What can a sub do in a certain situation?

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What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 12:59:31 AM

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My Dom is out of town. He left this morning and will be gone all weekend. I miss him. I sent him a text because he likes when I send him random messeges when we can not be together telling him I am thinking about him but he has not responded. Would it be rash for me to send him another messege or call him? Or should I just wait for him to contact me?

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~Sassy~

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 1:04:57 AM

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You could always utilize this time to learn some very romantic things to surprise him with. Study some exotic cuisine, learn about flowers and their meanings, study room ambiance, decorate a room that will make your D/s time special and personal. Just a few thoughts.
Loki

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(in reply to YoungSub22)

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 1:17:27 AM

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Sending a message does not obligate a reply to it. If he does not reply, trust that he has his reasons. i learned the hard way that nagging about not being contacted does not do much to feed his desire to contact me. :)

i know it is difficult to miss someone you care about. If he enjoys your messages, then send them periodically, letting him know you are thinking of him, etc. In the meantime while he is away, you can use the time productively, and make him proud when he returns.

(in reply to YoungSub22)

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 1:44:36 AM

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Thats a great idea. I will study something I know he will appreciate and like. He loves to be cooked for so maybe I will practice my horrible cooking, lol.

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~Sassy~

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RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 1:46:03 AM

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It is very hard not to have contact when I am so used to it. I will definately try to put my attentions somewhere else more productive while he is gone. Thanks.

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~Sassy~

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RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 5:49:36 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungSub22

Thats a great idea. I will study something I know he will appreciate and like. He loves to be cooked for so maybe I will practice my horrible cooking, lol.

YoungSub,

There are very few things I will lay claim to doing well, but cooking is one of them. If you want some help with this let me know and I will email you some beginner friendly things you can make for him. I wont drain the thread by turning this into a recipe swap on the forum, haha.

(in reply to YoungSub22)

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 5:56:24 AM

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Trying to improve your cooking skills is a great idea. He will know that you did it for him and appreciate it. In fact, I think I'm going to do the same thing. I've always wanted to be a better cook and reading this gave me the inspiration!

(in reply to YoungSub22)

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 6:09:01 AM

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Young,

You have already been given some excellent advice but here are a few more thoughts.

As a dominant, my head is always full of my pet. As I drive I see things I would point out to her, thoughts occur to I would share, my loins stir as evil thoughts swirl in my head. I have no doubt a smile is on his face as he thinks of some cherished memory of you right now. Don't fret, you are on his mind and he is thinking of you.

That said, as a frail human, the same doubts you are experiencing sometimes cross my mind as well. Does she really love me, I am rough enough on her, demanding enough, do I shower her with enough attention, too much, etc.

Give him a wonderful gift and put some of your thoughts and fears to paper. Not only will he be pleased that you miss him so much (we do love to torture!) but he will also learn of your needs and either prepare you better for his next trip or help you work through it better, giving you places to go in your mind when you miss him.

I create a small calming ritual, often having a submissive kneel at my feet so I can brush her hair. Some sort of safe calming centered place. When they feel panicked or overwhelmed, I remind them to close their eyes and imagine that ritual, feel the calm return to them with my touch. It isn't a panacea but it is amazing how this sort of stuff works.

< Message edited by CrappyDom -- 4/22/2006 6:12:16 AM >

(in reply to YoungSub22)

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 6:52:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Give him a wonderful gift and put some of your thoughts and fears to paper. Not only will he be pleased that you miss him so much (we do love to torture!) but he will also learn of your needs and either prepare you better for his next trip or help you work through it better, giving you places to go in your mind when you miss him.

I create a small calming ritual, often having a submissive kneel at my feet so I can brush her hair. Some sort of safe calming centered place. When they feel panicked or overwhelmed, I remind them to close their eyes and imagine that ritual, feel the calm return to them with my touch. It isn't a panacea but it is amazing how this sort of stuff works.

i smiled at this. i journal daily to him and when he is away and not reachable, he receives many a diatribe describing my longing.

That safe place you speak of is something he has given me, too. i go there not only when he is gone, but during times of stress or uncertaintly. It is only a place in my mind but it certainly does have a calming effect.

The rest of your post was a pleasure to read. i myself do not realize how often he may or may not think of me (likely more often than i think he does). i would guess many a submissive does not take that into account either. Thank you for pointing out the "other side" of our yearnings... :)

(in reply to CrappyDom)

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 12:43:43 PM

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quote:

Would it be rash for me to send him another messege or call him? Or should I just wait for him to contact me?

I would think the ball is in his court now. You can fill your time by making the house spotless for his return, cooking some of his favorite things, working in the yard if you have one, buy a new outfit to wear for him, anything to make his return more special.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to YoungSub22)

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 5:09:37 PM

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CrappyDom, That is some fabulous advice and I will definately add that to my journal for him to read when he gets back. I think he was thinking of me too. He finally called me and said he had some great things to tell me when he gets home. Thanks so much!

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(in reply to CrappyDom)

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 5:11:43 PM

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Bandit, we should discuss this more and swap recipes and such. I am such a beginner I might not have much to add in the beginning but we can tell eachother how each recipe turned out, any mistakes made, the tastes and so on. Let me know if your interested.

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~Sassy~

(in reply to bandit25)

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 5:13:42 PM

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Young...I'd love that!

(in reply to YoungSub22)

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 6:14:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungSub22

It is very hard not to have contact when I am so used to it. I will definately try to put my attentions somewhere else more productive while he is gone. Thanks.

I feel your pain YoungSub22 since my dom will be leaving in the next couple of weeks for 12 days. This will be the first time we will be apart since moving into together and I will have many times during that time period where I won't be able to have contact with him. I know I will be miss him like crazy and feel very alone. We are already setting me up with many projects and task that will keep me busy while he is away.

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“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to YoungSub22)

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 7:03:35 PM

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Little, If your dom allows feel free to messege me anytime and we can chat to keep you occupied. I am a very well rounded person and have many interests outside of D/s, such as art, movies, music, politics (Anti-Bush) so on and so forth, so if you ever wanna chat, I am here. I know it will help me too, as I have worked on some of my projects, but they don't seem to take enough of my time. E-mail me back if you wanna chat.

Young

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~Sassy~

(in reply to Littlepita)

RE: What can a sub do in a certain situation? - 4/22/2006 9:29:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungSub22

Bandit, we should discuss this more and swap recipes and such. I am such a beginner I might not have much to add in the beginning but we can tell eachother how each recipe turned out, any mistakes made, the tastes and so on. Let me know if your interested.

You might also look to see if there are any local cooking classes. There is a place here called free university that does weekly or monthly classes in Tuscan cooking, wine tasting, cigars, beers, edible gardening. Might be worth looking into. Costs are usually small compaired to what you gain.

You also might look into your indian heritage for recipes that are interesting. I'm a sucker for indian fry bread and I can't get anyone to give me a recipe because like lots of things in this heritage it's all passed down through practice and not something that's written down.

(in reply to YoungSub22)

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