RE: help

RE: help (Full Version)

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antinomy -> RE: help (7/19/2010 3:04:58 PM)
Not easily. It really depends on the circumstances. If it's an abuse situation, all the advice given so far is wonderful. If it's not, and you feel you are stuck there financially? Or because of circumstances that make it difficult to leave? Hard work and determination. You have to believe in yourself, be persistent, do whatever it takes to get unstuck. Sometimes we really are victims, and when that's the case, there are agencies to help. Sometimes, we just feel like victims, and when that's the case, you have to change your mindset, and find the opportunities that are hiding in the not so obvious places to change our own circumstances.

markbugger -> RE: help (7/19/2010 3:36:37 PM)
Interesting dilemma, unfortunately we need more details to determine a good answer. Are you chained to a bed, or have both of your legs been broken and you have no crutches? I am amazed at the number of people that naturally assume that since this person is a female, she is helpless and must rely on an outside agency to be the agent of change for her. If you have no skills at all there is always a need for manual labor. You are young, with hopefully a decent mind, if you have any ambition at all start walking east till you get to Arizona, with the number of illegal immigrants leaving there will be plenty of low paying jobs available for you to start out in such as washing dishes or busing tables. You can sleep at the YWCA the first couple nights till you get a job. Then move to a inexpensive hotel, save your money until you can afford an apartment and decide what you really want to do with the rest of your life. Cheers, Mark

DarlingSavage -> RE: help (7/19/2010 3:41:30 PM)
quote: But you know... the last laugh was by me and on them. I'm in excellent shape in my 40s. I don't think I look bad at all. But thanks for suggesting that I'm not pretty. And doing so publicly.

angelikaJ -> RE: help (7/19/2010 3:45:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage quote: But you know... the last laugh was by me and on them. I'm in excellent shape in my 40s. I don't think I look bad at all. But thanks for suggesting that I'm not pretty. And doing so publicly. DS, I did not read that in her post at all. (and for the record, I don't think you look bad)

Lockit -> RE: help (7/19/2010 3:49:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage quote: But you know... the last laugh was by me and on them. I'm in excellent shape in my 40s. I don't think I look bad at all. But thanks for suggesting that I'm not pretty. And doing so publicly. I asked how you would like it if... I did not say you were not pretty. So... you didn't like what you think I implied. I wonder how the op felt when you publicly said what you said.

hlen5 -> RE: help (7/19/2010 3:50:00 PM)
I went back to re-read the comments. I thought Lockit was referring to those who treated her like a child... Regardless of what Angelika and I read into those comments, only DS and Lockit can iron that out.

sunshinemiss -> RE: help (7/19/2010 4:00:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage quote: But you know... the last laugh was by me and on them. I'm in excellent shape in my 40s. I don't think I look bad at all. But thanks for suggesting that I'm not pretty. And doing so publicly. It ain't all about you. *eye roll.

DesFIP -> RE: help (7/20/2010 8:26:55 AM)
I find DS went out of her way to be nasty here and Lockit acted like an adult. The op looks like 18 or 19. It is perfectly possible that she has no family who would let her stay. If so, go flip burgers, work double shifts as a waitress. Pay an acquaintance to allow you to bunk on their couch. In the meantime call grandparents and extended family and ask if you could move in. Offer to do all the chores in exchange for housing. And do what they say until you've gotten the money saved to get a place of your own. If you wind up with housing only, then working in the food industry will allow you to save on food as they'll probably provide food with the job.

DarlingSavage -> RE: help (7/20/2010 8:35:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I find DS went out of her way to be nasty here and Lockit acted like an adult. The op looks like 18 or 19. It is perfectly possible that she has no family who would let her stay. If so, go flip burgers, work double shifts as a waitress. Pay an acquaintance to allow you to bunk on their couch. In the meantime call grandparents and extended family and ask if you could move in. Offer to do all the chores in exchange for housing. And do what they say until you've gotten the money saved to get a place of your own. If you wind up with housing only, then working in the food industry will allow you to save on food as they'll probably provide food with the job. No I didn't. I was genuinely concerned that this was an actual child. Since when did being thought young become an insult? However, I think that the responses I've gotten from some of you have been particularly nasty and certainly unwarranted Are you really so naive? ANYONE can get a profile on here. All you have to do is say you're of age. You don't have to provide proof. I confess, I was kind of half joking with the CPS comment, but I was also kinda dead serious. That looks like a real child to me and the OP has not come on to say differently. And what if it is? Then what? This is almost bordering on that argument on old men with young girls where eventually, one poster started to defend sex with 16, 14, 13, and 9 yr olds by bringing up the alleged ages of consent in other states and third world countries. And y'all want to defend that?

