NuevaVida
Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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Stuff I like:
Doing things for him (in and out of the bedroom) that I like, well, the fact that I'm doing it for him just adds a whole new level of yummy spice to the task. Like you, I love to cook. He loves to eat (heh), and appreciates good food. Knowing I'm cooking something that I just know he'll enjoy, well it's that much more fun for me. Often times he'll challenge me by having me cook something I've never cooked before, which might be quite intricate. Then I go off on a recipe hunt, on a grocery spree, and hum and bop my way through the kitchen, excited by the whole thing. He seems to enjoy my bustling joy as much as he enjoys the resulting dinner.
But it's this way with pretty much any "I love it" task I'm given. I already enjoy doing it - doing it for him just makes it that much more enjoyable.
"Eh" kind of stuff:
Like house cleaning. I neither dislike it nor do I get excited by it. But it's for him, so I do it with a happy mindset. If it's something I'm not all that keen on, I think of all the amazing things he does for me that sometimes blow my mind, and I find myself happy to comply. Being loved and treated well appears to be a good motivator for me lol.
Really don't like kind of stuff:
In all honesty, it depends. If it's a chore-type of task, I suck it up and do it, again reminding myself of his goodness in my life and my love for him. But I have found there are things that past relationships have left a residual effect about, and the effect is a really negative one. For these types of commands, I will literally feel sick to my stomach, and sometimes a physical pain will actually spread up from my stomach, across my chest and through my shoulders. It's awful. I'll usually cry, but not in an attempt to make the command go away; rather, because of the emotional pain that comes with it. This hasn't happened often. When it does, we talk about it. Once, I didn't talk about it and just did what was ordered, and I felt really bad about myself as a result. I talked to him about it afterward. Since then, if I feel that way, I tell him before following through with the order. He either helps me through it, shelves it until he can better prepare me, or he takes it off the table altogether.
He is very aware of my trauma triggers and my sensitivity levels, and chooses to be very careful about them.
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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.
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