NoCalOwner -> RE: What do You mean, she doesn't understand Your needs Sir? (9/27/2004 12:10:51 PM)
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This girl sees not that they are a Master in thier hearts, for if they were they could Master enough will to make either thier wife understand or GET THEMSELVES OUT! This one invites honest constructive, retort, perhaps You can make her understand why, if they are Masters in thier hearts, they remain slaves to thier wives. Excellent point! Proudsub also makes good points about couples staying together because of love and family. My background differs from hers, so I have a 3rd reason to add to her list. 3) Lethargy and fear. My first marriage was bad after a year, and after a dozen years was almost intolerable. By the 15 year mark it was absolutely hopeless, purely the stuff that migraines and ulcers are made of. Why did I stick around? Sure, I was thinking about the kids, and not wanting to be cruel to anyone, but there comes a point when it seems like you're doing more harm than good by staying together. Beyond that point, there is nothing left but lethargy and fear. Your marriage may be a disaster, but it's a known, predictable evil, and the rut you've been in for years may seem comfortable compared to tossing a few things in the car and throwing away your life as you've known it. During the latter years of that marriage, I did a lot of sneaking around. I fooled around with about twice as many women while I was married as I had when I was single. None of the women concerned impressed me as the ideal "Plan B," so rather than bolt, I just continued to cheat. It kept me sane, sort of. Then one day, one of them fell head over heels in love with me, and I was forced to see that while I might get some comfort out of cheating, it could come at the cost of making someone I cared about absolutely miserable, no matter how careful my sneaking was. She abruptly moved out of town without telling me where she was going. I never saw her again. A while later I met someone who was the PERFECT Plan B, and that was that. I spent 10 minutes packing and took off, as an angry ex-to-be yelled at me from the driveway. Everybody lived happily ever after. My points? Even if the spouse never finds out, sooner or later people are gonna get hurt, and those people may well include you. If the marriage is shot and you're the answer, the marriage will implode very, very quickly. If that doesn't happen quite soon after you meet, don't hold your breath, it probably never will. You're probably regarded as providing some of the fun that's missing from the marriage, but not as a potential replacement for it, and you will end up feeling like zeloma. It could also be that the marriage isn't really shot, and you still end up feeling like zeloma. I don't think that I was in any sense being a Dom during my first marriage. Dominance shouldn't require acting deceitfully, and it is part of life, vanilla and otherwise, not just some sort of roleplay. I became a Dom the day I regained my honesty and left.
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