PeonForHer
Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
This is the first time I've seen you entertain the idea that I should have done anything other than just ignore that woman. OK. I didn't do any of that. I should have done, at the very least.
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I didn't say it because I thought it was obvious-c'mon, Peon, that's the *mantra* of this place!
Not at the time. To me, that would have felt nastier than my comment to her.
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I'm sorry, Peon, but I don't buy the 'this one was different' argument. If you have an electronic sensor that suddenly reacts differently to a single event out of thousands you don't believe the sensor-you assume the wiring's faulty unless you can prove otherwise.
Whether you buy it or not, that's what I saw. I'm happy with my wiring - seriously. You might as well try to convince me that I can't tell a cowpat from carnation. I can promise you that it won't ever happen.
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It's 'reaching' to assume that she'd think that the person who sent her the message was anyone other than the person who was depicted in the profile attached to that message.
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Are you being serious? Are you really that naive? Do you *know* how many fake pictures are up on this site? Take a look around, Peon, and then see if you can repeat that statement with a straight face.
But why would she start to think that? What would be the motivation to pursue that particular bit of extra paranoia? Sorry, VC - I just don't see that as plausible.
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My photos hardly look as though they were all pulled off the net.
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I hate to tell you this, but they sort of do. I know they aren't because I've met you, but up until I *did* meet you I wasn't absolutely positive that I was going to get what was on the box..
Thank you. But that's crap and we both know it. 
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There is all sorts of unpleasantness on the internet. Normally I would say to someone saying what you are saying that if you can't cope then you should get off your computer, but in this case I don't *want* to say that because you're a valued part of my life, which you wouldn't have been if you'd followed that advice at the time.
Likewise, presumably, she shouldn't get off the internet because she's unable to cope with some comment from me.
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Yes . . . once again, I do understand that you now feel me to be malicious, nasty, etc, etc. I didn't say that. You're still you, but I find this *action* to be malicious, nasty etc. There is a difference.
OK, fair enough on that last.
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Once again, I think you need to assume that this person may not have reacted the way you did with your bona fide teacher. She certainly didn't read like the sort who'd scare easily. She did the scaring, not vice versa.
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And you know this how? You didn't know her, you didn't know anything about what she was like other than her idea of what might be attractive to men on a kink site.
I thought that she said that because it was genuinely what she was into, not because she just thought that's what would attract the subs. Dommes were frequently and emphatically telling me that, at the time. (My old hang-up that real dommes didn't exist, you see. I'd developed the habit of trying to believe dommes when they said they were into something.)
I was kind of new at CM, then. I felt pretty vulnerable because I was going through a humdinger of a stage of 'just discovering my ultra-sub-self'. Here was a woman who talked about 'destroying' a man. She also mentioned that it was her desire to 'break a sub'. I'd only just read about that latter phrase. I'd recently asked a domme friend what it meant. All she'd told me was that I should steer very clear of a woman who said anything like that. Yep, that particular one did bring me up a little edgy.
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What did you acheive, Peon? Did you stop her hurting anyone? Did you get her profile taken down? Did you cause her to think about the way she presented herself? Did you even make her aware of your concerns? No-you just made a petty, potentially hurtful remark out of the blue that did no good to anyone.
She wasn't nearly on the wavelength where she'd have given a flying one about my concerns, VC. She read like someone who courted bile. She wasn't at all like you in your present profile, never mind any earlier one in which you weren't being - er - prickly. I think you're identifying too much with her because of something that got right to you when you, yourself, were in a very vulnerable position. I see that now. You imagine her having the sort of fear you had, way back then. I don't think that fits, here.
I think we need proportion regarding all these possibilities. The only fact that we have - or, rather, that I have, since you don't 'buy' it - is that it was a profile that read more nastily than I've ever seen, before or since. By a clear league.
OK, my appraisal and my conjecturing: What the chances of her being hurt by my comment? Small, or zero. Because of the nature of her profile, she will without doubt have attracted shedloads of cmails that were far nastier. So assume she read it - rather than just binned it along with the tonnes of cmails young Dommes, especially, seem to get - would she have worried? Maybe not. Maybe she would have burst out laughing. (There was a smiley appended, I should add.) As, indeed, did one of the Dommes who'd seen her profile - the only one who wasn't horrified, by her profile, that is.
But if she were to have worried - how much, and for how long? She went to my profile and saw who I was. But would she have considered the idea that I wasn't the person depicted in the photo? I think unlikely. I don't see much of a motivation for her to start thinking along those lines.
Was she really as nasty, underneath, as he profile made her out to be? There were signs, to me, that she was. Yes, there were clear signs, and signs that shouted even more loudly to all but one of the dommes to whom I'd sent the link. But if you ask me, 'How did you know' - I'd say, how the hell does any of us know anything here at CM? It's the virtual world, not the real one. We have to go on what we're given. But, assuming that she was that nasty - could she have grown up since then? My guess is, yes. I'd hope so - on balance, I think so.
I still don't like hitting that 'report this profile' button unless in the direst circumstances or unless I see an obvious scam. To me, such reporting feels like my being more of a policeman than I'd want to be. But how about this, then - my olive branch. This issue is in the past and nothing can be done about it. Likewise, I'm already damned for my earlier sins. However, you may rest totally well-assured, for feck's sake, that I'll never write to another domme saying 'Didn't I teach you at school?'.
Furthermore, instead of my asking that you (or anyone else) 'purchase' my take on a person from her profile - because you're concerned that my 'wiring' has gone astray, or whatever - how about I just forward the link to such a woman's profile if I ever see one that bad again? Or, indeed, if I see the particular profile under discussion here, again? Then you can make up your own mind re said woman's profile. After you've seen that particular woman's profile it, if you still think it's appropriate, I'll write to her, apologising for my evil quip of many moons ago. What do you think?
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