|
CallaFirestormBW -> RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. (7/12/2010 11:25:00 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
From another thread that I didn't want to derail.
How Pushable are your Limits.
I say this because just about every woman I ever been with had a Limit on Anal Sex..... and every one eventually allowed me to do it and every one ended up loving it and LIVING for it. (Well maybe not THAT excited but that's how I remember it)
The Idea is how offten do you Limit something that scares you but you don't really know all that much about?
What Limits have you set that later on you had to reset because you fond someone you LIKED doing that thing with?
Curious Minds want to know.
QSM
~FR from the Top side~
For me, the limits that I have are solid and not "pushable". I don't mess around with "hard" limits or "soft" limits -- I just have limits, and those are dyed-in-the-wool "I'm not going there" limits. It is for this reason that, if someone approaches me to serve in my household, and that individual has a desire on that "not going there" list, I won't consider them for long-term service with me, because that desire would not be met, and eventually, xhe would be disappointed and dis-satisfied.
OTOH, I -will- accept a bottom, for short-term casual activities who has interests that I don't share, as long as our session will not include any of the items on my "not in this lifetime" list.
If there is something that I don't do now, haven't tried, but am only mildly reluctant, neutral, or ambivalent about, I don't put it on any "list" -- if it comes up, I'll evaluate it at the time, and if I decide to give it a try, I'll decide down the road how I feel about it.
When I was in service, at the beginning of my experience in this way of life, I came in via the 'submission first' route. While not the -only- way to enter into authority-exchange relationships, it -was- the only way to do so with the people that I wanted to participate with. Because of that requirement, the only way that I could have restricted what my Keepers wanted me to do, or did to me, was to walk away. I made the choice with my eyes wide open, and, honestly, with a bit of fear, knowing what it would mean, when I accepted the position in the household. I didn't go in blind, and I believed that I knew the people involved well enough to know that it was highly unlikely that they would ask anything from me that I would find myself unable to comply with on an ethical level -- and I accepted that, on an aesthetic level, in choosing to enter -this- household, under its rules, my own aesthetic preferences were, essentially, useless baggage. I took a deep breath and let myself stretch, telling myself all the time when stuff came up that made me twitch that I would be able to suck up any tendencies to be -unwilling- to comply with things that were squicky for me, but which I had no real aversion to. I learned a -lot- because of that decision... not only what I liked, but what I disliked and wouldn't voluntarily repeat once I had the choice. I think that it was, at least in part, because of the breadth and depth of my experience that I am able to say now, without apology, that the few things I have left as limits are rock solid.
I think, too, that that depth and breadth of experience led me to a place where, when a bottom or potential servant says "this is a limit for me", I take that as being as solid as my own limits, and I won't push that limit once it's been stated -- which, actually, has caused some issue with some of our servants who came in with "limits" -expecting- that I would push those limits, when, to me, if a limit is in place, it makes it a "no-go zone".
Calla
|
|
|
|
