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RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 1:07:39 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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I don't belong in this thread because I am going to be who I am.

I am somewhat flexible, but mostly I am just who I am. So either I am the right person or I am not.

Sometimes I feel women see men as a boxed cake mix. They feel they can whip up the ingredients, add a few things and bang!, they have a cake.

Most of us are already baked. The best they can hope for is to add a little frosting.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 61

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 1:08:07 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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I agree with a previous poster - one thing a dominant must be for me - is observant.

I met a prospective playpartner/possible dominant in Barnes and Noble -and whilst talking and walking (so small children and animals wouldn't be shocked at the conversation), he told me that when i became aroused i shifted my weight onto my left foot ........................ and damned if he wasn't correct! I was shocked that he would have noticed - and impressed that he was watching me that closely to even observe such a thing. edited to add - i didn't notice that i was doing it.

I can only imagine how that eagle eye would work for him in a relationship. It was actually a bit scary to have someone read me that well.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 62

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 1:22:23 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

The more I think about it though, the more I think that I probably shouldn't have responded on this thread.

Obviously where you post is entirely up to you, but I disagree-just because an answer isn't what the specific OP is looking for doesn't mean it won't click with someone reading the thread.

Your answer was accurate for your relationship, and I think that's the best anyone has to offer-the variety of dynamics is one of the reasons I like CM.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 63

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 2:28:11 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I don't belong in this thread because I am going to be who I am.

I am somewhat flexible, but mostly I am just who I am. So either I am the right person or I am not.

Sometimes I feel women see men as a boxed cake mix. They feel they can whip up the ingredients, add a few things and bang!, they have a cake.

Most of us are already baked. The best they can hope for is to add a little frosting.

Who you are is fantastic though and you are a good example of how you cannot remove the dominant from the man and vice versa. I'll eat that cake over all others any day.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 64

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 4:35:31 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee
Have you ever had a relationship end because he wasn't masterful enough? What precisely did he fail to live up to your standards?

No, not because He wasn't "masterful" enough, but because He lied. I've had more than one relationship end because He lied....usually about being married. They didn't necessarilly end because of the married part, but because of the lied about it part. In the first place, I can't stand lying. Also, if either partner lies, where then is the trust?

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Jaybeee)

Post #: 65

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 4:38:04 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

My cake is cream filled...:)

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"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 66

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 4:40:04 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

Unfortunately, so is youe sense of humour.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 67

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 4:43:20 PM

delicatelydirty

Posts: 126
Joined: 2/7/2010
Status: offline

I have noticed in my relationships that if the basic foundations start to weaken, trust, love communication then the whole D/s component is the first thing to go, I can't submit if I don't feel safe emotionally because I go into survival mode and start shutting down my feelings and I will refuse to let anyone near me. So if the D type wants to maintain that part of the relationship then he has to ensure that he is being honest and open and in fairness my requirement is the same.

< Message edited by delicatelydirty -- 8/14/2010 4:45:30 PM >

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 68

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 4:43:41 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

My cake is cream filled...:)

I haven't missed that detail!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 69

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 4:48:58 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Sometimes I feel women see men as a boxed cake mix. They feel they can whip up the ingredients, add a few things and bang!, they have a cake.

Most of us are already baked. The best they can hope for is to add a little frosting.

Unfortunately, most of you are already baked, but missing key ingredients that renders the cake inedible.

Frosting does not cover that up and too many show their frosting and not what the cake really tastes like.

How fun to use a cake metaphor.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 70

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 5:10:16 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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and sometimes that cream filling is not intentional - but unbaked cake mix!
some of the cakes need a bit more time in the oven before eating. And some are overbaked and dry

but man, when you find the right cake - moist, tasty and just right - all the other bad cakes become just a memory.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 71

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 5:12:32 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

and sometimes that cream filling is not intentional - but unbaked cake mix!
some of the cakes need a bit more time in the oven before eating. And some are overbaked and dry

but man, when you find the right cake - moist, tasty and just right - all the other bad cakes become just a memory.

