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A domme look - 7/29/2010 10:40:51 AM

rhpaw

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There was a question earlier about how to tell a sub in vanilla settings. i have often wondered if all or most dommes when checking a potential subs ever look away or not break eye contact with the sub to see if he does break eye contact with you and do you like to give him that hungry look of superior confidence to let them know who you are. Teasing them with the idea that you could eat them alive.

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 10:43:46 AM

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If you mean do I flirt with strangers, the answer is yes.

If you mean do I have some kind of magical sub-dar that tells me that that strange man is likely to be a) submissive and b) a good submissive choice for ME, then no. I pretty much just flirt with strangers. Met a charming bus driver on my holiday last week.

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 11:02:27 AM

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What is a hungry look of superior confidence? The two just don't seem to go together for me.

I am a straightforward person and even in flirting, I am straightforward. I tend to use humor, eye contact, expressions and body placement. I will expect a certain amount of eye contact from a man and once that has been established, I watch physical and emotional expressions or mannerisms. If I seem to be effecting any change in him and it isn't an in general change, I will go further. I am not past a little cat and mouse play because it's fun!

I watch a man or people even, to see who and what they are all about. It is important that he watches me as well. If he is always turning away or lowering his eyes, he can't capture much of what I put off about myself. Submission isn't all about submitting, but includes knowing me, for that submission to be worth more to us both. (In service for example.) To know someone you really need to be aware of expressions and what can be seen about them that comes from the non verbal.

When a man kneels for me, there is nothing better than his eye to eye contact as he is moving to a kneeling position. The fact that he is kneeling means more to me when he is direct, seeks that eye to eye connection which means a lot of things to me (and him) and boldly announces... I am strong, I see you and I kneel because of who you are. I want him proud in his submission and don't care for anything that makes the impression or results in his being far less than I so he must shy away or become less so that I am more.

Now, if there is a problem or he has done something wrong... then the lowered eyes will come into place. Until then, I want to see his eyes, his expressions and know what cannot be seen with eyes and head lowered.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 7/29/2010 11:07:05 AM >

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 11:05:12 AM

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Lockit you've brought up a memory, that sort of ties in. LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU is a biggie with me. But so many subs get "trained" in that downcast eyes thing! Maddening.

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 11:17:24 AM

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I agree Lady Hib! To me, dominance is not a bully stance. It is a way of being... I am who I am and my dominance doesn't need weak submission in the sense that I need to be in a place where I beat him down. I want to bring him up. The submission that comes from a man strong in his own right or self, means far more to me than that which comes from a place of insecurity, fear or a lack of some sort. When the eyes lowered comes into play, which isn't and wouldn't be often, it is typically something I think means more to him than to me. That is also a time when I feel a lot of care and concern must be shown in gentleness once some situation has been addressed. Kind of an after care.

I hope I am making sense... I need more coffee! Actually, a man bringing it to me and kneeling to present it, eye to eye would be nice! lol

< Message edited by Lockit -- 7/29/2010 11:18:39 AM >

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 11:21:08 AM

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I need a refill, too! Drat that Peon for being too far away!

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 11:26:55 AM

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I tend not to play this game too often in vanilla settings. Most, if not all of My flirting and such is done with those folks that I know are involved in BDSM. I'm not running around with some kind of 'hungry look'. Truth be told, I'm not hungry. My wants are in a pretty good place.

Don't get Me wrong. This is completely different when I know I am in a crowd mixed with My own. If I'm at a play party and I want to scratch My itch, everything is on. It was actually My husband that brought this to My attention. Right down to the sparkle in My eye and the curve of My lips. The running gag is that he and I have a bet about Me being able to play at any event where I wanted to play. It's been years and I haven't lost yet.

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 12:33:50 PM

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Lol.. Im not sure I could pull off a hungry look of confidence.. maybe if I was face to face with a really good piece of ... bundtm bumm... CHEESECAKE.. argh argh arhg....anyhow..

I am an profession flirt.... I use touch, eye contact.. that slight half smile.. humor.. .. I tuck up close lower my voice so he has to lean into me to listen.. which at an event is not really that much of a move cuz its normally so loud you either have whisper to be heard or you loose your voice screaming over the noise..

< Message edited by Sylverdawn -- 7/29/2010 12:34:19 PM >

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 12:41:47 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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An X dom of mine, he used to say look at me when I am talking to you, unless there's a tile on the floor named **** then , you do not look at the floor when I am speaking to you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Lockit you've brought up a memory, that sort of ties in. LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU is a biggie with me. But so many subs get "trained" in that downcast eyes thing! Maddening.

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 1:07:52 PM

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Keep in mind, I identify as a switch...not a domme. So...take it for what it's worth.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rhpaw

There was a question earlier about how to tell a sub in vanilla settings. i have often wondered if all or most dommes when checking a potential subs ever look away or not break eye contact with the sub to see if he does break eye contact with you

I do this with most people mainly because I have a problem trusting someone when they can't look me in the eyes. Of course, Im aware there are reasons why someone can't hold a gaze, not the least of which is basic shyness. Body language is a generally a good indicator of a person's comfort level.

and do you like to give him that hungry look of superior confidence to let them know who you are.

Do you think you could give me an example of this "look"? Also, that whole "superior confidence" thing is a bit over the top, in my opinion. I prefer an air of confidence to be tempered with a healthy dose of humility...in both dom/me and sub.

