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Voodali -> RE: What does Dominance mean to you? (9/21/2010 12:26:19 PM)
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To some, dominance is the ability to waltz into any social situation and get everyone to do what you want. To me, that's stressful, possibly disrespectful, depending on the situation, and unrealistic. To me, dominance is a kink as opposed to a social trait, the desire to lead one attractive person who has given control to me, not to make an attempt to bully or manipulate my way into leading any number of unwilling people. Often, as someone just said, the line between kinky dominance and social dominance gets blurred, and the kinky dominant is expected to lead.
There are dominants who don't lead socially, and there are submissives who do. A great leader, in my opinion, is a servant of the people. Sometimes I find myself being that leader, and sometimes the position is more wisely bestowed on someone else. A group trying to accomplish something does need one, or it will fall into chaos....but it needs one, in my opinion, not several egos vying for the position. There are times to relax, sit back, and let someone else lead, and there are times to realize that one is needed and step in for the good of the group.
In my ideal vision, a good kinky dominant has a certain poise and integrity. Knowing her potential power, she deals politely with people until anything else has been consented to, or, I suppose, if someone has truly merited her disrespect. Her attitude is almost chivalrous. There is no need to engage in pissing contests with other dominants, because she is secure in her power. There is no need to try to force an unwilling submissive to become something he or she doesn't (at least secretly) want to become. I think its more about knowing what she wants, remaining firm in that knowledge, and simply deflecting disrespect and attempts to control her like a fluid martial arts move. Incidentally, I say this is my ideal, not that I have mastered it.
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