RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits.

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/18/2010 1:06:10 PM

NuevaVida

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Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

How Pushable are your Limits.

Here's the thing with me. Within the confines of a trusting relationship - one in which I trust he will not cause me emotional harm - I'll try whatever he wants me to try. As for the emotional harm part, learning his character and who he is as a man had already occurred before I gave myself to him in enslavement.

I guess you can say my hard-limit is self-imposed by me: Do not give myself to a man who I can not trust with my emotional well-being.

quote:

The Idea is how offten do you Limit something that scares you but you don't really know all that much about?

I don't recall ever doing this.

quote:

What Limits have you set that later on you had to reset because you fond someone you LIKED doing that thing with?

Again, because limits were never "set", and I've done what was wanted of me, this does not apply.

That said, when Mr. Man and I were just getting to know each other, he brought up the question of limits. I said I didn't have a set a limits, but there are things I hope I'll never have to do again. Just this morning on the phone, however, I was telling a friend I realize that with him, I would do them again, horrible as they were, because I trust him with my emotional well-being and I know he'd get me through it. He is very careful with me, because of some of my history. So there are things I'm open to doing again that he might never want me to do again, to ensure my inner balance.

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/18/2010 1:38:56 PM

porcelaine

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Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

Again, because limits were never "set", and I've done what was wanted of me, this does not apply.

That said, when Mr. Man and I were just getting to know each other, he brought up the question of limits. I said I didn't have a set a limits, but there are things I hope I'll never have to do again. Just this morning on the phone, however, I was telling a friend I realize that with him, I would do them again, horrible as they were, because I trust him with my emotional well-being and I know he'd get me through it. He is very careful with me, because of some of my history. So there are things I'm open to doing again that he might never want me to do again, to ensure my inner balance.

That disturbing moment of recognition can be quite jarring. Facing my own attraction to behaviors and acts I find unsettling yet would willingly engage for the right person took some introspection. I denied them for a time because it was safer to do so in my head. However, confession is good for the soul. I feel much better having acknowledged that I've taken things off the table and the vulnerability that follows is okay as long as I'm engaging with the right person. It really comes down to him.

~porcelaine

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Post #: 142

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/18/2010 3:09:11 PM

iammellow

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Joined: 7/16/2010
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hi,, never had a limit reached,, extremely pain tolerant, but have been with people i trust. would like to find out someday if i have a pain limit :) (with safety of course).

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Post #: 143