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Country Lovin' - 8/15/2010 1:30:41 AM   
SassySouthrnLady


Posts: 51
Joined: 7/11/2010
From: Southeast Missouri
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The persistent ring of the telephone jarred Jenny from a deep sleep. She picked up the phone from its cradle on her nightstand. Glancing over at the clock, she noticed it was barely 7:30 in the morning, she wondered who in the world was calling her this early.

“Hello,” she replied sleepily.

“Mmm, mmm you sound sexy first thing in the morning,” said the familiar voice on the other end of the phone.

“Oh yeah right,” she giggled. “I sound like an ole’ bullfrog croakin’.”

“Mornin’ baby, I’ve sure missed you,” his voice took on a husky tone that she recognized well.

“I’ve missed you too,” she whispered back.

Jenny stretched out, pulling the soft comforter up between her legs as she adjusted herself in the bed. She moaned softly as the soft fabric brushed over her skin. It felt deliciously erotic lying here naked and talking to Robbie on the phone. Everything about him turned her on, even the sound of his voice could get her all worked up.

“Sounds like you’ve missed me a lot,” he teased seductively, his voice dripping with lust.

“Oh I have,” she purred, as she absentmindedly teased her nipple. “I can’t wait to show you just how much.”

“Well, well, well, that sure sounds like an offer too good to pass up to me.” He loved it when she was so lusty; it made her very bold.

“Uh-huh, it is,” she said coarsely.

Her voice was raspy, full of unbridled passion as she continued to lightly run long fingers over the fullness of her thigh. Her body shuddered as her fingers found their way down to her outer lips, barely brushing against the soft patch of damp curls.

Robbie held the receiver to his ear as he reached down and ran his hand over the swelling bulge between his legs. He could hear her breathing begin to quicken, he knew she was touching herself. He had watched her pleasure herself many times; he knew all the luscious curves of her body. He could almost see her heavy thighs spread wide as her fingers sought out her wetness. Closing his eyes, he could see her ample body spread out on the bed looking so sexy; her long black hair tousled from sleep, sprawled out over her pillows. He loved to touch her. Her soft, velvety skin was so soft compared to his sun-weathered hide.

“Can we get together today?” he asked thickly.

“Sure baby, what time?” she replied.

“Say about noon?”

“That sounds good to me. What should I wear?”

“How bout a short skirt with no panties?” he suggested teasingly.

“Now there’s an idea,” she giggled nervously.

“Then it’s settled,” he replied, smiling to himself.

They hung up the phone and Jenny hurried around getting things ready for her afternoon with him. She looked up at the clock. They had been on the phone for a good while, so she knew she’d have to get busy. There were a lot of things to do, not to mention it was about an hour’s drive to get to the place they were meeting. She had written down the directions he had given her, so she was all set except for getting ready.

Jenny rummaged through her closet trying to find just the right thing to wear. It wasn’t very often they had a meeting like this, and it had been so long since she had seen him. She wanted to look extra special. After digging around for quite some time, she finally picked out the perfect outfit. She carefully laid out her shortest tan skirt and a cropped, low-cut pink t-shirt to wear with it. A cute pink lace bra and white socks with sneakers would complete her outfit for the afternoon. She knew the bra would push her breasts up and out of the tiny t-shirt. Satisfied with her choices, she hurried into the bathroom to get a shower.

Jenny took extra time in the shower, making sure every place that could be nice and smooth was exactly that. After drying off, she sprayed perfume over her naked body; he loved this scent. She went about the task of fixing her hair and make-up before heading into the bedroom to dress. Glancing up at the clock on the bedroom wall, she realized it was nearly 10:30; she would have to hurry to get there on time. She slipped into her bra and shirt, and then stepped into her skirt. She felt nearly naked without her panties on, but it was also exciting. She looked at her ample reflection in the mirror. She was nearly finished, a quick smear of lipstick and she was finally ready to go.

It was about an hour’s drive to their meeting place, which gave her plenty of time to fantasize about the afternoon ahead. She thought about all the deliciously wonderful things they would do to each other. She knew his touch so well, that she could almost feel his rough hands gliding over her smooth skin. Her body ached for him.

The miles slipped away as she drove, caught up in her own thoughts. She couldn’t believe how wet she was just from anticipation. It was so erotic knowing she didn’t have panties on. This was a new experience for her and she found it oddly exciting. She felt the cool breeze between her legs; her skirt had slid up to the top of her thighs. She was sure you could almost see the top of her pussy. Glancing out the window, she noticed several truckers straining for a closer peek as she passed them interstate. She giggled to herself as she wondered just exactly what they were thinking seeing her this way. She could feel the excitement growing and her pussy getting wetter with each passing mile.

Jenny made the left turn off the interstate at her exit. Her heart pounded with thoughts of seeing Robbie. They were meeting at a truck stop, then she would follow him the rest of the way. Even though she had been here a few times before, she wasn’t very familiar with the area. As she made her left at the top of the overpass, she saw his truck. He recognized her and pulled out just in front of her. She smiled to herself; this was all part of the game. She fell in behind him and followed him for a good while down the winding roads that led out of town. She wondered where they were headed. Finally he turned into a dirt road up in a field and turned off his truck. She slowly pulled in behind him and turned off the car.

