RE: my quiz...again

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: my quiz...again

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: my quiz...again

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: my quiz...again - 7/20/2010 2:14:43 PM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

Jen,

Thanks for filling me on the history regarding this test. I appreciate you taking the time to do this. It's certainly not my intent to knock anyone for going after what they want and/or determining compatibility in whatever way they wish to. However, this said, I think it's a mistake for those who are kinky dating to throw out a list of kinks, match these with someone else's, similar list, and to then conclude "we're a great match". It has been my experience that this is an almost guaranteed recipe for dating disaster.

Elan.

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 21

RE: my quiz...again - 7/20/2010 4:24:23 PM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

slavekal,

quote:

...the whole point was to judge compatibility in this realm as opposed to other aspects of life. I realize that you can't know exactly what scores gave what results, but that is how quizzes like this are designed. They have to be. The quiz taker has to answer blindly for results to be valid.

I somewhat disagree with the notion that answers must be blind to be valid and I especially disagree with this in the context of BDSM. The things I choose to do are almost entirely dependent on the dynamics I have with a given partner. Now true enough, if a domme wants a panty-wearing boy toy to loan out to her friends as of day one, I'm not the right candidate. However, over time, as trust builds between us, were this requested, I might dive in. This is where I think the largest error in your quiz occurs. People aren't static and neither are relationships. I think you'd be much better to have a scale such as "will not do; will do, but there is no pleasure in this for me; haven't thought about the activity that much; curious to try; enjoy doing occasionally; this is one of my favourite activities". This kind of scale can also be misleading because it misses qualitative attributes, such as "willing to try but only with the right partner". Still, such a scale seems more meaningful than the presets you've given (which are often static, disjoint, and/or non-scalar).

Here's another place where your design is flawed. Let's take the Wonder Woman, Cat Woman, Xena, Bat Girl, et al question. Whom do I identify with? Each person has different reasons for identifying or not identifying with a given character. Some may not identify with any, but are forced to make a selection anyway. The net result of this question is totally meaningless data. Similarly, questions the ilk of "Your body most closely resembles that of..." followed by a list of Hollywood stars also seem designed to produce meaningless data. Some may interpret your selection list as skinny versus not skinny (because that's pretty much the selection of women you've given). Others may have specific reasons for identifying with an actress or performer, and this will cause them to select that person. Regardless, you'll never know what the answers mean.

quote:

Can you give me an example of a time where your view was not represented?

Sure. But, instead of addressing a specific question, I'll talk about style. Many of the questions give two, reasonably strong answers in the positive and one in the negative. The multiple, positive answers suggest these are, in fact, the correct answer in the eyes of the author, regardless of whether this is the case or not. The negative answer is usually hard negative. In many cases my answer wasn't hard negative and yet both of the positives didn't describe my view. Thus, by default, I ended up picking the lesser of the two positives.

In terms of presentation, I see the logic in separating fetish questions from political and other views, but this is part of what makes the test come across in such a loaded way. Your test is designed to give you information, but it also makes an impression on those taking it. Personally, I think a lot of the questions are better discussed face-to-face, once you've established rapport with someone. Also, I think you'd make a more balanced impression by combining fetish and vanilla questions.

Elan.

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 22

RE: my quiz...again - 7/20/2010 7:36:42 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

A lot of the questions have a strong yes, a weak yes, and a no. Unless we want to split every hair, for many issues, that is enough. If you ask a person if he/she likes opera, do you really need any more choices than A. yes, a lot...B. yes, but just a little, and C. no, not really? Sure, you could slice it up into a dozen choices, but is that really necessary?
The fact that many questions have that format has nothing to do with my preferences. For example, the tattoo issue. You can have many tats, one or two tats, or none. The truth is, I dislike tattoos. The none choice is most compatible with me.
As far as body types go, it's funny how many women see it as just fat versus skinny. That is just not so. I put up several different types ranging from very skinny, to kind of thin, to athletic, to voluptuous, to a little fat, to very fat. Kate Moss and Beyonce are not built anything alike. Yet, Beyonce is not fat.
Of course face to face can be better than a quiz in some ways...but on the other hand, people might answer a quiz more honestly. Not always easy to say some stuff out loud. And there is no chance of getting off the subject and going off on tangents with a quiz.

< Message edited by slavekal -- 7/20/2010 8:11:47 PM >

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to ElanSubdued)

Post #: 23

RE: my quiz...again - 7/20/2010 9:31:27 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I think it's rude and disrespectful to your Domme to ask other women if they're your dream Domme, but if she's ok with it, it really isn't my business.

