RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (Full Version)

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sweetbbwsub31 -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 5:22:36 AM)

i have vanilla far too often but i am not in a 24/7 D/s relationship. i am guessing that if i was there would still be vanilla sex. Life gets in the way and there isn't always time for a full scene. i enjoy both sides. For me, it's 2 very different kinds of pleasure, both special in their own way.



MstrssPassion -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 5:38:53 AM)

quote:

mathiasdomm: Do people in D/s relationships have vanilla sex? 

This is an odd and intimate question, but one I've been thinking about a lot lately.


Not an odd question & definitely not one that has never been asked before.

My standard reply is yes, but even our vanilla has a dash of sprinkles!



unquenchable -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 5:53:16 AM)

Oh yes we have vanilla sex, need to let the body heal sometime!! 

grins

un--------------



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 6:23:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mathiasdomm
Do people in D/s relationships have vanilla sex?  By vanilla, I mean no play, no toys, no kink.  Not even mental bondage.  The kind of sex you imagine the neighbors with the matching Volvos and track suits having. 

People who are kinky have non-kinky sex all the time.

However, if their authority dynamic is an ongoing one, it doesn't stop just because they have sex (even if the sub is on top, even if the dom is giving oral sex, etc).

It's rare for me to have non-kinky sex, but it certainly happens.  I went through the normal stages of thinking "No vanilla EVER!  Vanilla sucks and is pointless!"

And then I realized how stupid that was- vanilla sex is just as mind blowing and connecting as any type of sex can be.  So while it's rare for me to HAVE a vanilla sex connection with someone, it certainly does happen on occasion.

quote:

Or are we a subset of people who are going to find ways to make it interesting and creative regardless of circumstance? 

Vanilla sex is not boring or lacking in creativity.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 6:30:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet
BDSM does not refer to sex. It refers to controll, submission, and pain for punishment and or pleasure. The kink or lack there of during sex has little if not nothing to do with the life style. Punishment, torture, bondage, controll and such can still be in the relationship regardless of what goes on under the sheets.  


I find this very weird considering your previous statements:
What separates the bdsm community from everyone else?

By everyone else do you mean the Vanilla Community?

When a vanilla person tells you they are having sex, we normally think "Well that's nice." And don't put much thought into it. If you tell a vanilla person about having sex while being forced and tied down, slaped in the face, blind folded, and called dirty names, they'll think we're sick in the head. Vanilla is highly more judgmental on how people have sex.
 
And now here you're saying:
The kink or lack there of during sex has little if not nothing to do with the life style.
 
It seems like first you differentiate bdsm from vanilla by making a clear statement about sex and perceptions of sex, and now you say sex has absolutely nothing inherently to do with bdsm.



ExistentialSteel -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 6:37:17 AM)

Sex is such an emotional, psychological power that all facets of the person come into play. Denying my sadistic/Dom side is possible, but it is like thinking of a baseball game when I’m trying to make an embarrassing erection go away. I don’t always have to spank or whatever, but the control and power dynamic is usually there and shows in my aggressive ways.



MistressXinran -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 6:45:47 AM)

I'm not sure I do the only people I have sex with are my submissive partner and a few female subs and because they are all naturally submissive to me in life this transfers to sex, there can be no toys or play but there is always a D/s dynamic.
Xinran



meatcleaver -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 7:26:00 AM)

What is vanilla sex?

It's a serious question.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 2:06:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

What is vanilla sex?
It's a serious question.
Sex (intercourse, not oral) in the missionary position while eating vanilla ice cream I think. [8D]  M



meatcleaver -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 2:13:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

What is vanilla sex?
It's a serious question.
Sex (intercourse, not oral) in the missionary position while eating vanilla ice cream I think. [8D]  M


[sm=ofcourse.gif]She hates vanilla ice cream.



kyraofMists -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 3:18:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I know people who use blood as anal lube


I have been thinking about this line all day.  A year ago the thought of this would have just been gross.  Now it's "oh boy, I want to try that!!"  Blood play is becoming a new passion of mine  *eg*

Knight's kyra



KatyLied -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 3:31:04 PM)

Thank goodness for vanilla sex.  Aren't there times, early in the morning, when you want to fuck without fanfare?  Aren't there times when a quickie will suffice?  With the right partner, it's all good.



