocol thing with me.
After someone asks me though, I will usually consult with my sub/slave and get their opinion. They might not want to play with the other person for a valid reason, like fear.

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RE: Can subs play with others? - 4/18/2006 8:50:29 PM

MistressLlyoness

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Joined: 2/14/2005
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I will generally allow my girl to play with someone else but only if I am present, at least the first time. Again, the Dominant should be the one asking unless the girl is wanting to play with someone in particular. For example, if she wants to have an electrical scene she would request permission to ask a specific Dominant for a scene since I am not particularly interested in electrical play. The first rule is "Protect the property." That applies to me as well as to those I own.

Ms. Lynette

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