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 24

RE: my quiz...again - 7/21/2010 5:50:02 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

It's no more rude than asking a man to do a test. I think some folks are taking this way too seriously. Those tests are meant to be fun. Nobody lives or dies because of the results. A lot of folks enjoy them. That's why there are hundreds, maybe thousands of people taking them every day.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 25

RE: my quiz...again - 7/21/2010 7:24:52 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Do you have one for the men to take, to see if they are a good fit for Ms M?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 26

RE: my quiz...again - 7/21/2010 10:29:16 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

slavekal,

quote:

A lot of the questions have a strong yes, a weak yes, and a no. Unless we want to split every hair, for many issues, that is enough. If you ask a person if he/she likes opera, do you really need any more choices than A. yes, a lot... B. yes, but just a little, and C. no, not really? Sure, you could slice it up into a dozen choices, but is that really necessary?

Well, clearly, the binary division you've given (essentially "super yes/yes" and "no") isn't enough because otherwise I wouldn't have commented as I did. While answering your quiz, I was continuously faced with questions where the binary presets didn't reflect my views. A large part of this is probably how you're asking the questions, which I'll address below.

quote:

The fact that many questions have that format has nothing to do with my preferences. For example, the tattoo issue. You can have many tats, one or two tats, or none. The truth is, I dislike tattoos. The none choice is most compatible with me.

If this is the nature of your question, then why not ask that question and do so clearly? In a lot of cases it is hard to tell what you're asking. "Do you like tattoos?" This is a simple, straightforward question for which, likely, a scale is a better choice for answering, but the binary format will work. "Do you have any tattoos" isn't the same question. Assuming that because someone has tattoos means they are a tattoo fan will lead to erroneous data. Also, coy, loaded presets the ilk of "I got more ink than skin", "One or two tasteful tats", "Would Audrey Hepburn mar her skin" cloud the issue again. Take, for example, the answer "One or two tasteful tats". You've mixed quantity with the person's qualitative feelings about tattoos - in this case you've attributed the positive "tasteful". What if a person has tattoos they'd like to get rid of or that they think are not tasteful? Perhaps what you're really saying is "if you have tattoos, regardless of whether you want to keep them or not, I want nothing to do with you". Okay. Fine. But you'd be better to state this clearly rather than asking ambiguously. You could then ask how the reader feels about this statement": strongly disagree, somewhat disagree, neither disagree nor agree, somewhat agree, strongly agree. For myself, given the way you asked the question and the loaded answers, none of the selections reflected my feelings so any answer I checked gave meaningless data.

quote:

As far as body types go, it's funny how many women see it as just fat versus skinny. That is just not so. I put up several different types ranging from very skinny, to kind of thin, to athletic, to voluptuous, to a little fat, to very fat. Kate Moss and Beyonce are not built anything alike. Yet, Beyonce is not fat.

What I get from your list is two categories: "meets the Hollywood norm" and "doesn't meet the Hollywood norm". I think it's a huge mistake to list Hollywood stars (and only Hollywood stars) as body type role models. This said, with one exception, on both sides of the equation you've given women who are strikingly gorgeous. Therefore, what comes across is "I want a Hollywood hot woman". When answering, I picked randomly because none of the women listed connected with me as a role model for my body type, which I believe is healthy, balanced, and not well reflected by Hollywood.

In the OP, you asked "what do y'all think?" This is my feedback. I realize you've written a "how to" book on meeting dominant women. I suggest that quizzes of this sort are *not* how to meet such a woman. For entertainment value only, were I a dominant woman, I might find the quiz amusing. However, if this were a serious test and one of my first contact points with a submissive, it would turn me off entirely. The test boxes women in fetish roles and shows flawed survey design. Neither quality would entice me.

Elan.

< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 7/21/2010 10:30:03 AM >

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 27

RE: my quiz...again - 7/21/2010 10:31:57 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

Andalusite,

quote:

I think it's rude and disrespectful to your Domme to ask other women if they're your dream Domme, but if she's ok with it, it really isn't my business.

+1

E.

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 28

RE: my quiz...again - 7/21/2010 10:35:17 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Do you have one for the men to take, to see if they are a good fit for Ms M?