Robbie walked back to her car and opened the door before she could get out. She could see the urgency in his eyes. She slid her leg around to get out just as he reached down between her legs and slid her seat all the way back. One leg was outside the car the other still inside. She wasn’t sure at first exactly what he was going to do. He dropped to his knees and spread her legs wide with one hand and gently pushing her back onto the seat with the other. He buried his face in her already wet pussy, teasing her lips with his tongue. Jenny moaned as her body relaxed, shifting further back in the seat, spreading her legs wider for him to taste her.

His skillful mouth sought out her clit, sucking the little bud until it was fully erect. Quickly he slipped two fingers inside her wetness, coating them with her juices. He pumped them in and out slowly, while his tongue flicked against her clit. He was driving her crazy. Jenny gasped, wrapping her fingers in his hair, as she pulled his head closer to her pussy. He moaned deeply into her body, as he moved in closer, covering his face in her juices. His fingers pumped faster in and out of her slit, while he sucked all of her clit into his mouth, letting it pop in and out between his lips.

Jenny lifted her foot up on the dash of the car to give herself some leverage. Her pussy was now wide open as Robbie continued to ravage her with his mouth. She thrashed about in the seat, moaning as he licked and sucked on her. Fire danced through her body as her orgasm built, she arched her body as he sucked faster. She shuddered violently. Her pussy gripped his fingers as she exploded, squirting her juices all over his face. He lapped at the river of cum that was flowing from her slit, desperately trying to drink it all in. Her body trembled as he licked the last bits of juice that ran down her crack.

Jenny shifted her body around and rose up in the seat, wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed him deeply. She could taste her pussy on his lips as she sucked his tongue deeply into her mouth. Robbie groaned as her nails slid over his shoulders as she pulled him closer between her legs. Her tongue swirled down the side of his neck as she licked and nibbled her way up to his ear. His chest heaved as he moaned raggedly into her chest. She slipped her tongue inside his ear, sucking his lobe into her mouth. She knew this made him crazy. His heart pounded as she jerked his shirt up and shoved her hands underneath, pinching his already hard nipples.

“My God, I wanna fuck you,” he whispered coarsely.

“Oh yeah baby, fuck me now.”

Jenny’s breath was ragged as she kissed him. Robbie wrapped his arms around her, kissing her deeply as he pulled her from the car. They were out in the middle of nowhere, so she didn’t care that her skirt was around her waist, her ass exposed for the entire world to see. All that mattered was having him deep inside her. She clutched his body to hers as they went around to the back of his truck. She bent over the tailgate and spread her legs wide, wiggling her ass for him.

“Oh God I’ve missed that ass!”

His jeans dropped to the ground as he leaned over and squeezed her roundness, pausing only to place a wet kiss right on the cheek.

“Fuck me.” she gasped.

He needed no further invitation. He grabbed her with both hands and deep inside her. Her wetness enveloped his cock, oozing out on to his balls.

Oh my God!” she screamed. “Yes, yessss fuck me.”

He pulled nearly out and slammed into her once again. Her pussy was so wet and inviting. Her ass bounced as he pounded her pussy. She matched his thrusts, pushing her ass against him, sucking his cock deeper inside her wetness. This was how she liked it best, fast and hard. His balls slapped loudly against her ass as he fucked her. His efforts were rewarded with loud moans as she clutched the blanket under her breasts. Pumping faster and harder he slammed deeper inside her, as she thrashed beneath him.

“Oh fuck yeah,” she screamed. “I’m close”

Sweat poured down his chest as he held her tightly. Each thrust rocked her body beneath him. He slipped one arm around her. “Time to drive it home,” he thought as he slammed into her as deep as he could go. He could feel her pussy gripping his cock with each thrust. Her body tensed, screaming out in pleasure, as the ecstasy of release rocked her soul. She clutched his cock as he shot his load deep inside her pussy. He collapsed against her, his energy totally spent.

Robbie kissed her back softly as his cock pulsed inside her. Their breathing slowly returned to normal as their orgasms subsided. He pulled out of her as she turned to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply.

“I told you I’ve missed you,” she giggled.

“Man I’d say so,” he laughed as he hugged her tightly.



The End




Copyrighted © 2004 G.R. Walden. All rights reserved.


_____________________________

If my words can reach to the depths of passion and ignite a flame, then I have reached my goal as a writer. ~me

www.appetitesofpleasure.com

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Country Lovin' - 8/15/2010 2:06:15 AM   
hertz


Posts: 1315
Joined: 8/7/2010
Status: offline
This is good. I think you can make it a bit better. Are you up for some minor criticism? I won't humiliate you...

