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RE: Deal Breakers - 8/31/2010 7:41:01 AM   
kuppykake


Posts: 125
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Here are my 3 main deal breakers:
1)  too cocky (you know what I mean!)... I can't stand a man who has his head up his own ass.
2)  JEALOUSY... perhaps this is where I differ from many people.  I am a brutally honest person.  If a man accuses me, he better have a DAMN good reason, or bye bye!!!
3)  dishonesty... the man I'm with should have absolutely nothing to hide, and neither shall I

(in reply to Tantriqu)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Deal Breakers - 8/31/2010 9:01:14 AM   
asilentscream


Posts: 17
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		Here's my list. A lot of the main ones have been said already, dishonesty, cheating, etc. But I'd like to add these:

Total selfishness, a little is fine, but when it gets to the point that a dominant demands extreme lengths for something that would give her the teeniest benefit or convenience without any thought to how much trouble the sub has to go through or the risk, it's deal breaker, which leads me into:

Not respecting or totally ignoring personal lines

Thoughtlessness or extreme carelessness

Money demands is a deal breaker for me. I don't mind buying things for a domme, but when it becomes a condition for even cordial conversation, parting ways is very mutual typically

Blackmail, at least the real stuff, roleplaying is a different story

Involving other guys in play, this includes trannies or those who were born with non-female parts

This kind of goes back to one's I've already mentioned, but ultimatums and coersion where the demands are things that intentionally cross my lines, especially if there's no obvious benefit to the domme except blackmail fodder or my lines being crossed seemingly for the sake of it

And also alcoholism or drug dependency, 420 is perfectly acceptable

Plus others I may have forgotten to mention.


< Message edited by asilentscream -- 8/31/2010 9:02:03 AM >

(in reply to kuppykake)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Deal Breakers - 8/31/2010 9:47:37 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I don't wanna' be fucking my bitch while she is buns up kneeling and have to stare at Freddy's name on her ass.  Having someone's property mark that isn't mine, like a name tattooed or a brand, just sits wrong with me.  It would be like looking at used cars and one of them was covered with old corporate logos and advertising.  Who would want to own that?


Apparently my owner did, thank God.  It's not the ex's name on my ass, but an insignia he created. So what my owner did was take hold of it, kiss it, and make it his.  We simply consider it a battle scar, and have recently decided that, in time, we'll convert it to something else.

If the goods are worth owning, the decorations on such goods can be altered.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/1/2010 8:11:18 AM   
PDXBRAT


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		Bad teeth
picky eaters
gambling addiction
emotional fucktards
married, seperated, anything other than completely single
lying of any kind
must like dogs
couch potato
lack of basic social skills

the deal breaker I experience most commonly is the jackass type who goes from "Nice to meet you" to "how much do you like it in the ass?" within about 5 minutes. Maybe I am over sensitive - but that's a deal breaker.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/1/2010 5:40:08 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I don't wanna' be fucking my bitch while she is buns up kneeling and have to stare at Freddy's name on her ass.  Having someone's property mark that isn't mine, like a name tattooed or a brand, just sits wrong with me.  It would be like looking at used cars and one of them was covered with old corporate logos and advertising.  Who would want to own that?


Apparently my owner did, thank God.  It's not the ex's name on my ass, but an insignia he created. So what my owner did was take hold of it, kiss it, and make it his.  We simply consider it a battle scar, and have recently decided that, in time, we'll convert it to something else.

If the goods are worth owning, the decorations on such goods can be altered.


Same here! My ex-husband was a wonderful artist who personally put a rather large tattoo on me. Master has never seen it as something that had to be erased. We see it as a symbol of me at another time - perhaps a battle scar (nice term) - but really not so much. It's beautiful artwork frankly and there are no names. We discussed covering it with something else at one point but have never followed through. It's not something He sees as threatening or shameful and, frankly, we really don't focus on it..........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/2/2010 11:24:01 AM   
sothernnyte


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline 		deal breakers


lying- just be honest, i might be open to it

heterosexuality- i will not participate sexually with a male

religion is fine..but dont expect that i may agree with everything about yours nor expect you to agree with everything about mine

i'm not a doormat, don't take my shyness for such

abuse- yes i am a masochist, no i will not be abused

do not assume because i am poly that i am promiscuous

personal values and morals- i have my own, they won't change to match yours

respect- you get what you give

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/2/2010 11:55:33 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Lying
Poly
Smoker
Conservative
Avid gun owner/Hunter
Angry
Cruel
Self centered


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/2/2010 7:30:00 PM   
itsmeinLV


Posts: 207
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline 		When the love just isn't there between us anymore.  Lying about cheating and/or cheating and then lying are deal breakers.  

