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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 11:20:52 AM

Aileen1968

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Embarrassed

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 11:22:17 AM

Jeffff

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No charge for that!

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 11:23:53 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

, come here often, need to be whipped home?

Yes and hell yes, please..

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 11:30:34 AM

Arpig

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quote:

None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally,

Dude, you made a vow...that means you don't break it. It doesn't matter what she may have done, that is neither here nor there...YOU made a vow and you want to break it...that makes you forsworn and demonstrably untrustworthy. I don't need to know anything more about your situation than that, that is all the evidence anybody needs to issue a blanket condemnation, because any and all other considerations are meaningless.

You made a solemn vow and now want to renege...that's all there is to it. That's all any of us needs to know that you are not to be taken at your word...you even apparently lied in your post about your friend...see how easy it is to lie once you get started. You want to know how to find a sub...you have been given several options
1) End your marriage honourably and then pursue a sub
2) Hire a professional
3) Try a cheating site a la AshleyMadison and advertise kink there
4) Talk to your wife about your desires
5) Slowly introduce your wife to kink

Take your pick, any of the above will improve your chances of finding a sub

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 1:54:36 PM

tiggerspoohbear

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I just can't help but chime in to this trainwreck. We all know that's how it's gonna end.

I've been the cheatER the cheatEE and the other woman. All my own decision, all mine to own. This was over 25 yrs ago and it still haunts me to this day. I figured if he could cheat on me, then what was good for the goose was good for the gander. I was o so wrong. I have to live every day with the lousy decisions I made.

Hey, OP, don't kid yourself, even if she won't admit it, she knows what's going on. I know I did. I could tell by the way he preened in front of the mirror that he was going out that night to look for a piece of tail. I'd tell him to admit it, the cologne was a dead giveaway but he denied it every time. He finally got himself a stalker who took great pleasure in calling me to let me know. And I still stayed, much to my regret.

As to being the other woman, this was also discovered by his wife. She took to calling me regularly and even showing up at the house and spying through the curtains. Her footprints were evident in the garden.

The married men ended up divorced, losing everything they had. The women had to suffer the indignity of finding out they'd been cheated on. Who suffered the most? The children who'd been brought into this world, those innocent beings who now had parents who hated each other.

I no longer cheat, I made myself that promise 25 yrs ago and have kept to it. I'm now in a new relationship with someone I met here, trust, honesty, integrity and communication are key with us. Neither of us has been angels, we both recognize that and don't wish to repeat past history. This will be a monogamous relationship, rule #1 with both of us.

Aileen, you showed much strength of character in your post. Yes, it does follow you for the rest of your life. But you've realized that what you did was wrong, and that was a huge step forward. The fact that you would no longer compromise your relationship is very telling.

This is my story, I won't lie about it, I'm not proud, but what's done is done. Time to move on and try to forgive myself. Not an easy thing to do. I actually shut down for 16 yrs and refused to date anyone for that period. He finally left me for someone else. I'd always known he'd be married before the age of 30 and not to me. I was told that often enough. He got married in August and turned 30 in December. But less than a year later, he came home to an empty house and a note that said she'd left him for his best friend. KARMA'S A BITCH and IT'LL COME BACK TO BITE YOU IN THE ASS. I've paid for my mistakes, won't repeat them again.

'Nuff said.

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 2:01:44 PM

PeanutTigerinBox

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear
Hey, OP, don't kid yourself, even if she won't admit it, she knows what's going on. I know I did. I could tell by the way he preened in front of the mirror that he was going out that night to look for a piece of tail. I'd tell him to admit it, the cologne was a dead giveaway but he denied it every time. He finally got himself a stalker who took great pleasure in calling me to let me know. And I still stayed, much to my regret.

As to being the other woman, this was also discovered by his wife. She took to calling me regularly and even showing up at the house and spying through the curtains. Her footprints were evident in the garden.

The married men ended up divorced, losing everything they had. The women had to suffer the indignity of finding out they'd been cheated on. Who suffered the most? The children who'd been brought into this world, those innocent beings who now had parents who hated each other.

Can only second that. When C-Dom met me as a pro-sub in 2005 we met 2-3 times and then afterwards he often had to cancel the meeting as his wife sensed the change in his behaviour due to looking forward to meeting me again. And yes she caught him out as she found a sms from me on his phone (he had started to text me a heck of a lot I did not know at that time if he is single or not so why should I bother when he texted me a lot anyway, so I texted a lot back, too).

Then since she did discover that he took a break but even later he did not manage to come back UNTIL...they separated now.

Now she lives in the house with the kids and he bought af spacious flat for himself...on the plus side their kids are almos adults now themselves, so at least not that small anymore....

However, I doubt that this was really worth it.

< Message edited by PeanutTigerinBox -- 7/16/2010 2:04:27 PM >

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 4:06:54 PM

tiggerspoohbear

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It's never worth it no matter how much you try to make it right in your head and in your heart. I know I fell hard for one of the guys and it was heartbreak city. The fact that these men were friends of the guy that I lived with definitely made things tougher. Stupid is as stupid does. I was stupid.

