Termyn8or
Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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Well I awoke from my nap thirsty. Grabbed a beer and I was OK, or so I thought. I opened the piss warn beer and after a swig I was OK. I was in such good spirits I wondered if there was a joint around somewhere.
So I meander into the bathroom and piss all over everything because my eyesight is about twenty over nine thousand. I did not have my glasses on. But once they were I hopped in the car and cruised on down to the beer store. Now normally the car does know the way so this is not an issue, but this fucking idiot didn't realize that I own that road.
So to avoid hitting that asshole I ran up on the curb and crushed some type of..... I just don't know what it was. When noone came out after a couple minutes I figured they didn't care and took off. Luckily I didn't hit the cop car that was passing by.
Since I was driving into direct sunlight I didn see the kid on the bike. But afterwards I cashed his welfare check and now I have another weed connection. But I was two bucks short and had to just get a 12 pack.
On the way back it got really interesting. There was a recent dtriveby, and they were checking everybody. I got out of that with some slick talking and one of the olman's courtesy cards. Then I hit this dumb bitch who obviously has no idea how to drive a car, and the same cop was there and found out she was drunk. He said straight out "Look, the jails are full, can't you people just behave ?".
So now she has to pay me $250, as I said it was my deductible. I await her check, so I can call the weed Man. It was a minor fender bender and all my doors open and close so fukit.
I get back to the house and the kitchen stove is on fire. I told the Woman that is why you don't cover cooking oil when you are using it, but it went out the other ear. Then I yealled "I told you, no unauthorized arson". What part of that is so hard to understand ?
When I got home I was bone tired, basically from surviving. I took off my shoes and socks, and the promptly stomped on a very large wood splinter, a chard actually. Once the three of us yanked that out it was time to burn one for sure. I hit it and coughed so bad I fell on the floor and got stabbed, and I am still not sure what it was.
So the blood is pouring out the right side of my body, and guess what happens ? I did not redo my belt and my pants fell down !
So a bit later, pantsless and whatever, tunes cranked up to a thousand watts (we do have that) the cops show up. They took one look at my bleeding corpse and said fukit, just turn the tunes down.
That's how you beat a traffic ticket in Cleveland Ohio.
T
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You do not want to read this - 
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I love your posts (BTW, liquor stores do deliver).Gratz on the beat-the rap.Take care of yourself.
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