RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes

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RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 12:12:01 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm going to take a stab at that and suppose that she means there are more folks who are bottoms than what some may describe as submissive. Unfortunately, the site doesn't have a designation for top or bottom, so folks do with the best that they have.

I'm sure that Hib will correct Me if I am wrong.

Sounds plausible. I'd instinctively balk at the idea of two discrete categories - 'bottom' versus 'submissive' - rather than a range between the two, though. But, but . . . an old subject, not to be rehashed all over again here, I suppose.

I do think, though, that in the D/s world as well as that of the vanilla, women are less interested in having sex. In fact, I believe that to be the case even when women are in a good mood, which does happen occasionally.

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Post #: 21

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 12:35:19 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Sounds plausible. I'd instinctively balk at the idea of two discrete categories - 'bottom' versus 'submissive' - rather than a range between the two, though. But, but . . . an old subject, not to be rehashed all over again here, I suppose.

I do think, though, that in the D/s world as well as that of the vanilla, women are less interested in having sex. In fact, I believe that to be the case even when women are in a good mood, which does happen occasionally.

No reason not to rehash it. The original, as VC pointed out, is a rehashed one as well.

I actually wouldn't be opposed to the categories being split. There are a number of folks who don't like having to select Dominant or submissive when they don't feel that is best to describe them. Of course, any 'check the box' system will be lacking. I'd think it would be impossible to create such a system to illuminate the subtle nuances. Thank goodness for profile text!

Personally, I'm a rather poor example to attempt to gauge the sexual inclinations of Dominant women as a whole. I happen to be more the connection type. I am more sexually driven when the mental processes are engaged and preferably, the emotional ones.

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Post #: 22

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 12:55:08 PM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

Peon

quote:

I do think, though, that in the D/s world as well as that of the vanilla, women are less interested in having sex.

Not my experience at all. People are unique. Perhaps it's just luck, but most of my female partners have had very high sex drives; they go after sex because they want it frequently. Then again, this could be driven by "compatibility" (in the sexual arena and in other arenas too) and thus my viewpoint may be skewed. At any rate, I can assure you there are lots of women who enjoy sex, who crave sex regularly, and who initiate sex.

quote:

In fact, I believe that to be the case even when women are in a good mood, which does happen occasionally.

Who is yanking whose plonker now? Cheeky bitch. :-)

Elan.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 23

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 1:59:12 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

That thread delivers. I forgot what the topic was halfway through the first page.

VC, domiguy, and Jeffff getting along - lessons past.

Thanks, I just visited that thread. ROFLMAO!!!

I'm now involoved in an extensive fit of giggles. Every time I stop, I start up again. If this is the worst trouble I have all day, I'll be doing alright.

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Post #: 24

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 2:02:10 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

That thread delivers. I forgot what the topic was halfway through the first page.

VC, domiguy, and Jeffff getting along - lessons past.

Thanks, I just visited that thread. ROFLMAO!!!

I'm now involoved in an extensive fit of giggles. Every time I stop, I start up again. If this is the worst trouble I have all day, I'll be doing alright.

Edited to repost the link. Thanks, VC!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3117702/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3117702

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Post #: 25

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 2:07:44 PM

SorceressJ

Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

That thread delivers. I forgot what the topic was halfway through the first page.

VC, domiguy, and Jeffff getting along - lessons past.

:::THUD:::
Crap, the world really *IS* coming to an end, innit..?

Attachment (1)

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Post #: 26

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 2:08:31 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

Fear not, he was being sarcastic. Read the thread. I defy you not to laugh at some of the lines.

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Post #: 27

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 2:15:04 PM

Twoshoes

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Joined: 7/27/2010
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Pffft, that's easy. I have no emotions. I read everything with a stone-eyed gaze. I only briefly fake bemusement for politeness' sake.

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Post #: 28

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 2:36:22 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

*still involved in extensive giggle fit*

Edited to add: VC is evil. If I die laughing, I will haunt her.

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 9/14/2010 2:53:31 PM >

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Post #: 29

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 2:55:36 PM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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OP if pussy rules then why are so many women throwing themselfes at my feet. Had to get new shoes because of lipstick build up on them.

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Post #: 30

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 2:55:52 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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Quit opening your mail if you don't want to be tormented.

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 9/14/2010 2:57:42 PM >

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Post #: 31

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 3:05:16 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

You can't make me!