Oooh, I'd do an 'Are You My Perfect Sub?' test. The craftier the questions, the better.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 29

RE: my quiz...again - 7/21/2010 10:41:08 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

While on another subject, I was reminded of this quiz I wrote a while back. What do y'all think?
http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/are-you-the-dominatrix-of-my-dreams-test

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal
Good idea! Maybe all the interested ones took it already. I made up another one...totally non sexual items.
http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-nonsexual-compatibility-test

I'm sorry, I couldn't complete either because there weren't enough "out of the box" answers. Actually...that, in itself, is an indicator as to compatibility.

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 30

RE: my quiz...again - 7/21/2010 10:45:21 AM

FetishRose

Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline

I'm not a domme....but I scored 43%
It really came across as a laundry list of fetishes and had a whole "do-me" mentality. I'd take it a lot more seriously if it were a genuine personality quiz, instead of a kink checklist. For example, your questions on how many slaves a domme would like to have is a valid and important one, whereas the questions on smoking, objectification, etc really aren't. I'd more likely to write questions along the lines of: "As a dominant woman, how do you feel it is best to work out disagreements within the confines of a D/s relationship?" etc etc.
I'd score it about a 4 out of 10.

_____________________________

Rose-y Pose-y, Puddin' Pie. Kissed Some Dommes and Made Them Cry.

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 31

RE: my quiz...again - 7/21/2010 11:19:57 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

FetishRose,

--- I'm not a domme... but I scored 43%

On my last try, I scored 47%, which is my lowest score out of three tries. I'm not worthy. :-)

--- It really came across as a laundry list of fetishes and had
--- a whole "do-me" mentality. I'd take it a lot more seriously
--- if it were a genuine personality quiz, instead of a kink checklist.

This is my feeling too.

--- For example, your questions on how many slaves a
--- domme would like to have is a valid and important
--- one, whereas the questions on smoking, objectification,
--- etc really aren't.

Here, you and I disagree slightly. The smoking issue is, for a great many, just as important as number of partners. Similarly, if objectification is your kink, I see nothing wrong with stating this/asking about it.

--- I'd more likely to write questions along the lines of: "As
--- a dominant woman, how do you feel it is best to work
--- out disagreements within the confines of a D/s relationship?"
--- etc etc.

Bingo. These kinds of real world, D/s mechanics are entirely missing and consequently the quiz tends to comes across as unrealistic and/or a fetish-oriented, do-me list.

E.

(in reply to FetishRose)

Post #: 32

RE: my quiz...again - 7/21/2010 7:34:22 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

First, this is a compatibility test. Whether someone thinks I am a "do me" type is kind of irrelevant. If I am, that would only mean that I would be compatible with a Mistress who likes that type. But the test does not smack of "do me". There are questions about age and body type. That has nothing to do with "do me". Questions regarding whether a woman enjoys foot worship, whether she likes to have men do her housework, whether she has ever been a pro domme, if she is gay, straight or bi, if she insists on being called "Mistress", whether or not she is a switch, whether or not she would consider a break from BDSM, if she likes parties.....how does all that add up to a "do me" slave? Do you have tattoos? Do you have piercings? Do you use any drugs? How do you dress? None of these things have anything to do with being a "do me' slave. Personal grooming, attitudes, education level. How can you read all that (and more) and still come away with the conclusion that the test was just about "do me"?

I think very general questions (How do you handle disagreements?) are kind of dry and are vague. I think specifics are much easier to communicate and envision. Do you like this, do you enjoy that and how much? What kind of disagreements do you mean? Ten people could interpret that question eleven different ways

One thing I really tried to avoid was not covering all bases on multiple choices. I hope I did not make that error on any questions.
Bones, give me an example of an "out of the box" answer? I don't know what you mean by that. Can you give a specific question where an out of the box question would fit?

< Message edited by slavekal -- 7/21/2010 7:42:37 PM >

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to ElanSubdued)

Post #: 33

RE: my quiz...again - 7/21/2010 7:55:14 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Elan, you are reading WAY too much into some questions. The "more ink that skin" was supposed to be humorous. And whether or not "tasteful" is a value laden word is not all that important. The heart of the question is, do you have any tattos, and if so, how many? If you think you can pick up a clue about my feelings on a certain attribute or attitude is fine. Won't change the result if you answer honestly.
You don't like the super yes, yes, no format. But give me one question where that would not yield an accurate answer. Either you like something a lot, you like it a moderate amout, or you don't care for it.
As far as body types, I don't know you, and I don't know your Aunt Agnes. I don't know what you consider healthy. I have to go with famous people so that we can have a common point of reference. Who do you think I should have added to the mix? Perhaps one of the sitcom wives or a comedienne or two? I have no problem adding a type or two that I may have omitted.

