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RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/14/2010 3:31:41 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3


...the morality police...



Just one question before I accept this assignment...do I get a tazer?  It's not too much to ask...really.



Tazers are now banned....it's in another thread....the morality police hand out sweaters with a big scarlet A on them.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/14/2010 3:33:16 PM   
BDSMPleasures


Posts: 26
Joined: 4/12/2010
Status: offline 		No... is nothing to do with lazy.. I was under the false impression that this community was open minded, fair, and open to the idea that we all make choices about our lifestyle that most others condemn... most here are just as quick to judge like their vanilla copunterparts as long as the issue is not related to the non traditional choices they have made for themselves.

(in reply to January)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/14/2010 3:44:04 PM   
BentUnit


Posts: 897
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

No... is nothing to do with lazy.. I was under the false impression that this community was open minded, fair, and open to the idea that we all make choices about our lifestyle that most others condemn... most here are just as quick to judge like their vanilla copunterparts as long as the issue is not related to the non traditional choices they have made for themselves.


Look if you spent as much time, effort and energy into your marriage and trying to ease your wife into kink as you did trying to come up with justifications and excuses for cheating you'd have the kinky marriage of your dreams.

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/14/2010 3:44:13 PM   
Jasmineinbloom


Posts: 59
Joined: 4/24/2010
Status: offline 		It's Universal in most communities to not wish to see someone in the process of hurting another. No matter the reason.

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/14/2010 3:45:55 PM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures
most here are just as quick to judge like their vanilla copunterparts as long as the issue is not related to the non traditional choices they have made for themselves.
That's because most of us believe consent is important.  And that your wife has a right to make choices as well as you.

That said, I'm not the fidelity police either.

Far as I'm concerned you're a pathetic loser.  Hopefully you can find another pathetic loser and have a relationship based on mutual pathetic loserness.

You might want to consider looking at one of the dating sites set up for people cheating on their spouses.  You'd probably get a better reaction than here.

So best of luck on that!

And if you find someone, please do come back and let us know when she cheats on you.  Schadenfreude is one of my kinks.

EDIT:  Any scammers reading this thread, this guy is a dream come true for you guys.  Seriously, trust me on this one.  He'd also be really easy to blackmail.


< Message edited by Apocalypso -- 7/14/2010 3:47:45 PM >

_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/14/2010 3:46:34 PM   
willbeurdaddy


Posts: 11894
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

No... is nothing to do with lazy.. I was under the false impression that this community was open minded, fair, and open to the idea that we all make choices about our lifestyle that most others condemn... most here are just as quick to judge like their vanilla copunterparts as long as the issue is not related to the non traditional choices they have made for themselves.


Why stop there...most here are quick to judge any kink other than their own, not just vanilla.

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/14/2010 4:00:32 PM   
BDSMPleasures


Posts: 26
Joined: 4/12/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for the advice

(in reply to BentUnit)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/14/2010 4:01:15 PM   
Notsweet


Posts: 873
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		Please, please don't compare consentual BDSM with lying, cheating and dishonesty. You think that trust has nothing to do with BDSM? Oh, yeah, you're a dom.

Oh, and btw, of course you can trust a lying, cheating, dishonest married woman, just like she can trust you.

And you wonder why your wife isn't interested in fucking you.

I can't believe I read this whole thread. I only read it to see what Lockit and LadyPact had to say, because they always make sense. If they tell you that you're a putz, you can take that to the bank.


(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/14/2010 4:14:58 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

No... is nothing to do with lazy.. I was under the false impression that this community was open minded, fair, and open to the idea that we all make choices about our lifestyle that most others condemn... most here are just as quick to judge like their vanilla copunterparts as long as the issue is not related to the non traditional choices they have made for themselves.

If you were under the impression that whatever you do is cool as long as you call it a kink, you're damn right that you got the wrong impression.  My right to kink stops where effected third parties rights begin.  I don't have the right to hurt people by extension.  That covers everything from neighbors being concerned because they hear clip and I playing, to not trying to shock people on the street, to him being in such a condition after playing that he can not live up to his responsibilities. 

You have the right to make your choices.  I have the right to tell you that your choices suck.  The only reason I not sitting here saying that I hope you get caught is because I don't want to wish that pain on your wife.  In other words, I care about her more than you do on this matter.

If you can't grow a pair and talk to your wife, you can't be surprised that people think you are nothing more than what has been said about you in this thread. 




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/14/2010 5:18:42 PM   
yellowroses


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

No... is nothing to do with lazy.. I was under the false impression that this community was open minded, fair, and open to the idea that we all make choices about our lifestyle that most others condemn... most here are just as quick to judge like their vanilla copunterparts as long as the issue is not related to the non traditional choices they have made for themselves.


I really dislike it when people use the BDSM community/lifestyle as an excuse for bad behavior. There are so many Doms and subs that I have seen that behave badly and do it because they think just because they are in the lifestyle there are no rules. Bad behavior is simply bad behavior. It has NOTHING to do with being open minded.

