Zevar -> RE: Chivalry among BDSM Community & society of Western Culture (8/1/2010 5:01:48 PM)
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ORIGINAL: sexyred1 I find chivalry and other qualities such as wooing, seduction, etc. to be very absent in today's society. I believe the reasons for this are myriad; among them our highly technological way of interacting with each other, the desire for immediate gratification, the abundance of choices out there and the sense of entitlement that people feel in being able to express themselves in any way, shape or form with no sense of how that will affect the person they are trying to get to know. I also believe, and I am sure someone will be upset by this, that some men do not believe they need to be or can attempt to be chivalrous because of feminism. Many women don't want men to open doors for them, etc. And especially in D/s, I hear many women say they want a brute, a mean master type and being a gentleman does not register for them in their fantasy of what a Dom should be. I personally believe that you can be a gentleman, be chivalrous and still be an effective Dom if you want to be. People very often forget that we are not comprised of a group of labels, we are comprised of a group of personal characteristics that are a unique amalgam of what we present to the world. It is a personal choice to be chivalrous or any other behavior and none of them are mutually exclusive of BDSM. Good day: I agree that there is an absence of chivalry among men in society today. I also agree that feminism has played a role to a degree when it comes to re-defining the roles of men and women as is related to society and relationships. The expectations of roles in a relationships are rather blurred when it comes to society on the whole. There are no absolute roles between men and women thus chivalry cannot exist among an environment where society does not uphold the qualities of chivalry in a respectful and honorable position. The equality of gender roles also plays a part in the extraction of chivalry in society. I understand that all people deserve to have equal human rights. I also believe that in having equal human rights that this does not change the role of a man or a woman when it comes to practicing chivalry. There are differences in men and women that I acknowledge. These differences lend to what seems quite natural for some men and women. The thought of desiring a brute or mean master is common among some perhaps. It would seem that this is a learned fantasy role for some among the BDSM Community and not actually a natural desire that is chosen so that a woman forfeits being treated with the dignity that woman is due. A gentleman can be brave, strong, refined, a leader and unrelenting dominant and remain chivalrous to women while knowing what that in him doing so this does not relinquish one iota of human rights in society afforded to women. I am of the thought that the differences in men and women brings about an order in realigning relationship roles which result in being satisfying on a level that naturally afford an arena for the qualities of chivalry to be unreservedly expressed. Take good care of you!
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