RE: seperation of the emotions

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RE: seperation of the emotions - 8/7/2010 4:37:47 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Laughter is a weird thing. It sometimes sneaks up on us, in the most inappropriate times, as a response to deep emotions

yes... i have been known to laugh at inappropriate times too...

also i like to point out that my Husband has the tendency to feel a bit less dominant when He loses a game... like chess or scrabble (i usually laugh inappropriately then as well) ... He sometimes decides that a physical fight after such a defeat for Him will quickly put Him back on top... it still might have me laughing, though we'll both know who's the boss...

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RE: seperation of the emotions - 8/7/2010 6:33:41 AM

Zevar

Posts: 801
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zevar
.
However I determined myself to learn all I could about her ability to ignite my desire for her AND not only physically but emotionally. This ability to know of her heart language allowed me to experience her in a way that surpassed anything I had ever known. In thinking of emotions and mastery I realized that my ability to master myself first on an emotional level brought forth from her a deeper desire to yield herself mind, body, heart and soul toward myself.
.

zevar, i loved all of youre post and im curious to know what you mean by 'heart language'

the highlighted bit - and this is the same i think for submission. its in submission only that i have allowed myself to become fully exposed, but it came about im sure through my own mastery of my submission and when i realised that i was capable of giving and in fact it was thoroughly expected of me ive gradually un-wound the knot of fear that held me back.

more than ever now im being taught how to completely open up and i realised only the other day that i have opened up so much more and OP it isnt that scary, so long as you own youre emotions and dont expect anyone else to take them on. its possible to share youreself and expose youre fragile pieces and be no less diminished as a result. but it is beholden on you to choose the right person to share them with.

Good Day lally:

I have chosen to send you Cmail regarding your question(s). To post my entry reply to your question(s) here in this public forum would be totally inappropriate as in doing such I risk derailing this thread, which I have no intention of doing.

Take good care of you!

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RE: seperation of the emotions - 8/7/2010 7:33:57 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

Laughter is a weird thing. It sometimes sneaks up on us, in the most inappropriate times, as a response to deep emotions.

Once, when I was young, a man started drowning in front of me. I was scared and overwhelmed, but guess what? I laughed. Of course I also dove down and got him and pulled him outof the pool, but I only say that so people don't think I'm a sociopath or something! Point is, laughter isn't always an expression of things we find funny. It could be that she just felt this surge of emotion that bubbled up and out in the form of laughter.

Or, she could be an insensitive twit.

I don't know. But, I thought I'd share one possible option.

This is such a good point. I laugh when I'm nervous. Used to get me in a hell of a lot of trouble as a kid - Parents would ask why I did something I shouldn't have, and I'd break out into this huge smile, followed with a laugh. Much as I tried, I could not control it. My childhood best friend came by to visit, years later. I had the unpleasant task of telling her a mutual friend of ours was killed in an accident. She was shocked - not only from the new but by my smiling and laughing as I told her. I learned to communicate this to people, that I laugh when I'm nervous. It doesn't put them off so much.

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RE: seperation of the emotions - 8/7/2010 4:53:56 PM

reynardfox

Posts: 417
Joined: 9/8/2009
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You are the one who felt less than Dom, this was no one elses' doing.
Expressing your needs and feelings can only make you stronger.
Separating feelings is one of the symptoms of madness.
Feelings make you strong, savour them, even a giant can be gentle.
The samurai wrote exqusite poems about beauty and the higher feelings, no one would have said they were weak, well, not twice, you tend not to talk much with no head.

(in reply to xAdamx)

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Post #: 24

RE: seperation of the emotions - 8/8/2010 7:50:33 AM

kiwisub12

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Joined: 1/11/2006
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I laugh at funerals
I cry at weddings
and when talking about things that affect me greatly, i usually have a smile plastered on my face - not because i find them funny, but because i find them almost overwhelming to deal with.

Your submissive maybe was not being insensitive - she may have been uncomfortable, she may have been touched and dealing with the emotions as best she could.

One of the times i felt closest to my late dom was when his mother died, and he cried in my arms - and trust me, i didn't lose any respect or love for him! If anything, the fact that he felt such emotion and was open enough to show it in front of me made me feel closer to him.

Most women want a fully dimensional person - we want one with emotions and feelings and reality. If you have someone who is uncomfortable with your emotions, then you should perhaps sensitize her to them by showing them more. If you had suddenly shown her that you are a real person, where previously you were one dimensional, then i could see where her reaction would have been inappropriate. She wouldn't have known what to do with what you were presenting her. More openess with her is going to show her that you are showing a different side of you, not another person, and she will be able to intergrate all your aspects into a whole picture.

(in reply to lally2)

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RE: seperation of the emotions - 9/11/2010 4:50:52 AM

xAdamx

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Joined: 4/8/2007
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hey there you...thanks for your input ..smiles....and to all...for your advice..have taken on board all your comments...note to self...am human...it's okay to show sensitivity..it's a relationship not a role play...listen to the slave more....eg..beat me sir if l step out of line....smiles

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RE: seperation of the emotions - 9/11/2010 10:56:15 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: texangael
You command respect by leading, by showing discipline, self-control, and principled decision-making. You command respect by maintaining your personal integrity.

bingo. Respect, for me, is not some BDSM construct.... "Oh, here's a collar, please start typing my name with capital letters." Like Tex, I'm more of an old-fashioned sort of respect guy... I earn mine by being respect-worthy.

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: seperation of the emotions - 9/11/2010 12:18:31 PM

NorthernGent

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Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xAdamx

To be frank and open l have had problems with relationships, so as a dom l was successful only in a pro dom enviroment. I enjoyed the interaction of the do me, do me, needs of submissive/slave females....now l enter a relationship and l find a sensitive streak in me, an emotional streak. I opened my heart and expressed my feelings...my sub laughed not in a cruel mocking way...but it made me feel for some reason less then dom..a loss of power..l didnt know how to cope with it..how can you command respect, power over someone if you are feeling emotional towards them...can anyone explain this....lmao don't be too hard on me..or l may just come round and bite ya head off lol

We all have emotions....and no likes to be laughed at......that's a given....it's how you handle it that matters......

You have wit....tact...and decision in your armour....

So work out the situation....is it one that demands you open up? and if you do and she's an idiot who thinks it's funny....then you employ wit and turn it on its head.....and failing that you employ pragmatism and call it a day as she's not the one for you where you need a meaningful conversation and she thinks it's her time to turn it into a joke.....

Oh....and if it's a case of whenever you get a dig you go to pieces.......then you need to cultivate a thicker skin because there'll always be an unexpected knock from time to time.....

Edited to add.....just have a philsophical approach to life.....can't win 'em all....and your handling of such situations will be far more relaxed and positive.....

< Message edited by NorthernGent -- 9/11/2010 12:19:55 PM >

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: seperation of the emotions - 9/11/2010 12:26:45 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Whether or not this is a power relationship or a power equal one is unimportant. To have a successful relationship there must be mutual trust, respect and open communication.

So ask her why she laughed. Possibly what you considered a terrible secret seemed minor and trivial to her. Ask her if her intention was to hurt you or not.

The only alternative to being open to each other is to guard ourselves. But remember, when you put up walls to keep everyone else out, you also imprison yourself inside those walls.

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Cynical and proud of it!

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