*scurries away to kiss Ray's feet*

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Post #: 32

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 3:20:36 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

OP, there ARE more female dominants than there are submissive males. You can trust me on that.

What? Really? That's news to me. Or are you yanking our plonkers here, Lady Hib?

No, not taking the P, just what Otters and LP said. NOT many actual submissive males, lots of kinky males. I have no issue with folks who are just kinky in the bedroom or on the kitchen table, but let's not confuse them with actual men like yourself and our fine Otters.

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Post #: 33

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 3:21:41 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Sex? What is this sex of which you speak? Shoot, I never do THAT~

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Post #: 34

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 8:51:01 PM

LadyDelilahDeb

Posts: 52
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline

Fast Reply:
Elsewhere the options include Masochist as well as Submissive. A distinction that would actually be useful…but only if the people doing the selecting had a clue about their own interests. Way too many kinky porn-watchers don't.

Lady Delilah Deb

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Post #: 35

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/15/2010 9:22:38 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

Here's how I rank the power scale of dating.

#1 The Very Attractive Woman

#1.5 The Attractive Woman

#2 The Attractive and (Charismatic or wealthy) man

#3 Solid guys

#3a Women who know how to have fun and relate well to others.

#4 Bald Guys

#5 Bald and short guys

#6 Bald, short, fat guys

#7 the unattractive woman

#8 Bald, short, fat, poor and stupid guys

-------

One of the best things about being male is being responsible for making dates happen and developing the skills of being proactive.

Note: Your post drew a little too much unearned snark for my taste. In many ways, this is a traditional welcome to the Ask a Mistress Section.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 9/15/2010 9:23:05 PM >

(in reply to Roger39m)

Post #: 36

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/16/2010 2:58:15 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

I think the emphasis should be on the word "submissive". Lots of guys looking to get their rocks off...very very few actual "submissives".

And very few actual Dommes too! There are a lot of online women that just enjoy the attention and titilation but wouldn't really have a clue how to dominate if they ever actually gave a sub a chance.
There are some dominant women that come to these forums that are very obviously what they say they are but I see a huge number of women just playing a game and getting lots of attention.
If you looked at the huge amount of self proclaimed dominant women on CM alone, there really wouldn't be such a problem if all of them were genuine.

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Post #: 37

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/16/2010 8:16:46 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

One of the best things about being male is being responsible for making dates happen and developing the skills of being proactive.

~bolding mine~

BEING PROACTIVE. If the "submissive" males who have profiles would actually be proactive about wanting to DATE a dominant woman, instead of playing the coy maiden, there might be some progress. So many of these men managed to get married at least once, surely they remember how to offer a greeting, start a conversation, and ask a person to coffee?

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Post #: 38

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/16/2010 8:33:51 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline

my opinion has been well versed on this board. People are very aware of my view. if you dont know trawl the forum history to get a sense of which side of the fence i would be on in this particular argument. Reality is something many on the Domme side of the fence dont have. Especially with their financial demands
kevin

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 39

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/16/2010 9:09:03 AM

bighappygoth39

Posts: 633
Joined: 10/7/2009
Status: offline

I can only go on my own experiences, but I found over the years that there did seem to be a lot of sub men out there for the picking, but on closer examination, not that many of them were genuine about what they said they either were or they wanted. I have always believed that to find what you're looking for, you have to have a good idea of what you want, be it just casual sessions or a long term relationship. So, it was pretty frustrating finding many men who had no idea what they wanted, or, in some cases, they didn't even know what they enjoyed. It did get tiresome at times, especially when I knew exactly what I wanted and made it perfectly clear in my profiles, or when chatting. I also have to add that I ended up having to change the content on my profile on here mainly to point out that I was not a robot with a cane/whip/crop attached to the hand, which, sadly a lot of sub or so-called sub men seem to think a female dominant should be. Luckily my many years of waiting finally paid off and I have now found my partner, who is perfect for me in every way, but it took a lot of talking to find out if we had the right connection I need for a long term relationship.
I don't post that often but I felt I had to just to point out that the balance is not as one sided as people seem to think it is. It could just have been my bad luck, and I do hope it is but from what I've seen, it isn't. Hopefully things will get better in time.

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Don't judge a book by its cover, it could well be worth a good sniff or two...

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Post #: 40

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