RE: "Do me" slaves (Full Version)

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ElanSubdued -> RE: "Do me" slaves (7/22/2010 2:34:47 PM)

Jen,

quote:

Kal, man, I can't tell you how humored I'm starting to get reading the responses you're getting.  I know you love the intellectual discourse of discussing kinky stuff and relationships and people and all.  This and that other thread are just getting funny, though.  Would it be inappropriate for you to post a link to your's and MsM's blogs from here?  Maybe a little more insight might help the observers see the situation for what it is?


I take it Kal has your respect.  Indeed, it sounds like Kal and Ms. M have a healthy, functioning, BDSM relationship as domme and submissive.  This is wonderful to hear.  Still, I ain't gonna' endorse the grade school, "it's all about her" stuff 'cause newbie submissives may read this and fall prey to the fantasy.

E.




BoiJen -> RE: "Do me" slaves (7/22/2010 2:48:04 PM)

Actually,

Because of how they have their dynamic structured, and their living situations, whenever slaveKal is around MsM and even sometimes when he's not, his relationship with her literally is ALL about her. I envy his ability to be so cool about things sometimes. He's a good man, a strong man, and damned good s-types. And MsM is awesome too. If there was an archetype for FemDom/malesub relationships, theirs would be it.

You can't see it all here cuz all we have is words. AND there's SO much of his internal focus on MsM and he lets that show in a really healthy, productive way.

He's one of those guys who really has his shit together and goes for what he wants. He wants to focus on MsM and make her the happiest FemDom ever and damn if there's anything gonna stop him.

So yeah, to say I have respect for slaveKal is an understatement.

But this is all off topic.

On Topic: Knowing the story...I think that what you did, Kal, is that you exposed her to some new ideas based upon what you knew her interests were already. But you did it in way that wasn't narrow. I think encouraging MsM to foster the FemDom friendships that you both had helped that a lot too. I'd equate what you did with MsM to handing a kid Legos and letting them figure out how to build something, rather than handing them a finished Lego house and saying "here, play with this".

boi




PeonForHer -> RE: "Do me" slaves (7/22/2010 3:22:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
I'd equate what you did with MsM to handing a kid Legos and letting them figure out how to build something, rather than handing them a finished Lego house and saying "here, play with this".


That sails very close to be being astonishingly patronising to Dommes, Jen - though you being who you are and having the relationship you have, you can get away with it. [;)] 

What I really want to express is just how much I'd love to be in that position: of saying to a new Domme, 'Hey, here's the Lego set'.  So wonderful.




BoiJen -> RE: "Do me" slaves (7/22/2010 3:25:19 PM)

Should I have phrased it as "here's a pile of junk" instead of "here's a car"?

LOL

boi




PeonForHer -> RE: "Do me" slaves (7/22/2010 3:31:09 PM)

Hmmmmm.  Actually, on second thoughts, stick with the Lego.  [:D]




LadyHibiscus -> RE: "Do me" slaves (7/22/2010 3:34:35 PM)

This is cool since I was there when Ms M first came out! She might have been new, but she took to everything! Enthusiasm, and a sheer love of what she does. Kal, you know you are not a dime a dozen kind of guy---though Ms M could probably get anyone! ;)




AlexandraLynch -> RE: "Do me" slaves (7/22/2010 9:28:07 PM)

I don't have trouble with service. But I've read enough and studied enough history to understand the way people used personal slaves and servants, and so I have something of a blueprint from that.

This does, however, stymie some boys who think that the first time they come over they're going to get to fuck me. Now, I am not at all against using a slave that way. like penetration. But if they find me on a day where I have had it with the state of my kitchen cabinets? They're going to help me clean the cabinets. And I'll paddle them afterwards for slowness of responses or mistakes. And that's as kinky as it gets that day.




slavekal -> RE: "Do me" slaves (7/22/2010 9:29:05 PM)

No more praise for me, please. I won't be able to fit into any of my hats! Jen, you are the greatest...and Lady Hibiscus is right. Ms. M had a lot of enthusiasm, even in the beginning, and she is very genuine and unpretentious. She had a serious Mistress inside of her since she was a child, but Ms. M's domme desires had been squelched for years. I was happy to be the conduit to her realizing how much power she has. And probably her greatest desire, cuckolding, having several men at a time, took a lot of patience to realize. She had so much vanilla guilt and societal conditioning to overcome about "cheating"Being a cuckold slave is not easy...but it was worth it. It makes her SOOOO happy. Maybe I should coin a new term. Instead of being a "do me" guy, maybe I'm a "do him" type of slave.




LadyPact -> RE: "Do me" slaves (7/23/2010 9:33:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal
Any other ladies have similar experiences?

No, this isn't My experience.  Not with the service aspect.

I understand your line of thinking that if you had been that type, that it might have been easier for Ms M to settle into her role.  That's the very problem with it.  When you provide the blueprint, it does become something of a performance, rather than her finding the way to the Domme that she is going to be.  There really is a vast difference between nurturing someone's potential, rather than creating a type of expectation.  In My opinion, there is more than enough of the latter when it comes to someone first entering the world of female Domination.

Allowing a woman to find her own niche in accepting service allows her to step into the position of doing so much more naturally.  For example, I lean heavily towards accepting service with grace.  It's My personality type.  If I don't accept service in that fashion, there is usually an underlying tone that I am setting.  It could be reinforcing the power structure, objectification, creating a certain mindset, or a number of other things.  I've found this works very well for Me when it is done at My discretion.  Not especially a method that someone could have mapped out for Me when I first started.




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