(in reply to SassySouthrnLady)
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RE: Country Lovin' - 8/15/2010 2:16:51 AM   
SassySouthrnLady


Posts: 51
Joined: 7/11/2010
From: Southeast Missouri
Status: offline
I'm always up for criticism. I've been writing for a good while now and have learned to have thicker skin. This was one of my early works and I was hoping for some feedback.
Thanks for taking the time to read it.

_____________________________

If my words can reach to the depths of passion and ignite a flame, then I have reached my goal as a writer. ~me

www.appetitesofpleasure.com


(in reply to hertz)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Country Lovin' - 8/15/2010 3:14:11 AM   
hertz


Posts: 1315
Joined: 8/7/2010
Status: offline
OK - It's only a minor stylistic thing I want to pick up on... :-)

Almost all the way through, the story is told from Jenny's perspective, which, to my mind, is exactly right. It's not her telling the story, but a narrative voice with access to her thoughts and feelings and what she is experiencing. It's about what happens to her - what she sees, feels, hears, thinks...

It's almost all done in this way except for the paragraph that starts:

'He loved it when she was so lusty; it made her very bold...'

and again at:

'
Robbie held the receiver to his ear as he reached down and ran his hand over the swelling bulge between his legs. He could hear her breathing begin to quicken, he knew she was touching herself...'

Which is OK, but a bit out of place. If you had more from his point of view, it would be fine. That would be omniscient narrative -  a bit old-fashioned style wise, but OK.

I think you need to change these lines to make it the same as the rest. You could solve the problem of how to describe what he is feeling by maybe describing what she imagines he might be feeling and doing. You'd have to describe her actions, and her fantasy about what he might be doing at the same time. It sounds complicated, but probably isn't as hard as it sounds. There are a couple of other places where you describe what he is thinking later in the story, as well - just odd lines.

Basically, my view is that you need to choose a perspective to tell the story from and stick with it. Either you tell it from both points of view, or just one. Or you formally swap from one to the other, and make it a feature.

Other than that, I quite like it. You maybe overuse 'teasingly'...

What do you think? Does that sound reasonable, or am I being an arse? lol

hertz   ;-)


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RE: Country Lovin' - 8/15/2010 3:27:36 AM   
SassySouthrnLady


Posts: 51
Joined: 7/11/2010
From: Southeast Missouri
Status: offline
It sounds spot on. I do get what you're saying about keeping the story in her pov instead of occasionally wandering off into his. The story is meant to be told in her point of view - how she thinks, feels, reacts, etc. There's no way from her perspective to know what he's thinking or doing, all she can do is imagine it based on what she can actually hear, see or feel.

I have a question. I've had problems in the past with the scenes being too mechanical, lacking emotion, especially with the sex scenes. Do you feel there is a problem here with that?

I really appreciate your feedback. I've been planning to rework this story - maybe fleshing the characters and storyline out more and submit it for publication. I also know it needs work. So all ideas are welcome and appreciated.

Rene'

_____________________________

If my words can reach to the depths of passion and ignite a flame, then I have reached my goal as a writer. ~me

www.appetitesofpleasure.com


(in reply to hertz)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Country Lovin' - 8/15/2010 4:23:32 AM   
hertz


Posts: 1315
Joined: 8/7/2010
Status: offline
Sex is really hard to write about. Even the acknowledged masters and mistresses of the art seriously fuck it up all the time. I think there's even an award for it - 'the worst sex award' or something. I don't think you have done so badly.

As you say, sometimes you end up with something that reads really mechanically: 'He inserted Part A into Hole B using Pressure C'. I dunno what the answer is. I spend ages drafting and redrafting trying to get it right (there's some more of my writing in my journal, if you are interested). Like you, I don't know if I hit it, or not.

I think the problem is that in the end, the sex act is about mechanics. Maybe the trick is to make sure there is plenty of foreplay there as well. Real sex can be a bit mechanical without a bit of a lead in (which is sometimes exactly what is required). I think writing about sex follows the same rules. Concentrate on setting the scene, and the rest should happen quite naturally. Maybe.

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RE: Country Lovin' - 8/15/2010 9:13:43 AM   
hertz


Posts: 1315
Joined: 8/7/2010
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I found a mention of the Bad Sex Award here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/nov/30/bad-sex-award-jonathan-littell-kindly-ones

Read this...


"If only I could still get hard, I thought, I could use my prick like a stake hardened in the fire, and blind this Polyphemus who made me Nobody. But my cock remained inert, I seemed turned to stone."

"I came suddenly, a jolt that emptied my head like a spoon scraping the inside of a soft-boiled egg"

Shockers! There are other examples here:

http://www.literaryreview.co.uk/badsex_11_08.html

But they don't all seem godawful to me...



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RE: Country Lovin' - 3/30/2011 3:57:23 AM   
Fantazmaster


Posts: 19
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline
Nice story,but it needs some element of conflict inter-woven into the story.I guess I am a bit of an adrenalin freak in stories,but what if she had a flat tire on the way to the meeting for example? Hmm tan skirt,no panties and lots of helpful truckers......

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