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/3/2010 6:30:19 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		my biggies have already been mentioned - married, lying etc

Another important one for me is that I have to have someone who not only accepts my career but supports me in my advancement


_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to itsmeinLV)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/3/2010 10:33:13 PM   
inkSecret


Posts: 83
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

Today i was thinking what would be a deal breaker for different peiople , so i thought i wouls throw this out there. If you found out yur Master was married and his wife did not know what would be the bigger deal breaker the cheating or the lie? Just an example i would like to know what your deal breakers are. I Know some will be the same some very different.

My deal breakers are lies. If he lies to me then hoe can i ever trust him agan. Not that i have to worry about that my Master would never lie to me. Some people might see smoking as a hard limit my Master smokes but it is just a part of him and i love him so i accept it. I wish he would quit for his health but that has to be his decision to do so.

Don't mind me i go off on tangents. What is your deal breakers?

Matt's littleone


Zombies.

Absolutely, positively, No Zombies.

EDITED TO ADD --> Which pretty much makes up fifty percent of CollarMe xD


< Message edited by inkSecret -- 9/3/2010 10:34:05 PM >

_____________________________

Stop asking questions only you can answer
There's no standard to adhere to
We dominate and submit as we choose

You can't ask us
What's right for me?
We're not you

Decide your level of involvement
Find yourself
It's your decision

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/4/2010 3:25:11 AM   
BlackTigerDragon


Posts: 180
Joined: 4/1/2010
Status: offline 		This is a really stupid question. Fell free to do anything you want with this post...but from reading this thread...is there a difference between a deal breaker and discrimination?

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/4/2010 9:37:36 AM   
SubPet715


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/24/2010
From: Brooklyn, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PDXBRAT
the deal breaker I experience most commonly is the jackass type who goes from "Nice to meet you" to "how much do you like it in the ass?" within about 5 minutes. Maybe I am over sensitive - but that's a deal breaker.


Would you believe that is also my biggest deal breaker?

Among women, I call it going 0 to 60, when out of no where they assume because a few kind words have been traded that they have carte blanche. It shows little tact and respect for me as a person to assume i'm a sex crazed maniac who will take it where I can get it.

_____________________________

Passion isn't really happiness.

(in reply to PDXBRAT)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/4/2010 9:57:16 AM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubPet715
Would you believe that is also my biggest deal breaker?

Among women, I call it going 0 to 60, when out of no where they assume because a few kind words have been traded that they have carte blanche. It shows little tact and respect for me as a person to assume i'm a sex crazed maniac who will take it where I can get it.


I would after I read your journal. I saw your perspective, but mine is different. I'm not sure how much of it has to do with me not being a submissive.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/4/2010 10:02:15 AM >

(in reply to SubPet715)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/4/2010 10:05:37 PM   
inkSecret


Posts: 83
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubPet715


quote:

ORIGINAL: PDXBRAT
the deal breaker I experience most commonly is the jackass type who goes from "Nice to meet you" to "how much do you like it in the ass?" within about 5 minutes. Maybe I am over sensitive - but that's a deal breaker.


Would you believe that is also my biggest deal breaker?

Among women, I call it going 0 to 60, when out of no where they assume because a few kind words have been traded that they have carte blanche. It shows little tact and respect for me as a person to assume i'm a sex crazed maniac who will take it where I can get it.


They probably do this to you because there are people like me who are sex-crazed maniacs and try to hit every possible piece of offered ass (under 130lbs) before my heart explodes and I age an extra year.  xD

Male association.

It's like friendly fire.  It's funny to the person firing.


