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RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't After Money?


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RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 9:46:08 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Dude?


You ARE the OP............... unless.................


Heh heh....too funny. OP, you just lost whatever credibility you had by resorting to some of the same behavior that you are decrying in pro-dommes....basically misrepresentation. If you are lying about who you are what makes you think people will check off the appropriate box for themselves when it comes to differentiating between lifestyle and financial? You just demonstrated  how people will do what suits them at the time, not what is the truth.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 9:46:09 AM   
dbloomer


Posts: 137
Joined: 7/9/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
By the way, those of you that endorsed the idea, why would you think the scammers and pros would stick to their category?


This is where I think the whole thing would fall apart. No, I don't think the scammers and pros will conveniently label themselves and stick themselves in the right category. There are people all over this site and others that misrepresent themselves on the subject of money and other things like gender or orientation or marital status...asking for another category isn't going to guarantee truth in advertising on the part of the person putting up the profile. I don't necessarily think that asking for another category is a bad thing, but I don't really feel it would be successful in the way that the people who ask for it envision.



You implement something like craigslist where users can flag profiles that are questionable (IE: asking for money that are improperly listed). Problem solved. Furthermore this solution has been applied effectively in one of the most well-known websites out there. Craigslist.

IT should also be known that craigslist's website is EXTREMELY dated by any standards. A feature like this could probably be added to CM quickly, and cheaply. It wont be. The moment men realize that 80% of the female doms here are either scammers or pro-dommes, they will leave the site as I have, and that will result in reduced profitability. This more than anything is why I REALLY doubt you'll see this kind of feature added any time soon.



< Message edited by dbloomer -- 8/3/2010 9:55:13 AM >

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 9:47:50 AM   
zincpuppy


Posts: 5
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This thread is ridiculous.

OF COURSE there should be seperate categories.

I'm stunned people ridiculed him for this.

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 9:49:50 AM   
dbloomer


Posts: 137
Joined: 7/9/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zincpuppy

This thread is ridiculous.

OF COURSE there should be seperate categories.

I'm stunned people ridiculed him for this.


I'm not stunned at all. Whenever you make a criticism of something that is popular, wether that criticism is constructive or not, people take it PERSONALLY, and they shouldn't. CM is a TOOL for social networking, and we should all work together to make it the most useful tool it can be.

(in reply to zincpuppy)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 9:53:25 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zincpuppy

This thread is ridiculous.

OF COURSE there should be seperate categories.

I'm stunned people ridiculed him for this.



You stun too easily. No fun.
 
Seriously, I didn't see much ridicule.
 
Plus he sockpuppeted so he deserves some flak.
 
Most people already have a filter for these things. It's called a brain.

(in reply to zincpuppy)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 9:55:41 AM   
udaboss


Posts: 46
Joined: 5/12/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: zincpuppy

This thread is ridiculous.

OF COURSE there should be seperate categories.

I'm stunned people ridiculed him for this.



You stun too easily. No fun.
 
Seriously, I didn't see much ridicule.
 
Plus he sockpuppeted so he deserves some flak.
 
Most people already have a filter for these things. It's called a brain.


And, uh, you just ridiculed him. Great.

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 9:56:19 AM   
dbloomer


Posts: 137
Joined: 7/9/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: zincpuppy

This thread is ridiculous.

OF COURSE there should be seperate categories.

I'm stunned people ridiculed him for this.


Most people already have a filter for these things. It's called a brain.


People generally delegate mundane tasks to machines and computers whenever possible. If you used that wonderful thing called a brain you'd realize that.

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 9:57:41 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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What are you doing with people who are pros but come here to find lifestyle players just for fun? I know quite a few of them.

I also made the experience that a lot of guys are sending very detailed requests and expect dommes (somehow I don't think I am the rare exception and they are only doing this to me because I'm so very special) to jump through hoops, buy stuff, expect us to have a playroom in our house or rent one, all for the pleasure of their company and to fulfill their wish list, the "I'm not really interested" doesn't seem to register AT ALL, they just keep on writing, but oh beware if you tell them that they want somebody who's only there to fulfill their fantasies, they should see a professional domme because I AM REALLY NOT INTERESTED, they get quite aggressive. You know if I made a post each time one of those "charmers" contacts me, I'd be spamming the boards daily. Now add to this the guys who want a bit of "cyber fun" (of course I would be allowed to watch their cam for my pleasure alone - yawn) or the ones who are married and are looking for a bit of fun without the wife knowing (yeah, how can somebody resist them), or the ones who think they can give you a grilling to the nth degree because you happen to be on this site, so as a female you must be fair game... I am sure I left some out, just a few of the most usual CMs you get, then I don't really think that complaining that a woman might not answer a mail or that some of them may be pros really cuts it.

