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building a good profile - 10/11/2010 9:48:17 AM

sofldan

Posts: 150
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline

this is something I feel I am struggling with. While most sites have a series of questions and tips to help you it's not really here. So I am asking for some advice. What is missing or should I reword something? Just curious because I really enjoy the site and want to be successful in my hunt to find a partner. Thanks everyone for the help.

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RE: building a good profile - 10/11/2010 11:08:30 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'd leave out the bit about your explorations with a mistress, it's not really germane to what you're looking for.

What you've mainly left out is everything that tells us about who you are. What do you enjoy doing? Rebuild motorcycles? Civil War re-enactments? Tell us what you are passionate about. Because that's what everyone wants in a partner, someone with passion. And don't go on and on about sex, just one line about in general what kind of play. Serious edgeplayer? Heavy sadist? Sensual Top? Bondage freak?

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RE: building a good profile - 10/11/2010 2:46:06 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I like your picture, you're smiling and appear friendly. I'm with Des, leave out the stuff about the mistress for the reason that many women who are looking for a Dominant man are not interested at all in someone who has submissive tendencies or has had them in the past. It's just the way it is. Don't hide your past and mention it fairly quickly to anyone who seems interested in you, but if you are looking to get more submissive women interested in the profile it'll help not to mention your submissive past upfront.

Maybe more about what qualities you are looking for in a partner and what type of relationship you are looking for...you just mention relationship in general. Casual, committed, fuck-buddies? Monogamous or poly?

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RE: building a good profile - 10/11/2010 3:24:04 PM

sofldan

Posts: 150
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline

thank you for the critique. I edited a little bit added a little bit and will continue to work on it till it is what it should be. Really appreciate the help.

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RE: building a good profile - 10/11/2010 4:26:57 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

Good rewrites. I'd go through and edit for general good grammar, punctuation, and spelling - for instance you reference a 'she' in one paragraph but have taken out the reference to the Mistress so this 'she' is without a pronoun antecedent. And honestly, I'd take out the first line about starting out in the community as a submissive, I'm not sure that's going to get you any takers. You could say something like you've had an interest in BDSM for some time and have explored it in general - learning about Domination - and now you are looking for a submissive woman to share it with. Or something like that

I like the part about communication, that would speak to me. I like that you don't use negativity, that is always attractive. I like the addition of your general hobbies and interests.

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RE: building a good profile - 10/11/2010 4:53:17 PM

sofldan

Posts: 150
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline

thanks again. Edited a bit more, just been a little rough today having to do all edits on my palm phone. My cable modem went out on me last night so having to wait on comcast to mail another. Argh!

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RE: building a good profile - 10/14/2010 2:32:26 PM

sofldan

Posts: 150
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline

thanks again all. I finally got my new modem from comcast today and was able to put everything thru word and correct some issues.

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RE: building a good profile - 10/16/2010 7:10:07 AM

tewy01

Posts: 91
Joined: 3/9/2009
Status: offline

I read your profile and it does seem alittle to long but just an opinion.
I need to work on mine also.
Good luck.

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RE: building a good profile - 10/18/2010 5:06:27 PM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

Greetings

The first two things that I notice about your profile is A that your picture give me motion sickness. I do not mean to be rude but it is very blurry and while you are a handsome man with amazing blue eyes, the picture itself is really hard to look at. I would recommend getting a better photo. The second thing I notice is your headline. It just looks like nonsense to me, I do not really get what to mean and seeing that headline made me wonder if the profile itself was a joke. My advice would be to put something in the headline that makes sense, a short one line description of yourself or what you seek for example, that will make your profile look allot more serious, especially since collarme have so many profiles that many will just browse headlines and just skip right by a headline like that without ever reading anything further down.

The text in your profile is very good. It give enough detail both about your BDSM and vanilla sides, as well as your hobbies and what you are seeking, it makes you sound like a great guy and to my mind it is well written, honest and have the perfect mix between not being to long, and giving enough detail. If I was going to say anything negative it is that if you format your text a little better so the profile looks a bit more tidy, with even spacing between paragraphs and the like then your profile will look better and it will also look like you but more effort into it and that will make for a better presentation of you.

You do sound like a really great guy. I hope you find what you are looking for. Good luck.

Be Well.

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Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

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