AAkasha
Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
|
I am reading "Talking to Girls about Duran Duran" right now, and having all sorts of surreal flashbacks to my youth. I was a teenager in the mid 80s, so my whole view of "men" "boys" and "crushes" evolved around a dance/pop music scene where men wore makeup, skirts, were labeled "fags" by insecure homophobes and left parents shaking their heads. Some of my most memorable first kisses were on male lips who were wearing lipstick or lipgloss.
Essentially, my crushes on men and my teenage fantasy was ALL centered around men who were essentially androgynous, wore make up, were feminine and even dressed in girls' closed. That "Scene" for me evolved right into some goth music influences (more men in makeup, now add more black clothes, fishnets and skirts) and eventually into goth/industrial (a little less makeup, but still a lot of eyeliner, add in combat boots, metal/chains on leather bracelets, dog collars). All of this absolutely shaped my ideals for male sexuality and what turns me on about men.
But what is most telling in "the mix" there is that I'd try to "make" my non-conformist boyfriends conform; I wanted guys who wore eyeliner, even if they didn't. I wanted men in fishnets, even if they said 'oh my god if anyone but YOU saw me in this I would die. PUT DOWN THE CAMERA!' I wanted my men to have feminine features, even if they didn't have them naturally. In the playful "conversion" process, there was much protesting, resistance, forced kisses, light bondage, whatever. Wear my panties, put on these fishnets, here's some eyeliner, try this lipstick...all of that while blasting Joy Division or Echo & the Bunnymen, holding hands at "Sixteen Candles" at the movies, whatever. By the time I got into college, making men into girls was part of my M.O. -- so long as there was a healthy dose of S&M and bondage. I ended up feeling much, much more at "home" in the goth/industrial "look" (for men) than in the ultra feminine direction that new wave and new romantic went, but I definitely wanted men in eyeliner as a start.
The resistance, the "I will only do this for you," of the guys that went along with it because they liked me, even though it embarrassed them, kind of shaped what became a side fetish for humiliation. But more importantly, the guys that were totally comfortable and competent and creating their own androgynous look were also appealing.
When I can recapture any of those dynamics in the context of "feminization," I take to it like a duck to water. All of this is a far cry from a lot of what is passed around as "forced feminization," though, and I've been trying to figure out exactly why. It's clear to me that I like pretty men, men in feminine clothes and men in makeup, if they are androgynous and doing it openly to enhance their style (granted, this is rare now, as the 80s would seem it was just a fashion stage); and I also enjoy making a man uncomfortable by slipping into a persona of femininity that feels foreign to him. Where it starts to fall off for me is when it's too singularly-focused on the part of the man, or is so self indulgent that it overshadows every other aspect of surrender. But you know what, I feel that way about foot fetishists too, and CBT-enthusiasts, or "any" enthusiast, if it's so self indulgent that my participation becomes secondary.
I would have to think a lot of people in their 40s right now were also shaped, sexually, in the androgynous 80s. I wonder how much of an impact that has on sexual ideals.
Akasha
_____________________________
Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]
|
F/fem, fetishes and being impressionable - 
Profile
in 1995. I might have to get a strap-on with a tattoo pattern on it. . .
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread