RE: From hard limit, to curious? (Full Version)

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xXsoumisXx -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (7/29/2010 11:06:26 AM)

~FR

for me there are many things that i used to call hard limits, that have evolved into things i like, and even need. Humiliation is one example. I did not like it in the begining. I did not even like talking about it. But it was such a huge turn on for Him, that i started to like that part of it, how excited my Master would be when i was experiencing humiliation at his hand. That slowly evolved, and now i like it for it's own sake, I like how it makes me feel.
There are still a few things i call hard limits, that I ponder, and they may be removed eventually from my ever shrinking list of hard limits.






junecleaver -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (7/29/2010 3:56:17 PM)

I'm pretty sure I've never had a hard limit and changed my mind.  I was very anti-poly a few years ago.  Now I would consider involving myself in a poly relationship but not for a long term life partner set up.  Or I might even consider having multiple sexual partners but being monogamous emotionally and amorously.  It is on the table now where as before it wasn't.  Maybe that counts?

Activity wise...there is really not much I wouldn't do for the right person.  I wouldn't enjoy everything.  I find a lot of people want to do 'x' and have you enjoy it.  And it just doesn't work that way for me.  If it hurts, it hurts.  If it's gross, it's gross.  My mind won't change, but I might do it if you ask me in the 'dom' voice. :)

I think people have a tendency to line up a bunch of hard limits because they do not want to make a mistake or bring themselves harm.  And that's not a bad idea.  To me...'I don't want to do that' has never been a good enough reason to place something off limits.  But I am twue and lots of people aren't.



jujubeeMB -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (7/29/2010 3:59:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
Not me. I do enough kinky things that my few hard limits don't need to be stretched, believe me!

If I was curious about something, I would try it. The things that are hard limits I am not the least bit curious about.


This.



Missokyst -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (7/29/2010 6:13:46 PM)

Limits are just limits unless they are hard.  Not liking something is insufficient to call it a hard limit, there should be reasons up and beyond simple distaste. 
My view on the idea of hard limits being any little thing you have not reached yet but cannot imagine doing "right now is this:

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds
hard limit



DesFIP -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (7/29/2010 6:55:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

To me...'I don't want to do that' has never been a good enough reason to place something off limits.



With someone new, I think this is a perfectly good reason to put something off limits.

Now with the right person, at the right time, if approached the right way I might well say I will be open to explore it. But that doesn't mean tomorrow with a guy I met yesterday. And unfortunately, for too many men, this is exactly what it means. They don't get the right man, right time, right approach. So it's simply easier to limit it and not deal with those kinds.



Dragonswhore -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (7/29/2010 8:33:09 PM)

i used to think watersports and even rimming anyone would be totally off limits. They weren't on my list for any reason except they grossed me out. Now, i find the thought of Sir pissing on me, or having me rim Him as huge turn on. For me it's knowing that i am totally owned..if my Sir wants me to take His urine in or on me...or shows me my place by having me lick him, then that's what i will do, what i must do.

We have some limits in place, and for good reason. The other things are just me knowing that it doesn't matter if it grosses me out, or even humiliates me a tad, it's that it brings Him pleasure, for me that's what matters.



junecleaver -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (7/29/2010 8:49:06 PM)

I don't disagree with you.  I can understand the merit in wording it that way.

As a top, someone with a lot of limits right off the bat is a turn off.  I wouldn't want them to do something that they didn't really want to do.  But I don't want to play with someone who is going to limit what I can do. 

As a submissive, I like to let someone who really enjoys 'x' know that I'm not closed off to 'x' and might even enjoy it at a later date.  To me...saying it's a limit or a hard limit doesn't give the message I want it to.

I'm really just tired and rambling. :)

So it's really one of those to each their own compatibility issues.





tazzygirl -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (7/29/2010 10:37:10 PM)

I have to admit at times im a profile slut. How long have you been on this site?



junecleaver -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (7/30/2010 1:52:08 PM)

Hm probably six or seven years.  I posted a lot more when I was younger.  Hence the paddles.  :)



tazzygirl -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (8/1/2010 10:45:35 AM)

nm...

wrong place to expect honesty.



kiwisub12 -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (8/1/2010 11:11:35 AM)

I recently revised my profile including the lists of likes and dislikes - and one i listed as a hard limit when i started (five years ago) is now a like. Who knew blindfolds could be so .... arousing.

and there are several other things that i would consider participating in that were once verboten.  As i learned more and became more comfortable with what we were doing, my limits drifted.



junecleaver -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (8/1/2010 12:13:10 PM)

I don't understand your comment.  I just checked my profile and I joined in '05.  I spoke off the top of my head and was off by like a year or so?



Sasinak -> RE: From hard limit, to curious? (8/2/2010 7:07:41 PM)

watersports, public scenes....my original limits were quite a big list. after 8 years of training, i've learned that the right woman can get me to do anythinghttp://www.collarchat.com/micons/m11.gif



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