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 3:34:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

Sex is such an emotional, psychological power that all facets of the person come into play. Denying my sadistic/Dom side is possible, but it is like thinking of a baseball game when I’m trying to make an embarrassing erection go away. I don’t always have to spank or whatever, but the control and power dynamic is usually there and shows in my aggressive ways.


I have to agree with this...I can't seem to turn off my submissiveness even during what might appear to be missionary, kink-free sex. That's not to say I don't have missionary sex. (Hell, no, I couldn't give that up!) I just find that if my partner turns down the dominant thermostat, then my brain compensates by slipping into intense fantasy.

(Reluctant slave-girl and heartless owner is the hands-down favourite.) [:D]

Cin



bandit25 -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 4:29:49 PM)

Sure we do...and it's terrific!



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 8:48:35 PM)

To the OP..I would think "vanilla" sex would be incorporated .However..The Dominant will always be dominating whereas the submissive will always submit..It is the mindset not the act...Tempting



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 10:05:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver
What is vanilla sex?
It's a serious question.
Sex (intercourse, not oral) in the missionary position while eating vanilla ice cream I think. [8D]  M

[sm=ofcourse.gif]She hates vanilla ice cream.
So the concensus is everyone except meatcleaver and his girl can have vanilla sex. [sm=tongue.gif]  M



FangsNfeet -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 10:59:59 PM)

"It seems like first you differentiate bdsm from vanilla by making a clear statement about sex and perceptions of sex, and now you say sex has absolutely nothing inherently to do with bdsm."

I didn't make a perception about sex, just the differental of what we think versus what vanilla people think. That particular thread points out how the majority of the vanilla people think we're freaks. Most of us, the life stylers, just think of them as regular people who do what works for them. Most of us do not view them as harmful or psycho. It pisses me off when we let them live there lives yet some if not most continue to fight against our life style with laws and local policy. We don't have our creative writting forum anymore because of there Bull Shit.

The "S" in BDSM stands for Sadisim. Sex is not mentioned in BDSM. It's a life style of controll. If I decide to spank my sub because she didn't finish the dishes then I will and no sex will be involved in it. If I want to tie my sub up to a chair and toss hot wax on her just for the fun of it, then I will and no sex needs to take place before, during, or after for me to enjoy my sadistic actions.

When I wake up with morning wood but to tired to get out of bed to get the cuffs, clamps, blind fold, and such, I'll persue and have good old fashin whip it in whip it out vanilla sex. It happens and I don't find it boring.  

Sex in itself does not have to be kinky to have a BDSM relationship. Bondage, domination, sadisim, and masochisim, can be in all or limited areas in a relationship.   



IndigoDadesi -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 11:19:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom
not sure if I could "pass" without being spoted as a pervert. 


Well, yea. Your 12th order decoder ring gives it away.



Daddysredhead -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 11:41:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

To the OP..I would think "vanilla" sex would be incorporated .However..The Dominant will always be dominating whereas the submissive will always submit..It is the mindset not the act...Tempting

I agree here.  Master and I are always who we are, "vanilla" or otherwise.  We have a lot of "vanilla" sex, but He is always the dominant one, even if I am the one who initiates it.  I might be the agressor at times, but Master will decide if it happens. 



DigitBox -> RE: Do we have vanilla sex? (4/19/2006 11:44:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mathiasdomm


Do people in D/s relationships have vanilla sex?  By vanilla, I mean no play, no toys, no kink.  Not even mental bondage.  The kind of sex you imagine the neighbors with the matching Volvos and track suits having. 

Is it possible? 


I do.  It's rare but it can be a nice change of pace when I'm just too horny to give a damn about all the other stuff that goes into scene play.

I'm still exploring the BDSM as the non-sexual purely in the headspace thing.  I have to say I like what I've experienced, but other times I mix the sex and the play together which is great too.  But  like I say, making out in an average way is quite nice too.



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