I've learned a lot of hard lessons, that was one of the thoughest. Never again, it's not worth the pain to yourself and most importantly to your partner. Disapointment in his eyes now would leave me as heartbroken as I've ever been. Not willing to go through that ever again. With age sometimes comes maturity beyond your years. I learned, I don't do anymore. I value him too much.

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 4:27:12 PM

lally2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

My complaint is that it makes us all so skeptical.. it makes it even more awkward and difficult when both of us assuming the other is a scammer or not who they represent themselves to be..

wow what a catch you are!! - cheating on youre wife and you cant even afford a person youve reached an understanding with, even the remotest level of trust.

and trust is the issue really to be honest. you dont have any and you obviously dont deserve any - youre phucked.

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/16/2010 8:08:09 PM

SaintAllie

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I've read all replies til now.

Why would you post this? If you are a reasonable human being.. how can you not see the pitfalls of this action as well as the benefits.. if you follow through on it?

I think most responses have been good advice to you.

No one here can tell you what to do.. most here strive to be supportive.

Whatever you choose to do, ( and I emphasise, this is your choice).

If I can give you any of my life experience.. I would say..think ahead at least 5 years..and apply it to how you are living now.. see all the changes this action may entail.

Then make a decision.

regards

Allie

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/17/2010 4:37:50 AM

BDSMPleasures

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I can understand how someone like you who has been hurt is reacting this way.. if you (the people leaving posts her) truly "care" then perhaps the best approach to change someone like me is not through ridicule, name calling, etc.. which makes me put up defenses.. and therefore ignore the message you're trying to send. However, if you just like be a bitch and enjoy attacking anyone that you can .. then continue as you were... lol

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/17/2010 4:59:03 AM

BDSMPleasures

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Dude: I'm sure you have done something wrong in your life too, or even lied to someone.. does that mean YOU should be banned from being a Dom.. because obvioulsy you can't be trusted? No.. there are many, many here that cheat, my mistake was being hoinest about it to you all.

In the oroginal; post is that the person who told me to come here was was a friend... that is the pasrt not true...she is not..barely an acquaintance you all are ridiculous.. the point of the "friend having luck here" is so irrelevant..and yes... it is literary license to summarize and not explain in multiple paragraphs who she is, what she found here etc..

Otherwise, I like how you presented your points so orderly

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/17/2010 5:12:10 AM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Nothing admirable or rockin here.
Just a fuckup who tries to learn from her mistakes.
I do know that I will never cheat on anyone else ever again.

Wrong. It's decided, you rock.

I am sorry but I have to go with Jeffff on this one.

Aileen is a dirty and soiled cunt.

Now if you like your cunts dirty and soiled than she just might be your cup of joe.

In a CM poll that I conducted back in '92

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3312436/mpage_3/key_/tm.htm#3315470

It was discovered that 93% of CM'ers enjoy a dirty and soiled cunt.

The remaining 7% whined about being unable to get a hold of any soiled and dirty cunts and then yammered something about scammers and the fakes.

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/17/2010 5:14:49 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

If she knows or not is between her and I. None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally, one can only say that you don't like this sort of behavior in general terms... everything is not always black and white... there are always shades of gray...

You are forgetting one other person that it will involve aside from you and your wife.

If I read this thread right, that would be 2 other people. He said he is looking for someone in his situation. So you would have the liar he is sleeping with and the guy she is lying to added to the mix. Maybe after the shit hits the fan and then everything settles back down, his wife and her husband can get together and celebrate.

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/17/2010 5:20:26 AM

xxblushesxx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

my mistake was being hoinest about it to you all.

If that is what you got from this entire thread; people baring their souls to spare not only your wife, but you eventually (once you hurt someone deeply and have to look them in the eye it takes a piece of your soul, and hurts you as much as you've hurt them...unless you're a total ass) then...you're either not comprehending what these fine people are telling you, or your dick is talking so loudly you can't hear them.

I pick box number two.

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/17/2010 5:25:26 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

Dude: I'm sure you have done something wrong in your life too, or even lied to someone.. does that mean YOU should be banned from being a Dom.. because obvioulsy you can't be trusted? No.. there are many, many here that cheat, my mistake was being hoinest about it to you all.

In the oroginal; post is that the person who told me to come here was was a friend... that is the pasrt not true...she is not..barely an acquaintance you all are ridiculous.. the point of the "friend having luck here" is so irrelevant..and yes... it is literary license to summarize and not explain in multiple paragraphs who she is, what she found here etc..

Otherwise, I like how you presented your points so orderly

So, you are not only lying to your wife, but you lied in the OP. But it's ok because it was literary license? The more you post, the sorrier I feel for your wife. It must suck to live with someone and not be able to believe anything they say.