Plus as a woman, a guy who can't be bothered to read my profile because it is too much effort - why on earth should I be interested in him in the 1st place?


_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to dbloomer)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 9:57:56 AM   
BoiJen


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You haven't realized you are the "him" have you?

_____________________________


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(in reply to udaboss)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 9:58:14 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
Well the system just swallowed my reply, so let's just try this again....

quote:

ORIGINAL: dbloomer

When you make a statement like this you have to explain why. This is what seperates opinion from fact. Why is it impossible to have a "Pro Domme" flag attached to peoples profile?


Fair enough.

I have a profile on another site that does have a pro-tag. It created issues for the site itself around prostitution and solicitation-the site can't deny knowledge of activities that could be considered solicitation if it has a professional flag, can it?

It creates issues for the users because when you get down to it the lifestyle/professional divide isn't exactly binary-what if a pro would also like to find a lifestyle sub (which many of them do, in my experience)? Men looking for a real relationship will not view tagged profiles, so what is her incentive to tag herself?

And then on CM you have cam-girls/credit card scammers/whatever-they want as wide an audience as possible. Why would they tag themselves when it would restrict their audience?

The suggestion that the tags be assigned by other users makes me decidedly uncomfortable. It's one thing to remove a profile because enough users consider it defamatory or a scam or whatever the other options are, but to have a profile remain up and then edit it so it carries a sign saying 'this woman charges for her time' seems wrong-who has the right to say that about her but herself? Either you ban pros and then have the profiles reported and deleted or you allow them and do not censor them (because it *is* a form of censorship).

quote:


OF COURSE your experience has been different here. You're a female.


This argument would be a whole lot more compelling if I WASN'T GAY. But hey, I mostly am, so an awful lot of those experiences I mentioned above have been with women. Real women. I somehow managed to find them amongst all those terrible fakes.

Some of them were even pliable.

(Edited because 'themself is not a word.)


< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 8/3/2010 9:59:22 AM >


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to dbloomer)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 10:02:52 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: udaboss


quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: zincpuppy

This thread is ridiculous.

OF COURSE there should be seperate categories.

I'm stunned people ridiculed him for this.



You stun too easily. No fun.
 
Seriously, I didn't see much ridicule.
 
Plus he sockpuppeted so he deserves some flak.
 
Most people already have a filter for these things. It's called a brain.


And, uh, you just ridiculed him. Great.


By saying he sockpuppeted?
 
It's not ridicule if he did. Just a statement of fact.

(in reply to udaboss)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 10:03:56 AM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline
you can say this is a good idea all you want, and i'm not saying that it is a good idea or if its a bad one. like VC said, its not realistic. there are TONS of people employed by craigslist-not really the case here. the flag system applies to jobs being offered and to combat prositution and human trafficking(sorry if that is spelled wrong), Collarme however, does give a BIG warning about sending money to other users. if somebody falls into that after being warned- oh well, that's their fault. cm also has no problem with prodommes, as long as they post in the correct areas- aka their profile, journals, and the "professional services" forum. and its been years since i've visted craigslist, but i'm sure they have "adult services and adult gigs" sections there as well, which is the same as collarme. there simply isnt enough man power to do what you are asking unless you are willing to volunteer all your free time to make this come to fruition.

_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to dbloomer)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 10:06:38 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dbloomer


quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: zincpuppy

This thread is ridiculous.

OF COURSE there should be seperate categories.

I'm stunned people ridiculed him for this.


Most people already have a filter for these things. It's called a brain.


People generally delegate mundane tasks to machines and computers whenever possible. If you used that wonderful thing called a brain you'd realize that.



Nonsensical argument. You're using a computer now but by your claim you're not using your brain.
 
So be it.

(in reply to dbloomer)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 10:08:22 AM   
dbloomer


Posts: 137
Joined: 7/9/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

What are you doing with people who are pros but come here to find lifestyle players just for fun? I know quite a few of them.


Then they can either create a second profile NOT flagged "pro-dom" for their non-professional use, which seems like the logical thing to do anyways, or the system can impliment ANOTHER flag, pro-dom/lifestyle flag which identifies accounts as both, and men will be able to toggle on and off the "ignore pro-dom" search option at their leisure.

quote:


I also made the experience that a lot of guys are sending very detailed requests and expect dommes (somehow I don't think I am the rare exception and they are only doing this to me because I'm so very special) to jump through hoops, buy stuff, expect us to have a playroom in our house or rent one, all for the pleasure of their company and to fulfill their wish list, the "I'm not really interested" doesn't seem to register AT ALL, they just keep on writing, but oh beware if you tell them that they want somebody who's only there to fulfill their fantasies, they should see a professional domme because I AM REALLY NOT INTERESTED, they get quite aggressive. You know if I made a post each time one of those "charmers" contacts me, I'd be spamming the boards daily. Now add to this the guys who want a bit of "cyber fun" (of course I would be allowed to watch their cam for my pleasure alone - yawn) or the ones who are married and are looking for a bit of fun without the wife knowing (yeah, how can somebody resist them), or the ones who think they can give you a grilling to the nth degree because you happen to be on this site, so as a female you must be fair game... I am sure I left some out, just a few of the most usual CMs you get, then I don't really think that complaining that a woman might not answer a mail or that some of them may be pros really cuts it.

