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ORIGINAL: theRose4U

I think in this situation you need to master yourself and your situation. There is a reason that the phrase out of the skillet and into the fire exsists...this would be one of those situations. Being an adult with a child living with mom & dad, regardless of the conveniences that come with that, does not show me that you're an independent and capable person.Jumping out of one bad relationship to run headlong into another with your kids in tow would have my mother at the courthouse petitioning for custody...but she's just that way. Kids come first, they didn't ask to be drug into the drama that you call a life and regardless of them any sane dominant isn't going to be willing to take on the baggage you appear to be carrying.

The point of my rant you ask? If you pack your bags to go anywhere it should be an apartment near your family if they are helping with the wee ones. Then work on yourself. You have a good job...keep it the economy is on a downturn. If eventually you can get a transfer near where this person is great, if you can't then it will be a test of their character as to whether they're still interested.

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ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

You might consider a temporary move away from your mother but not to your master.  I know I'd be very nervous if I suspected someone was moving in with me to get away from an uncomfortable situation.

Prove you can be happy on your own.  That's the only way you'll really know if you want to be with him

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ORIGINAL: Arpig

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If you put your child first then the child sees that the father is not important in the scheme of things... it is also a motivation for the father to not accept the child as his own (which is difficult in the first place) and it takes away any authority the father might have in the family....

BUNK!!!!
Pure unalduterated BUNK!!!
I would say that the reason 2nd marriages with children have such a high failure rate is the new husband refusing to accept that the children DO come first...if they were his kids he would insist on it, but since they are not his, he views them as an imposition...a single mother (or father) is a package deal....you get em all or you get none.

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ORIGINAL: TrainMeSir

I am not taken care of......but this does NOT affect the care i give my children!  Submissive in my mind does not mean incapable, nor selfish.....i hope you are not a mother.  They are not spoiled by any means in us taking their needs 1st......they are our responsibility to take their needs 1st!

Arpig is quite right.........i think you're very confused.

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ORIGINAL: feastie

I am a single mother of two children.  We have no idea where their father is and only occasionally receive any child support from him.  He is supposed to provide them with medical insurance, but he has not since we separated.  My children and I live with my parents.  I work a full-time job as an administrative assistant and have just begun a new business with my sister which is not yet self-sufficient.  I provide our groceries, clothing, medical, pharmaceutical, our transportation, fuel and insurance and entertainment.  The only thing I do not provide is the home in which we live.  I could move us to a place of our own, but anything I could afford, along with utilities, water, etc., would be little more than a hovel.  I choose to remain in my parents home so that my children have the benefit of a nice and secure place to live.  They also have the benefit of having daily interaction with an adult male, my father.  He is stepping up to the plate as needed to provide that father figure they so desperately need.  Living here drives me NUTS much of the time.   I deal with that, so that my children may benefit.

My priorities are mother first, woman second and submissive third.  What that means is that my children need to be able to count on me more than more than I need to be personally fulfilled.  My womanhood does not end because I am submissive, nor does submission supercede my being a woman.  Too often, people try to lose their humanity in their orientation.  I am much more than a submissive, I am a submissive woman.

The needs of children, any children, come before the needs of parents, male or female, dominant or submissive.  It's not a road to the spoiling of the children, my children are not spoiled.  They are loved and well-cared for and they are secure and happy.  They are very well-adjusted for having a deadbeat dad, in absentia.

Any dominant or man who is not man enough to understand that children's needs do indeed come before anyone else's, who is not willing to become a part of their lives and engage himself in childrearing, whether his children or not, is dominant to me, he's simply selfish.

If that means I will be alone until after my children have grown and left me, so be it.  I would rather be alone.

Our children are not possessions.  We only have the privilege of guiding them and teaching them to be good and productive citizens as they grow.  We get to share their lives with them, and love them, but they only belong to us for a short time.  It's up to us to make that time count.

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ORIGINAL: Areflectionofyou

My children always come first

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ORIGINAL: Areflectionofyou

I have sole custody and he chooses not to be appart of their lives....his choice

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ORIGINAL: MasterandCommand

If you put your child first then the child sees that the father is not important in the scheme of things... it is also a motivation for the father to not accept the child as his own (which is difficult in the first place) and it takes away any authority the father might have in the family.... in essence, it makes the new father a third wheel.... one of the main reasons that second marriages with children have a 65% failure rate.

If you are going to marry a Man, then you need to accept him as being first and trust him to be the father and leader, not the third wheel behing your child at your permission.