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/17/2010 5:43:11 AM

VaguelyCurious

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FR

Look, OP, I don't really care who you are or what you do or the gazillion ways you might choose to fuck your marriage over (of which cheating is only one).

But in starting this thread you asked people to give you advice on the best way to cheat on your wife. Your wife cannot consent to the cheating because she doesn't know about it. In effect you are asking us to help you inflict *non-consensual harm* on your wife.

You wanted to cheat and in asking for help you wanted to dirty other posters' hands while you did it. Face it, people don't want dirty hands-how on earth did you *expect* people to respond?!?

<Edited cause I can't uses tenses consistently>

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 7/17/2010 5:44:51 AM >

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/17/2010 6:07:09 AM

domiguy

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My vote is to ignore Aileen. Have you seen the dude she ended up with? Yeeeesh!

Anywhooo, I applauded you on being somewhat forthright in your profile to your prey about the fact that you are attached in lieu of the path of total deception.

We all have had girlfriends and wifes that have slipped into comas, the shit hits women as often as a period.

When I was but a domiboy, I might have decided to stray outside a primary relationship in search of some quality "strange." For awhile things went quite swimmingly until the bitch left her "mickey mouse" watch on my nightstand. (yeah, you fuckers, she was nine......She was of age you sick fucks)

(Just a note to our readers when it's really early in the morning and your soon to be ex sig other is questioning you about an item on your nightstand it's best to just start going into convulsions than attempt to have a conversation.)

It went something like this.....

Soon to be ex sig other: Oh Domiboy, what is this thing on our night stand?

domiboy: (barely awake) ....What? what are you talking about?

Soon to be ex sig other: There is a watch on our night stand how did it get here?

domiboy: (Oh fuck!!! Oh fuck!!! Oh fuck!!! Oh fuck!!!...We have reached DEFCON 1!!! ....We must flee...Lying mode is not responding..Oh Shit!!....Say anything!!!) Ummm, I was walking down the alley to the Jewel and I saw this watch, I put it in my pocket ...got home took a quick nap and it was digging into my side so I threw it on the night stand.

Soon to be ex sig other: Describe it to me. (My back is turned away still somewhat feigning sleep and I know she has the watch in her hand, staring at it.)

domiboy: It's a watch for chrissake, leather band and metallic.

Soon to be ex sig other: It's a woman's mickey mouse watch you fucking asshole....(throws watch at domiboy's head...she storms off crying)

I was but a domiboy when this event transpired. Learned a serious lesson. Don't cheat with women that wear jewelry. Better yet, don't cheat at all.

It's not going to end well. You are going to find a woman that is in a similar situation and that will take you up on your offer. You will probably get caught and you probably have more to lose than I did at the time of my indiscretion. You have a wife she was a girlfriend.

It took about a year or so for the Soon to be ex sig other to talk to me. We were great friends not the best lovers. Time heals some wounds but I can still see to this day the hurt in her eyes.

All of our friends know about the Mickey Mouse watch fiasco. Sometimes when we are all together I will have to tell the story about the watch in the alley. Jokes will be made...I often say that thank God I didn't pick up the diaphragm that was laying next to it. My friends will ask what did she look like? I stick to my original story about finding the watch and add that for some reason that I am confident that she was hot but I really have no real proof as it is just kind of feeling I got from holding the watch.

My Soon to be ex sig other will then say that I am a motherfucker. Everyone laughs. It sucks.

While I applaud you for being somewhat candid...What you are pursuing is not revolutionary. Millions of people cheat. But the reality is why put yourself in the situation where the people that really matter are going to lose respect for you?

Movie quotes are always fitting at times like these.....

Scent of a Woman 1992...

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Haven't you heard? Conscience is dead.
Charlie Simms: No, I haven't heard.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Well, then, take the fuckin' wax outta your ears! Grow up! It's fuck your buddy, cheat on your wife, call your mother on Mother's Day! Charlie, it's all shit.

Lt. Col. Frank Slade: [Lt. Col. Frank Slade is speaking in defense of Charlie Simms at meeting at the Baird School] Now I have come to the cross-roads in my life. I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew, but I never took it. You know why? It was too damn hard.

It's your path, it's your choice.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 7/17/2010 6:10:55 AM >

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/17/2010 6:12:51 AM

DarkSteven

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So, domi, you have a used woman's Mickey Mouse wristwatch for sale cheap?

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/17/2010 6:14:59 AM

mnottertail

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I have one that looks like a quiet simple man, for sale cheap.

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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/17/2010 6:29:00 AM

domiguy

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I think that Soon to be ex sig other still has it. I could make inquiries if there is any interest.

I remember that the comic book guy was paying millions for Mark Maguire home run balls....What would a mickey mouse watch that cost a domiboy a relationship, go for?

These are trying economic times...

Bounty Hunter: A man's got to make a livin'

Outlaw Josey Wales: Cheatin' ain't much of a livin'

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