< Message edited by slavekal -- 7/21/2010 8:08:29 PM >

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 34

RE: my quiz...again - 7/22/2010 6:06:18 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal
Bones, give me an example of an "out of the box" answer? I don't know what you mean by that. Can you give a specific question where an out of the box question would fit?

One example, on the non-sexual test, would be the question concerning alcohol and tobacco. I understand lumping both of them, along with marijuana and cocaine, into a controlled substance category but then the question becomes so black/white. I'm not going to start a discussion on the benefits of medicial marijuana use but I would put that into a gray area...an out of the box sort of thing.

The question on religion is also a black/white sort of thing...the option of choosing 'other' or 'spiritual but not religious' would have been welcomed.

As for the first quiz, that's personal and geared specifically for you and no one else so I would expect less gray thinking...you have a goal/purpose for that test and it's not to please everyone but to find one to please. Like I said, maybe the fact that I couldn't answer many of the questions points to the lack of compatibility, which is fine. I didn't see it so much as a "do-me" quiz but more as a "let me make this very clear so as to not confuse" sort of thing.
One comment I would like to make, though, concerns the body-type question. I'm not as up on hollywood types as other people and the only reason I knew who some of the women mention were is because I'm around teens/young adults who see mags like US Magazine as their bible.
It might have been intersting to pull some women from other venues (art, history, classic feminine imagery) to use as examples. Then again, the quiz was created for a specific not a general purpose therefore the images chosen reflect that.

That's what I meant by "out of the box" thinking....not mainstream or black/white.

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 35

RE: my quiz...again - 7/22/2010 6:25:28 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

There is a choice for not religious on the non sexual test. That is my fave, because I am not religious.
Interesting you bring up the drug question. I did add another option on the dream domme test yesterday.
Any suggestions for non mainstream women to use as examples? I went mainstream because most people would know who they are. Common frame of reference. If I got too obscure or esoteric, takers of the test would probably not know who I was talking about. Nine out of ten Americans would recognize a pic of Paris Hilton. Anne Boleyn, one out of ten if you're lucky.

< Message edited by slavekal -- 7/22/2010 6:29:53 AM >

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 36

RE: my quiz...again - 7/22/2010 7:30:50 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal
It's no more rude than asking a man to do a test. I think some folks are taking this way too seriously. Those tests are meant to be fun. Nobody lives or dies because of the results. A lot of folks enjoy them. That's why there are hundreds, maybe thousands of people taking them every day.

Nothing wrong with little quizzes in general, like "what breed of dog would you be?" or the one about drawing a pig and correlating the length of its tail to your libido. If I were dating someone, and they put up a quiz about their dream woman, to me, that would imply that I was *NOT* their dream woman, and that they were looking for a replacement. I would feel it was very disrespectful, and would discuss it with them. If they were flippant about it and refused to take it down, I would most likely break up with them. Gender doesn't have much to do with it, except that I assume that you're looking for other women rather than men, since you're straight. People sometimes flirt a bit here even if they're in a relationship. I don't generally think it's a big deal, though sometimes it goes a bit far for my tastes, but this particular quiz really crosses the line for me. Obviously, either your Domme doesn't care, or you're in a relationship where you're allowed to seek out other Dommes. You did ask for opinions about it, though. *shrugs*

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 37

RE: my quiz...again - 7/22/2010 7:42:27 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

I was gonna say something but I figured that MsM or slaveKal can speak for themselves.

Having seen their dynamic, intimately, I promise you all, if MsM had ANY problem with slaveKal creating the quiz or posting anything like it, he wouldn't be doing it.

***Recalling some jokes from a birthday party a few years back***

boi

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 38

RE: my quiz...again - 7/22/2010 8:04:05 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

Yeah, that's why I said that if she doesn't have a problem with it, fine. I was just saying that's my gut reaction to the idea of someone I was with making this particular sort of quiz. Since he did ask for opinions, that's mine, and MsM obviously doesn't share it.

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 39

RE: my quiz...again - 7/22/2010 9:18:36 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

I can assure you, she does not mind. We both enjoy stuff like that. She knows I am not looking for a replacement. I showed it to her before I posted it. I promise you, she is not worried. It might have even been her idea.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: my quiz...again

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.105