Plus as a woman, a guy who can't be bothered to read my profile because it is too much effort - why on earth should I be interested in him in the 1st place?



I am not unsympathetic to the problems you experience. I don't know how they relate to the usefulness of a pro-dom flag on this site.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 10:11:24 AM   
dbloomer


Posts: 137
Joined: 7/9/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

you can say this is a good idea all you want, and i'm not saying that it is a good idea or if its a bad one. like VC said, its not realistic.


This argument has already been made and been refuted COMPLETELY, with a real-world example of how a community can govern itself by flagging profiles, or in craigslist terms, ads.

Repeating that "it's not viable" after I've proven it is viable, doesn't change anything.

(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 10:11:33 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: udaboss
I used to contact women, but I put a lot of effort into it and some of the women didn't even bother to read the e-mail. I go to my "sent items" folder and find a message I spent 20 minutes to wriye was "deleted unread."

 
 
Udaboss,
 
I can remember what it was like when I first joined. I vaguely assumed that any woman whose profile I saw would be like me - that is, looking for a partner. It was depressing and dispiriting at first to see that many weren't - this was a market that involved selling services. The thing to do, I realised, was get used to being able to separate the pros from the non-pros quickly and easily. But, for me, of prime importance is the bit I've emboldened, above. That would have been far too much of an investment for me. I couldn't have risked a woman ignoring such a first message because I knew that it would have damaged whatever spirits I had too much. I'd take a guess that many people's spirits aren't that bouncy in the first place because they'd never have come to CM otherwise.
 
Personally, I've found what works best is something short, friendly, light and vanilla and which picks up on something she's said in her profile. I compare it to the first friendly chat you might start with a woman you see in a bar. I avoid the one-liners (because I know they're loathed) but I wouldn't write more than a few sentences. Others might disagree, but the fundamental consideration for me is my own 'well of hope'. By the time of the third rejection (or, perhaps worse, complete ignoring of) a long, very-thought-out message from me, that well will have been emptied.

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 8/3/2010 10:12:33 AM >


_____________________________

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(in reply to udaboss)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 10:12:51 AM   
dbloomer


Posts: 137
Joined: 7/9/2010
Status: offline
quote:



Nonsensical argument. You're using a computer now but by your claim you're not using your brain.
 
So be it.


When I hit "Search" I'm not using my brain, I'm using the computer to do the dirty-work for me. Expecting someone to search through a list of doms to figure out which ones are pro, and which are NOT pro, is like expecting someone to search through a list of EVERYONE in your country to find people in your province.

We let the system do this dirty work for us, because it can.

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 10:18:02 AM   
problemchild


Posts: 23
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline
Just finished reading this thread and it's sad.

Many of the posts never addressed, or barely addressed, the idea. Rather, they just wanted to attack a person.

I think it's a good idea. There might be some initial problems implementing it but they'd get worked out.

I'm also a submissive looking for a lifestyle domme and I know I'd love that feature -- or some way to filter out women who are "dommes" for money.

(in reply to udaboss)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 10:18:21 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dbloomer

quote:



Nonsensical argument. You're using a computer now but by your claim you're not using your brain.
 
So be it.


When I hit "Search" I'm not using my brain, I'm using the computer to do the dirty-work for me. Expecting someone to search through a list of doms to figure out which ones are pro, and which are NOT pro, is like expecting someone to search through a list of EVERYONE in your country to find people in your province.

We let the system do this dirty work for us, because it can.



So by udaboss's reckoning, you will then have a list of 3 real dommes and 9857634 pro dommes. I don't see how this helps him.
 
Plus, more significantly,  pro dommes will just list themselves as dommes and unfurl their nefarious webs later in the process, right?

(in reply to dbloomer)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Couldn't CM Have a Category for Dommes Who Aren't A... - 8/3/2010 10:19:06 AM   
dbloomer


Posts: 137
Joined: 7/9/2010
Status: offline


quote:


This argument would be a whole lot more compelling if I WASN'T GAY. But hey, I mostly am, so an awful lot of those experiences I mentioned above have been with women. Real women. I somehow managed to find them amongst all those terrible fakes.



I could make a female profile in 10 minutes and in 24 hours have more messages in my inbox, from men AND women, than I have had since my current account which has been around for months has been up.

A males experience and a females experience here is not the same. If you think it is you're deluding yourself.


(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 80
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