I agree. And then again, there are always brownies.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 72

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 5:19:13 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

cough*slut*cough ......................... some of us can stop at cake and don't have to go on to brownies, and meringes and cookies and peanut brittle and pavlova and baklava and ................................................

damn it - now i'm a slut too. sheesh.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 73

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 5:28:09 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Unfortunately, so is youe sense of humour.

I only put up with you because you are cute.

Does your mum like........cake?

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 74

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 5:29:44 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Does your mum like........cake?

If by that you mean 'would she eat you alive and then polish off the leftovers for breakfast?' then probably.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 75

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 5:53:42 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

It's a start!

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 76

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/14/2010 6:28:36 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

cough*slut*cough ......................... some of us can stop at cake and don't have to go on to brownies, and meringes and cookies and peanut brittle and pavlova and baklava and ................................................

damn it - now i'm a slut too. sheesh.

See how easy it is to be slutty (about cake, of course). :)

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 77

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/17/2010 10:18:16 AM

Jadedobserver

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline

Hi everyone. This is my first post under this name. I haven't written anything in a long time, only read. But this post made me want to respond. And when I went to use my regular name, I found it wasn't working. So here's a new one for me.

I really don't want to take excerpts from particular posts. I guess I more want to make a more general comment.

I read a number of posts in which female slaves/subs mentioned that he failed to live up to being a master in different ways. I guess what got me in the first post and then a lot of the responses was I saw in them some of the women I've known from groups I belonged to in the past. Mind you, these aren't the actual women, it just sounds like what they always said.

See, when I belonged to these groups and clubs, I never really fit in as a sub. So mostly I sat back, watched and listened.

What I saw were female "slaves" who were nothing more than girlfriends and wifes who, although they'd never admit it, demanded to be the ones in charge. It's the same as vanilla life. I saw over and over again, women who would sit down with me in private and tell me how much they wanted their man to dominate them or be masterful, but as soon as he made a decision she didn't like, she'd tell every other woman in the group what a complete moron he was. And usually, the statement would end with, "he's not a real master".

Sorry, looking back I'm thinking I'm getting off topic so let me try to sum it up. From my experience, if a sub woman tells you what her master must do to keep her, if he does exactly that, that's what will make her walk away because he obviously has no clue what he's doing.

I've seen it time after time. If she says he needs to be warm and sensitive and he is, then she complains that he's not the ruthless, cruel fantasy dom she reads about in stories. If she says she wants him to be more like the controlling dom, then she'll walk away complaining that he simply wanted an unpaid maid or whore and he didn't care for her needs.

Just my obervation.

(in reply to Jaybeee)

Post #: 78

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/17/2010 11:24:42 AM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

Slutty is definately the best type of cake lover. Although, slutty-in-denial cake lover might be even better.

quote:

Most of us are already baked.

Jefffff - Baked in more ways than one... Don't call the ATF.

(in reply to Jadedobserver)

Post #: 79

RE: What must a Master do to keep you? - 8/17/2010 11:34:20 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jadedobserver
I've seen it time after time. If she says he needs to be warm and sensitive and he is, then she complains that he's not the ruthless, cruel fantasy dom she reads about in stories. If she says she wants him to be more like the controlling dom, then she'll walk away complaining that he simply wanted an unpaid maid or whore and he didn't care for her needs.

Just my obervation.

Well, far be it from me to question your observations. Your life experience is, of course, your own. But I can absolutely attest to you that this is not how it is between Carol and I. She and I are both reasonably mature, honest, strong and self-aware individuals. If Carol tells me she needs some warmth, then it's a pretty safe guess that that's exactly what she needs. Isn't this what the word "trust" means?

In addition, I'm perfectly willing to satisfy Carol's demands upon me. She wants to be loved and nurtured.... both things I'd do in a total vacuum solely on the basis of how special I think she is as an individual. Insofar as her expectation that I lead well, that seems to me to be a no-brainer. I was the one who wanted to be a master. It seems perfectly reasonable to expect that I do the job well. Whether all of that means she's "really in control" or not a question that just isn't relevant to us.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Jadedobserver)

Post #: 80

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