The "Reward"???

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

The "Reward"???

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> The "Reward"???

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

The "Reward"??? - 4/19/2006 9:09:56 AM

akame

Posts: 64
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I'm delving into new areas of play and am trying to sort out the BDsm Male mindset.
I'm trying to figure out what the "rewards" of play are for them.
I've spoken to several and am getting mixed signals.
For some, they tell me it is the ultimate to have a female use a dildo on them.
That it is what they are after.
If they do not get this they simply find someone else to play with.
Is this the "Reward" most male submissives are after?
I say most because I know some that this is totally unacceptable to.
but, overall, I have found most to be damanding of this type of play.
Enema's, dildo's, fisting, etc...if you don't do this for them, they are out the door.
And, while I do enjoy both giving and recieving them, it's not the end all be all to play for me.
So, is this the area of play that is most in demand from Male Submissives or is there play I am missing that is done with them?
I mean, do they have to have anal play to feel submissive?
Are enema's, fisting, dildo's etc...a major part of play for them?

And not to change the subject, but...how many Tops/Masters/Daddy's etc....out there also have others use Dildo's on them or enjoy at least some forms of anal play? Just how many are there out there with their very own enema kit and harness with favorite dildo?
I personally know of alot myself.
One of the most popular here made sure he showed me his wives cock, told me it was hers 3 times while crossing the room in fact, lol.
I also know some that are totally turned off by anal play of any sort, even an old fashined anal fucking (them fucking a females ass.) they want no part off, much less anyone going anywhere near theirs even with a finger or tongue.

but, overall, I've noticed a pattern.
The men like anal play and some admit to being bi while others stick strictly to females with dildo's because it somehow assuges the guilt this type of play seems to bring forth in them.

so, have you noticed the same pattern in the BDsm males?

hugzzz,
me

_____________________________

"We are the people with such righteous ideas" Bob Hollister.
"It's the fact that we are all different, that makes us the same." Billie Myers.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: The "Reward"??? - 4/19/2006 9:15:19 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Other than knowing that they have been pleasing and useful, I haven't noticed and real common theme in what male subs want in rewards.

I know often that the best reward for my local partner is a good kiss on the mouth.

On the topic of anal play, many, males and females, do enjoy it because of the submissive sensations they get from it. They feel taken, used, possessed and more. And it has nothing to do with what sexual orientation a person is.

And many subs, males and females, don't like any anal play at all.

As far as whether tops/doms also do it...I can say I've never met a man who didn't love a good prostate massage as he orgasmed- even if sometimes I had to suggest it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to akame)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: The "Reward"??? - 4/19/2006 9:30:43 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I would say the overall reward is personal gratification/satisfaction...as it is for all of us. The problem is that what is gratifying to one is not to another. It's a totally individualized thing. For a lot of men, they are looking for sexual gratification. For others, they are looking for a "job well done" kind of thing. Probably for most, it's a combination of the two.

Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to akame)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: The "Reward"??? - 4/19/2006 9:35:50 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

My male sub enjoys anal play quite a bit, he was apprehensive when I first presented the idea to him but he trusted me enough to try it. Now he loves all the butt plugs/strap ons we have acquired and having them used on him. Another thing he enjoys which rather surprised him is humilation, he absolutely loves it! So I am planning on working more humilation into our fun time.
I am my subs first Domme and so everything is a new experience for him, he finds he feels more at peace (his words) knowing that I'm in control. In the past as a Master he was the one always in control so this change in dynamic works much better for him and allows the *real* him to come out unhindered.
I have noticed that alot of males do have a female domination fantasy, even ones who swear they'd never let a female top them. Of those men who made this request of me (and I declined), the most requested act they said they wanted was to be taken with a strapon. I dunno I guess maybe they just want to be on the recieving end to see what its like.

~Lashra

(in reply to akame)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: The "Reward"??? - 4/19/2006 10:39:03 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

LA,

I have found your advice quite grounded and illuminating. However, did you mean to imply that all forms of recieving anal stimulation are submissive?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: The "Reward"??? - 4/19/2006 12:02:02 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom
I have found your advice quite grounded and illuminating. However, did you mean to imply that all forms of recieving anal stimulation are submissive?

Nope, just that submissives interpret it that way.

Just like opening a door can be submissive (I'm being useful and serving) or dominant (I'm controlling where she goes) or neither (I'm at a door/I'm being polite).

That doesn't mean it's hard to break through stereotypes. A lot of male doms ARE squicked by anal play due to its stereotypical submissive/homosexual undertones. Their loss really.

It's not the act, it's the motivation and processing.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: The "Reward"??? - 4/19/2006 1:15:37 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I figured that was what you meant but I wanted to be sure.

The way I look at this is "it ain't the act, it's the motive"...

Your door analogy is perfect.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 7