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RE: turning a friend with benefits into more - 4/23/2006 4:06:02 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Women making men chase them doesn't get a long term reaction? Someone once told me that if a guy has to work hard at getting a woman, he sticks around. Maybe they were wrong, who knows? I do plan to start acting like I don't care as much about him though. Will be interesting to see what he does when I barely touch him the next time he comes over lol


Ive struggled with that one too until I realized there should be no playing hard to get, BE hard to get. In other words build your own life, your own set of friends, and don't put all your eggs in one basket until you have a REASON to do so. This person hasn't given you a reason to do so. I find that people usually know what they want when they see it and they are not shy in going after it. If someone doesn't want to put that energy into you they have pretty much decided what they wanted by their lack of energy. I learned this in my 20s by dating a guy off and on for three years that had went through a divorce, and I wanted to give him "time" to recover... He recovered fine enough to marry someone else about 2 months after our last goodbyes...lol. He was able to go on fine, it wasn't the amount of time, it was just that he did not want to marry me...smiles.

My advice, be his friend and if it turns out to be more let him decide that, and make other friends and keep your options open.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
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