darq -> RE: "TRUE" slave (4/29/2006 9:54:18 PM)
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I've had brief flirtations with true slavery, I would say ... The beginnings of the relationships before the Master in question decided owning a human pet was too much work and I was forced to accept responsibility not only for myself but often for him as well ... Those brief times were wonderful. I don't really know if I would enjoy being a slave for the rest of my life. I actually detest the word slave ... It just irks me. I don't know why. But the reality of it, that sort of relationship where I can give totally of myself and know that not only am I accepted but I am also valued for what I offer, is a very comforting and wonderful thing. The thing for me is, I also enjoy pleasing myself. I did not enjoy being responsible for my ex's ... I'm sorry, a man should be responsible for himself. When and if I want a son, I'll adopt one. But a couple years ago I was given the opportunity to live completely for myself ... For 18 months it was all about me. And I gotta admit, I enjoyed it. I enjoy having the right to say, hmmm I'm NOT going to be naked today. I'm going to wear 4 layers of clothing. Or ... I'm not going to cook anything for dinner. I'm going to have a bowl of fruit and eat it in front of the tv. Just silly things like that ... I enjoy being in charge of myself, I guess. Also, its nice to not have to mind every word that comes out of my mouth ... Yes, I missed some aspects of being owned. Even now, I miss it a little bit ... I miss feeling a sense of accomplishment when I knew I'd done something, without being told, that would please my Master. I miss the way it felt to see the look in his eye when he knew it too. I miss the way it feels to know that if you stumble or even fall flat on your face, he's not only going to pick you up, he's going to dust you off and give you the chance to try again. Just the security of having 'a place', knowing that you 'belong' to someone and where he is, is home for you ... I miss that. I no longer pursue slavery in that sense though because I am weary of being on the loosing end. I don't see myself ever being in the position to get kicked out with nothing to my name ever again ... When you find it and it works for you, I guess its pretty awesome but if you find it and it doesn't work, it really sucks.
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