< Message edited by inkSecret -- 9/4/2010 10:06:14 PM >

_____________________________

Stop asking questions only you can answer
There's no standard to adhere to
We dominate and submit as we choose

You can't ask us
What's right for me?
We're not you

Decide your level of involvement
Find yourself
It's your decision

(in reply to SubPet715)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/5/2010 1:20:51 AM   
newbie2750


Posts: 33
Joined: 3/25/2010
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		I generally block people quickly when their opening line involves sexual suggestions, a demand for instant submission or a statement that they will, "cure me of my hard limits." They are hard limits for good reasons. Beyond that, I consider the following to be deal breakers in all aspects of my life:

  • Dishonesty;
  • Lack of self-discipline, self-control or self-respect;
  • Smoking or use of illegal drugs;
  • Abuse of alcohol; and
  • Incompatible values.

(in reply to inkSecret)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/6/2010 7:32:10 PM   
LadyRian


Posts: 486
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		Disrespect. Selfish disregard for my feelings, especially. Dom/mes have those, oh yes we do.

Many of the myriad things other posters have listed already, lying, emotionally unavailable, etc, but the real deal breaker for me is selfishness. Selfishness, and manipulation games.
And a grievous gripe of mine, as a Dominant: Submissives who embarrass me in public with their behaviour, then have the nerve to turn it around on me when told of my displeasure with such.  Behave or begone.

(in reply to Tantriqu)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/7/2010 11:01:33 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon

This is a really stupid question. Fell free to do anything you want with this post...but from reading this thread...is there a difference between a deal breaker and discrimination?


Discrimination is when it is put into public use. Such as not hiring any people of one religion or race. Preference is when you just know that you prefer an intimate relationship with certain people. Deal breakers are hard limits, things we cannot deal with for whatever reason.

One of my deal breakers are cats. I like cats. I like people who are animal people. Unfortunately I am extremely allergic to cats so couldn't live with one. I visit my father who has a cat and need a benedryl that night to handle the allergies. So for me, cat ownership is a deal breaker in an intimate relationship. Now if I played publicly, it wouldn't enter into who I played with at a dungeon because I wouldn't be in the presence of the cat.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to BlackTigerDragon)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/8/2010 7:49:21 PM   
HisEvelyn


Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline 		My deal-breakers:

Cheating
Lying
Disliking animals, especially cats (I must have cats, there's no two ways about it)
Narrow-mindedness
Intentional stupidity (being uneducated is fixable. Making a conscious choice to be ignorant and ignore self improvement is a no-go)
Emotional or physical abuse (I love a good cropping till my ass is bruised, but I am NOT a punching bag)
Any form of uncontrolled addiction, be it to substances, gambling, or video games
Lack of empathy
Religious zealotry

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/8/2010 8:26:43 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Ok, here are my deal breakers:
1 - They are dead.  Not recently diciest and the body is still warm, but cold dead.
2 - Pubic Hair.  The bush, the joy jungle, the vulva forest, a bearded clam.  I just can't do it... would be like sticking my cock in ZZ Top's mouth.


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to HisEvelyn)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Deal Breakers - 9/9/2010 12:10:41 AM   
WaywardsPet


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/24/2010
Status: offline 		I'd like to mirror the same answers other have given but I've been cheated on, I've been lied to, I've been involved with men with anger issues and drug addictions. I've lived through bloody beatings that had nothing to do with BDSM and well...I was too stupid to get out of those relationships so I guess they weren't exactly deal breakers. Of course, these days I might just have gained enough intelligence to know better, helps if you get knocked flat by the common sense fairy.

I think the only deal breaker for me would be someone that didn't read or allow me to read books. I love books with a passion that's been with me my entire life. I can't live without them. Several years ago I tried dating a vanilla man that insisted all my books be kept on the closet floor and whined every time I wanted a new book asking why I didn't just reread the old ones. I like reading a book and then talking with my partner about it, it's something I've always done. When I was little I shared fantasy novels with my father and grandmother, when I was older with all my friends and now Master and i share books (though, not all of them) and greatly enjoy long conversations about them. Although...Mistress Tonya brought up a good point. I draw the line at scat. I see enough of that at work.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 60
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