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porcelaine -> RE: Kissing Frogs or Letting Go ? (10/1/2010 7:13:50 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit
I have a third plan.
Stop looking for a prince/princess and start looking for a man/woman.
People focus on crappy things like height, breast size, etc. As long as people focus on the shallow things, they keep kissing toads with crowns on their heads instead of the good people next to the toads. Then they complain about kissing toads and expect sympathy.
Greetings StrongSpirit,
Unlike some I don't harbor bad feelings towards those that others consider shallow. I believe we each have shortcomings or areas that require balance we must confront. What I've learned from my own experiences is the inevitability of those corrective forces gravitating in my direction. As such, the would be shallow individual will eventually attract someone that falls outside the parameters of what they desire. It provides a challenge to their way of thinking. One that can be incredibly unsettling, especially if they've attached themselves to an ideal that remains heavily entrenched in their head.
However, I'm not inclined to chide them for feeling as they do. On the contrary, I believe they deserve compassion and understanding. If you look at the condition from a logical standpoint, you often discover deep seeded fears and insecurities nestled at the root of their viewpoints. The more entrenched the ideology has become, the more difficult it is to control and sustain. The quest for perfection creates a never-ending restlessness and an unspoken fear of separation. It is my belief that the ideal isn't satisfactory, but offers a measure of safe relating that the individual can handle.
This is not to suggest that preferences are the enemy nor am I addressing that facet. What I am responding to is the inability some have to give or receive love unless is comes within a specific guise or condition. I find it difficult to rebuke a person operating in such a limited state. And I've learned over time that it is rarely the packaging that determines their capacity to set aside what's comfortably familiar, but an understanding between the two that's never echoed but truthfully recognizes the vulnerability and emotional constrictions the individual puts forth to offset the possibility of disappointment and pain. It is a shield, but it can be penetrated. But never through force. It requires strength of will that reveals itself in a soft touch driven by love. For that is what the individual truly craves. They simply cannot and will not admit it.
Namaste,
~porcelaine
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