Teasing them with the idea that you could eat them alive.

No, I generally don't make it a habit of doing this with strangers. If I've established some sort of rapport with someone then, of course, there's a time and a place for this.

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 1:30:34 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

What is a hungry look of superior confidence?

I think the OP might mean where a woman looks at you like you're a big steak that she's going to eat. Confidence is ultimate: it doesn't cross her mind that you might object. Resistance is irrelevant. You're just something she's going to consume.

Not easy to pull off on a bad hair day, I'd imagine. However: so far, on CM recently, we've done men's armpits (or at least Otters and I did - everyone else chickened out), men's jacksies and women's warheads. I vote we should now do a Domme's Hungry Look of Superior Confidence thread. That way everyone can give helpful words of advice on how each lady can improve her HLSC for when she next needs it.

Admit it, folks: Do I, or do I not, come up with the great ideas on this forum?

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 3:43:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

What is a hungry look of superior confidence?

I think the OP might mean where a woman looks at you like you're a big steak that she's going to eat. Confidence is ultimate: it doesn't cross her mind that you might object. Resistance is irrelevant. You're just something she's going to consume.

Not easy to pull off on a bad hair day, I'd imagine. However: so far, on CM recently, we've done men's armpits (or at least Otters and I did - everyone else chickened out), men's jacksies and women's warheads. I vote we should now do a Domme's Hungry Look of Superior Confidence thread. That way everyone can give helpful words of advice on how each lady can improve her HLSC for when she next needs it.

Admit it, folks: Do I, or do I not, come up with the great ideas on this forum?

I really have to KNOW someone before I can do that look. It's like those beautiful pastries that have no flavour---unless I know that what's on order is good, I really can't be bothered.

Did you do the thread on what we are supposed to do when we approach our amuse-bouches, Peon?

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 3:55:22 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Did you do the thread on what we are supposed to do when we approach our amuse-bouches, Peon?

I don't think so. What is an 'amuse-bouche', anyway? Is that a bloke whose mouth always looks as though it's grinning? People have told me I have one of those sorts of mouths.

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 5:04:51 PM

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amuse bouche... is a small bite.. something that teases the mouth...to begin the meal

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 5:30:35 PM

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rhpaw,

I don't have that 'hungry' look but, more of a commanding presence about me--according to the people who have observed me in public venues as well as the lifestyle venues.

There can be an energy that is given that people yield to which works on people.

It is something you have to have inside and you can't fake it. Confidence, how one carries themselves, how they move and how the eyes communicate without a word uttered.

If I wish to get through a log-jam of people in the way--I know how to part the sea per se.

As far as catching a potential slave's eye--there is a way however, I'm not impressed with a lot of men out there so, I am not casting my look as to snag their attention and response.

Just some thoughts.

Lady Hugs

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 5:34:52 PM

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LadyHugs!!! How wonderful to sese you posting!!

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RE: A domme look - 7/29/2010 5:51:38 PM

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LadyHibiscus,

Good to get the old keys moving and showing what I typed working on this format again. Amazing how stubborn the format can be. LOL

{{Hugs to those who want and need them}}}

Lady Hugs

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RE: A domme look - 7/30/2010 2:19:59 AM

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Let Me join those who are glad to see LadyHugs back again, with Her wonderful wisdom!

And also let Me join those who hate the whole "eyes down" thing, drives Me nuts! Being a teacher I've always been into the "Eyes on Me" thing as a means of communication and control, so a sub unable to meet My gaze is not a winner. The eyes are the windows to the soul, the mind, the heart ... and I want to see all that dammit!

Finally, I do seem to have a presence, moreso in some surroundings than others, and Master always says how much I am the one who is noticed and remembered even in everyday situations such as in shops. However, I'm not into flirting at random, nor do I have a hungry look ... now that would be a challenge for Me to pull that one off LMAO! I'm not really looking to convert some vanilla boy (with the possible exception of the cute guy in the music shop LOL) ... I'd rather pursue ones who at least have an acknowledged interest in being a submissive!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: A domme look - 8/4/2010 3:39:37 AM

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As a rule I do not flirt but its another whole other thing when a women that is wearing large black boots and is in line waiting as I am. I cannot help but look,who knows why but I get kind of weak in the knees and feel like melting. So I just say, "nice boots" and move on. But I do not think there is a domme look as say, it is a mind thing. But once I know then that get my mind working and I want to know more.

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RE: A domme look - 8/4/2010 3:45:32 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

What is a hungry look of superior confidence?

I think the OP might mean where a woman looks at you like you're a big steak that she's going to eat. Confidence is ultimate: it doesn't cross her mind that you might object. Resistance is irrelevant. You're just something she's going to consume.

Not easy to pull off on a bad hair day, I'd imagine. However: so far, on CM recently, we've done men's armpits (or at least Otters and I did - everyone else chickened out), men's jacksies and women's warheads. I vote we should now do a Domme's Hungry Look of Superior Confidence thread. That way everyone can give helpful words of advice on how each lady can improve her HLSC for when she next needs it.

Admit it, folks: Do I, or do I not, come up with the great ideas on this forum?

Is this like when a woman looks at a man like he's a tree and she's the monkey that's gonna climb him?

I know that look. I believe I know it well.

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