DarlingSavage -> RE: help (7/20/2010 9:26:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThePetDemogorgon how do you get out of a place were you dont want to be not know anyone and have no resources to get help from and no were to go What if this really is a kid? Granted, there have been some very kind and helpful posts here, but I find it very upsetting that this could really be a kid and then people want to go off on me for making such a suggestion?!? I went back and read what I wrote and I really didn't say anything wrong. There is something seriously wrong with a couple of you, I don't know what it is, but y'all must have something wrong to find something ugly in what I said.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: help (7/20/2010 9:33:37 AM)
Maybe the problem is that you called someone out as if they were a liar with no logical reason to do that? Some folks look younger than they are, some folks act younger than they are. It just is not fair to assume she is lying about her age, any more than it would be fair to assume someone was lying about being in their 40's just because what they type seemed like what a 14 yo would type. YMMV

DarlingSavage -> RE: help (7/20/2010 9:37:31 AM)
I didn't call anyone a liar, I just stated the obvious. I'm sorry if people have a problem with that. Like I said, you have to dig pretty deep to find something ugly in what I said. And what if the OP really is a child? No one seems to be able to come up with a response to that. You know what else? I wasn't even talking about the spelling in the OP, I was more referring to the set of circumstances the OP was describing.

Lockit -> RE: help (7/20/2010 1:15:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage What if this really is a kid? Granted, there have been some very kind and helpful posts here, but I find it very upsetting that this could really be a kid and then people want to go off on me for making such a suggestion?!? I went back and read what I wrote and I really didn't say anything wrong. There is something seriously wrong with a couple of you, I don't know what it is, but y'all must have something wrong to find something ugly in what I said. I am having trouble staying on cm so I don't know if this will go through or not. I will try to be brief when I would actually like to give a longer answer. DarlingSavage, you can't have it both ways... thinking this is seriously a child who needs help and being concerned to half joking about their age and recommending children's protective services. Which is it? Okay, lets say this is a child. We are concerned adults. What do we do? Joke with the child? Give good advice? Send a message to the moderators? I think there are some solutions in there, don't you? I don't see how you can think I said you were not pretty when I was talking about how the op might have felt regarding your post. You see nothing wrong in it, I see something not overly wrong in it, but something I felt worth commenting on. I was coming from a what if.. how would you feel if someone thought something and then joked or acted on it. How you can say I said or implied you were not pretty seems to me a personal issue, not something I said or implied. I see you projecting a lot in this thread. Projecting it is a child, projecting things I said when I did not and carrying on some upset that could easily be dealt with by using the site functions of report, email, letters to support and no assuming it is okay to consider what you see as almost a truth and being concerned about it and then joke about it. I saw the joke part as more intent than your first post and therefore you got my response. Don't like it.. email me again... bitch here or there, I care not. I would try to be reasonable with you, but as concerned as you are and as insulted as you are, could I really get to the heart of the matter? I seriously doubt it, unfortunately. I don't intend to insult or hurt people and I didn't mean to hurt or insult you. My only intention was to bring up a concern I had about how this adult or child could feel about what you said. Done deal.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: help (7/20/2010 1:37:39 PM)
~FR~ If the person she is with is still supporting her, the state for one might not want to help her out. i know when i was married & he was beating the crap outta me, i called DSHS (our state social services) for help and they told me if he was still supporting me there was nothing they could do. i threatened to do him in the next time he beat on me, and i got the number for six women's shelters state-wide within the next five minutes. i do NOT advocate violence, but sometimes you do hafta push and shove to get the help you need. ~sweetsub~

lally2 -> RE: help (7/20/2010 2:07:03 PM)
.... for what its worth i think she looks plenty old enough to be here, not that thats the point and if she does come back and read this thread shes going to be wondering WTF!! shes asking for help and people are disagreeing about her age range. do you have citizens advice over there in the states, if she is in the states that is. otherwise id go to the local church or police station and ask for the nearest womans shelter. if you want to protect an abuser i dont think you need to give away too much, im not sure about that though. and just to add i didnt see anything wrong in what DS said, but i would suppose that since the woman wrote here she is probably in a Ds or Ms situation, which makes her access to this place relevant, whatever her age group

DarkSteven -> RE: help (7/20/2010 5:53:58 PM)
She has no profile and she's not been back....

DesFIP -> RE: help (7/20/2010 6:10:39 PM)
The suggestion that a minor has no one to turn to is laughable and that's why we didn't believe Savage. A minor can go to the nearest police officer and explain she is homeless and why. She can explain that she fled because of advances made by a stepfather, because of a mother's drug use, whatever. Minors get housing in foster homes. They get roofs over their heads and meals. That may well be all they get during the summer but come the school year they have access to school therapists etc. Minors would not have the problem the OP stated she has.

DarlingSavage -> RE: help (7/20/2010 6:54:53 PM)
Do minors know this? Cause I sure didn't when I was a minor.

angelikaJ -> RE: help (7/20/2010 7:25:28 PM)
If anyone wanted to know what was going on with the OP, perhaps they could pm her and ask. I don't really see the point of speculating about her age, when it is in all likelyhood irrelevant to the issue. As mentioned previously, her join-up date is October 2004. DarlingSavage, Despite what you might think, I like your presence here. You are smart and witty and are a caring person....but in my opinion and I am being compassionate when I say this... you are seeing monsters in almost every closet. Please find some way to get yourself the healing and peace you deserve. (I would have said this privately but am unable.)

xxblushesxx -> RE: help (7/20/2010 8:04:10 PM)
Yeah, I got a children's menu when I was 20. Those are for kids 12 and under. I was mortified. These days...I count my blessings.

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