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/14/2010 5:49:40 PM   
thornhappy


Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		They don't fall into comas, domi!  They get amnesia!
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

It happens. Girlfriends and wives fall into comas all the time....Do you not watch soaps, they have no axe to grind in this fight?

I wish the op well. If he were a married woman he would be a disgusting whore for such pursuits.

I sleep well knowing these facts.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/15/2010 7:56:38 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

Thanks for the advice


Please return and let us know what happens when your wife finds out about your hunt for fun on the side.

It's the sadist in me.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/15/2010 9:17:37 AM   
BDSMPleasures


Posts: 26
Joined: 4/12/2010
Status: offline 		If she knows or not is between her and I. None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally, one can only say that you don't like this sort of behavior in general terms... everything is not always black and white... there are always shades of gray...

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/15/2010 9:28:29 AM   
smartsub10


Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

If she knows or not is between her and I. None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally, one can only say that you don't like this sort of behavior in general terms... everything is not always black and white... there are always shades of gray...


Whether we know you very well or not at all does not change the fact that you are seeking a relationship outside of your marriage without your wife's knowledge or consent.   Still cheating.  Still kinda tacky.


_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/15/2010 9:34:58 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

If she knows or not is between her and I. None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally, one can only say that you don't like this sort of behavior in general terms... everything is not always black and white... there are always shades of gray...


You are forgetting one other person that it will involve aside from you and your wife.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/15/2010 9:36:41 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

If she knows or not is between her and I. None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally, one can only say that you don't like this sort of behavior in general terms... everything is not always black and white... there are always shades of gray...

Actually, I can.  You posted your life to the board, cupcake.  That means you don't get to control the comments.

The shades of gray isn't the issue.

Quite frankly, it isn't between you and her because she has no ability here to defend or protect herself.  You have every right to think I'm a judgmental bitch for doing it in her stead, but I'm good with that.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/15/2010 9:40:05 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

Not sure how this developed into discussion of married or not.. that is not the issue..maybe a better question is how to introduce an "old fashioned" woman who thinks anything other than missionary is "dirty and perverted" and get her into the kink I am now into..


If she doesn't meet your needs, divorce her, any sort of justification for cheating because she won't meet your kink needs is really sordid and selfish...

Here is the deal, I read your profile, no where does it say you are married on it, this in my experience makes you every bit the scammer that you complain about. Do you know how many doms like you have emailed me? They don't mention they are married until the move to wanting to talk on a landline or meet, and then all of the sudden they tell the truth "She doesn't understand me, you don't understand me, no one understands me" .. Guess what, most decent folk don't WANT to understand you! It is pretty easy to understand anyways.... your wife is boring and you want some strange... it isn't rocket science

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/15/2010 9:45:03 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

If she knows or not is between her and I. None of you know enough about me or my situation to be able to issue a blanket condemation of me personally, one can only say that you don't like this sort of behavior in general terms... everything is not always black and white... there are always shades of gray...


All I have to base my posts on this thread is your profile and this statement from your original post...

quote:


I'm wanting to have a D/s relationship on the side, in secret.


No shade of gray about that, as far as I can tell.



(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/15/2010 10:04:16 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BDSMPleasures

A friend suggested I post a message here as it helped her find her Dom.

I guess the challenge for me is that I seek a local female submissive that is in the same situation as I am... married, and planning on staying in their situation. Not here to debate this decision..please just accept it as a given. I'm wanting to have a D/s relationship on the side, in secret. Usually my potential sub and I are equally hestitant to post/exchange photos, then with so many scammers here I tend to act as if she's is a scammer until proven otherwise which isn't often the best way to start off a relationship when she's real... I'll just keep trying it the way I am, unless someone has some other ideas?


After only getting to the bottom of page 2...

OP...I know exactly what you are feeling. I was in your exact same position. I cheated because I needed this in my life.
It was, by far, the worst mistake I have ever or will ever make in my life. It is an action that I will never forgive myself for.
The end result is that I'm now divorced and risked the happiness of my children for my own selfishness.
Do I regret getting divorced? Absolutely not. My marriage was obviously not working.
I do regret that I didn't divorce before I went out and got involved with others. I can't change that as much as I would like.
So I'm extremely aware of myself now and know that doing that to another person will never be an option for me ever again.
I have many sleepless nights.
I will always be upfront and honest with Shore.

My advice to you is to talk to your wife. Be honest with her and let her know how important this is to you. Give her the choice.
If she cannot have this in her life and you need it, then divorce her and then go and find another.
Too many people get hurt when the order of that is changed.

_____________________________



(in reply to BDSMPleasures)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Challenges in Finding a Submissive Female - 7/15/2010 10:20:46 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Aileen, I think I've told you this before, but I really admire you for being willing to post a comment like that.  It takes a lot of balls to stand up and say what you did there.  I appreciate the fact that you are willing to do so.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 120
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